To Impeach Or Not Impeach

Republicans in the House Of Representatives proudly impeached Democratic President William Jefferson Clinton for lying about a consensual sexual liaison, yet they claim that it is “fundamentally flawed” to investigate this president for extorting a foreign government by withholding military aid unless they agreed to do him a personal political favor, a favor that, by the way, is unquestionably illegal. 

How far do they have to have their heads up Donald Trump’s ass to agree to that pathetic bargain? 

Get a spine, Republicans! And while you’re out shopping for body parts, you might want to look for a soul.

Crazy Halloween

What is going on today? I was sitting in the bathroom quietly doing what I needed to do when some guy came into the stall beside me, sat down, and immediately started blasting explosive bursts of diarrhea. Simultaneously - I am not kidding! - some guy a few stalls to the right started blasting his own colon-cleansing explosions. I was getting it in stereo!

I finished my business quickly and got out of there before any evil spirits could catch me.

On a lighter note, when I stepped outside to make a phone call, I saw a young man walk out of the lobby of my office building wearing a Buzz Lightyear costume that looked like it was designed for a ten-year-old.

What a crazy Halloween!

Big Slimy, Sticky Mess

After arriving at the office this morning and settling in, I walked to a nearby coffee shop and ordered a latte and a breakfast sandwich with bacon and egg on a gluten-free English muffin (amazing invention!). I came back up stairs and read some emails before taking my coffee and sandwich over to the seating area in the pantry.

It’s a good thing that I didn’t try to eat my breakfast at the desk, because on the fourth bite, the liquid egg yolk exploded and splashed all over my hand and the table top. Thankfully, it missed my shirt sleeve, but my hand was a big slimy, sticky mess. 

Using every napkin that I had brought to the table, I did my best to wipe up and contain the mess on my hand, then I walked toward the sink carrying a big wad of sticky paper. Just as I was about to reach the sink, some guy jumped in front of me to wash his spoon in meticulous, unhurried fashion. His f-ing spoon!

Thanks a lot, pal!

When he finished, the guy turned and shot me a nasty look as if to say, “What are you doing standing behind me?” The world is full of clueless, self-absorbed morons.

I peeled the glob of napkins, which now resembled half-set paper maché, away from my slimy, sticky hand and washed thoroughly with dishwashing liquid (all that was available) before going back to clean up the mess on the table. What a way to begin the work day!

If I Said It

If I said it, I meant it. 

If I did it, I believed in it. 

If I loved, I thought it would last forever. 

If It’s Not You

If it’s not true and it’s not you, don’t say it.

Hungary And Slovakia

Both Hungary and Slovakia are in the European Union, but while Slovakia uses the Euro currency, Hungary maintains its own currency, the Florint. The exchange rate is around 300 Florints to a US dollar. 

When you are in Hungary and you are constantly calculating prices in tens of thousands of Florints, prepare to make frequent mistakes.

Hungary seemed a bit more laid back. Nobody hassles you. I was taking picture of the Parliament building at night with a tripod. The cops watched me, but no one asked me what I was doing. Imagine a foreigner trying that in the USA.

Slovakia was pleasantly relaxed as well except in the eastern part of the country, near Ukraine. There, you might notice more of an ex-Soviet feel, where people watch you suspiciously. Still, nobody gave me a hassle. If you want to be hassled by cops or territorial citizens, visit the States.

On European highways, there are people who drive very fast in the left lane, and they’ll tailgate and flash you if you are in their way, but otherwise, drivers are very politie. In Slovakia, they’ll beep their horn if you’re moving slowly; in Hungary, they don’t even do that. Drivers in the US are far more aggressive and irritable.

Budapest has a special beauty that few other cities can match. Bratislava is a smaller city with a very pretty historic center.

In Hungary, a restaurant bill includes an 11 to 13 percent service charge, so you don’t have to tip. In Slovakia, tips are expected and appreciated.

In both countries, you’ll be able to use your VISA or Mastercard, but American Express is rarely accepted. Only big hotels, car rental agencies, and airport vendors accept Amex. When I asked them why, they claimed that the fees are too high.

In Hungary, watch out for ATMs or other electronic transactions that offer to convert the amount to Euros or to your home currency. If you choose this option, they will include a big markup. One ATM wanted to charge twelve percent. Choose to pay everything in the native Florints, and let your bank calculate the currency conversion.

The food was wonderful in both countries, delicious meals prepared with pride using fresh ingredients. I have a sensitive stomach, and I experienced no issues with anything that I ate during my time there.

Random Thoughts - 20191029

Random Thoughts - 20191029

Jet lag bothers me less and less as I get older. It may be the only advantage of getting older.

Resist brainwashing. Cultivate a dirty mind.

When you negotiate for sex, drive a hard bargain or get stiffed.

I see no reason why French fries don’t qualify as a salad.

Going postal solves nothing. It only increases the price of stamps.

When there’s nothing left to do, do something else.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 164 - Elderly Couples

I noticed a lot of frail, elderly people out walking yesterday, individuals, couples, and groups of friends. It struck me that I didn’t see as many elderly folks walking back in the summer, which makes sense. They probably stay inside to avoid the heat and poor air quality. 

I was particularly moved by the couples. It was a delight to watch them walking arm in arm, supporting each other, pausing when necessary, being careful not to walk too fast for their partner. I have a special heartfelt admiration for people who stand by each other for a lifetime, supporting each other through thick and thin, dedicated to taking care of each other to the end and sharing the joys and sorrows of every day that they have left. 

That is true love, true fulfillment, true happiness. Witnessing that kind of love firsthand, even for a brief moment, fills my heart with joy and makes me believe that goodness and kindness make all things possible. It is not through poetic words, passionate embraces, or pleasant adventures that we express how deeply we love someone, but through our sheer, timeless, unbending dedication to their happiness and well-being. Watch an elderly couple who treats each other tenderly and respectfully, and you will see true love in action.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Raid

Congratulations to the US military and intelligence community for planning and executing a daring raid that led to the death of the leader of one of the world’s most dangerous terrorism organizations. Private Bonespurs celebrated the event by going on television, claiming credit, and remarking that the target had “died like a coward,” words that will live on as a rallying cry for all future ISIS terror attacks. SMH

Toddlers

Fundamentally, we are all still toddlers. When we notice something that fascinates us, we stumble toward it and attempt to interact. After some fun and giggles, we inevitably end up falling on our butts. Shaken, we have to make a quick decision about whether to cry or get back up, and when we’ve moved past that episode, we’ll wander along looking for new adventures.

Happy With Nothing

When you can be happy with nothing, you’ll appreciate everything and find the joy in most anything.

Living La Vida Of A Coder

Despite the fact that I am working on multiple projects with aggressive deadlines (like, um, tomorrow), this past Tuesday my boss asked me to drop everything and work on an emergency code change. It had to be finished that day, because it had to go to UAT on Wednesday morning so it could go into production at the end of the week. I worked until ten o’clock on Tuesday night to complete this requests while continuing to push my other projects forward.

This morning, I received an email from the boss indicating that the change is not going to production this week because another team wasn’t ready with their part. Living la vida of a coder! Does anybody know how to get back a spent Tuesday evening? 

😄

The Only True Failure

Never talk yourself out of trying something because you think that it might not work. Improbable things happen all the time, and other things, things that seemed like a sure bet, falter and fail. 

You never know what will happen until you gather your courage and give something a try. In the worst case scenario when you don’t get the result that you wanted, you can move on and try something else, and you will learn something new and valuable in the process. The only true failure is a failure to act.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Charm

Some people are quite 

Charming when they want something 

Distant when they don’t 

New York Minute 163 - Change

I walked into a coffee shop this afternoon. On the counter near the cash register was a bowl with some one dollar bills in it. Behind the bowl was a small hand-written sign.

“Afraid of change? Leave it here!”

I contributed a buck, a small reward for the staff’s cleverness and entertainment value.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 162 - Caravan

A few weeks ago, I was crossing Broadway at Canal Street on a Sunday. It’s a busy intersection, and it’s particularly chaotic on weekends when people sell a variety of items on the sidewalk.

One cautionary note about this intersection is that the traffic on Canal Street gets a green arrow for left turns when the lights change. Pedestrians need to wait for their own walk signal rather than moving automatically with the traffic. Unfortunately, a young lady who was engrossed in whatever was playing on her phone didn’t pay attention to the walk sign stepped into the intersection and came close to being struck by a UPS truck that was making a left turn.

The lady was okay. She hadn’t wandered far enough into the intersection to be injured (she would have been in danger if she had taken one more step). When I was no longer concerned for her welfare, I noticed some strange details about this situation.

First of all, it was a Sunday. UPS doesn’t deliver on Sundays. 

Secondly, the driver had made a left turn. UPS famously plans their routes to avoid left turns whoever possible. The driver could have gone around the block if he had wanted to adhere to the company’s right-turns-only rule.

Now, here’s the really strange bit. It wasn’t just one truck. At least eight and maybe as many as ten UPS trucks all made the same left turn from Canal Street onto Broadway, one after another in a big brown caravan. They just kept coming, forcing their way through the intersections long after the left turn arrow had switched to red. That wasn’t an issue, because the next thing that I notice was that they had a police escort. Several marked NYPD cars followed the UPS trucks through the intersection.

Once all of the trucks and police cars turned off of Canal Street onto Broadway, pedestrians were finally able to cross the street. It was then that I noticed yet another mysterious detail. The trucks were numbered, and I’m not talking about black serial numbers in the paint job. On the back of each truck was tabled single sheet of white, letter-sized paper. Each sheet had been labeled by hand with a pen.

TRUCK 3

TRUCK 2

TRUCK 1

The last truck in the sequence was TRUCK 0.

So, here it was, a Sunday, and a police-escorted caravan of UPS trucks has just pushed its way through a major intersection making the left turn that UPS trucks famously never make. My mind searched for an explanation. 

At first, I wondered whether the drivers were taking part in a labor protest. But it didn’t make sense that they were being escorted by multiple police cars. 

Next, I considered that they might be involved in a stunt scene for a movie. But there were no production people in sight, nor were there any cameras or lighting equipment.

Finally, it dawned on me that the caravan was heading in the direction of the courthouses and the federal buildings. That’s when one final idea popped into my head. Were these UPS trucks carrying the president’s tax returns?

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

On A Thursday

One day, you’ll call me

On a Thursday, and I will

Know your love again

Last Night In Budapest

Shortly before sunset on my last day in Budapest, I grabbed my camera gear and walked briskly along the banks of the Danube river. I wanted to take a photo of the Parliament building at dusk from across the river. As I walked, I passed grand hotels, dinner barges, and open air restaurants where patrons were warmed by flaming gas heaters. 

I crossed the Chain Bridge, weaving my way through throngs of snap-shooting tourists. I was hurrying, because I needed to get into position before the sky turned dark. One young couple reclined on the railing of the bridge, which left me feeling somewhat. A fall would have been disastrous.

When I reached the Buda side of the river, I continued my walk northward. I noted a number of points where I could take the Parliament building from an interesting angle, but what I really wanted was a straight-on view. Unfortunately, this view is partially obscured by a barge. I took the shot, but I had to shoot over the barge, and therefore had to settle for capturing only part of the building. I then walked to each side of the barge and took shots from slightly oblique angles.

As I walked back toward, I continued taking photos from some of the spots that I had noted earlier. I set my tripod up carefully on the crowded Chain Bridge and took shots of the Parliament Building with the beautifully lit Margaret Bridge in the background. Once I got back over to the Pest side, I took shots of two beautiful structures, Buda Castle and the Fisherman’s Bastion.

I made my way back down a lively pedestrian street, passing the Hard Rock Cafe on the way. I looked at various restaurants and chose one that specialized in Hungarian food. I figured that it was a logical choice for my last night in the country. The food was delicious, and the dining room was filled with the sound of gypsy music played by a quartet of talented musicians. In addition to the violin, viola, and bass, one gentleman played the cimbalo, a small piano-like instrument that is played by hitting the open strings with mallets.

After dinner, I walked the banks of the Danube again, taking in the sights of the beautiful city until nearly midnight.

New York Minute 161 - Untitled

When I stepped onto the subway this morning, it smelled as though someone had taken a dump in the car. I walked toward the other end of the car, but the smell persisted. I glanced around but didn’t see any stray fecal matter on the floor. I suppose that it could have been hiding in one of the far corners.

The odor was nauseating. At the next station, I dashed over to a neighboring car, which smelled normal by subway standards.

I got off at my normal stop. As I was walking the rest of the way to the office, I saw a man walking a large brown dog. The dog had decided to take a dump in the middle of a street. It was a small, quiet street, but one car did come along. The car had to stop and wait for the dog to do its business. The dog seemed to be having some trouble with the process, but the driver waited patiently.

The moral of the story: Some days go to shit, and some days just start that way. 

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

What Makes You Happy

Understand what makes you happy. Avoid wasting time on things that don’t.

Rugged Mountain Trail

Life is like a long trek up a rugged mountain trail. We pass cliff after sheer cliff along the way, teetering on the edge of disaster more frequently than we’d like to admit. In any given moment, we might feel the excitement of daring to pass those treacherous edges and living to tell about it, the fear of not knowing what’s waiting for us around the next bend, sincere gratitude for having travelled this far, or the nagging dread that one day our luck will run out.

The Success Of The European Union

The European Union is an amazing success story. Today, on a continent with a long history of being divided by war, one can drive from country to country as easily as Americans drive from state to state. There are no guards or checkpoints at the borders. You won’t have to show anyone a passport except in extraordinary circumstances. You’ll simply need to stop at a service station and buy a little sticker (called a vignette) that gives you permission to drive on the highways in the country that you have entered. The least expensive version costs about eleven dollars and lets you drive all over the country for ten days. That’s a much better deal than driving on the turnpike.

When you travel from country to country, you’ll be encountering a different culture with its own food, language, customs, and history. 

Some will point out that the EU has had some growing pains over its first two decades. There have been disagreements about the control structure in Brussels and some immigration policies, but that’s to be expected when attempting to combine such a diverse collection of countries into a cohesive group. Happily, the community well very for the most part, and the results have been mostly positive. Goods and services are easier to buy and sell in a common currency. Transportation is easier with open borders. The influx of capital has done wonders for countries with historically weaker economies. 

Another example of a handy side benefit is that all member nations adhere to the same food standards. Menus show common food allergies listed by number. So, if you’re trying to read a menu in the native language of Denmark or Hungary or Lithuania and you need to find all dishes that are gluten free and don’t contain nuts, you just look for items that don’t have the numbers that correspond to those allergies, and you can order with confidence.

Europeans must be bewildered by America’s fixation with an armed, fenced border with a neighboring nation. It has to remind them of the Cold War, a geopolitical state that no one wants to revisit.

Well, almost no one. There are those who would like to weaken the EU, NATO, and similar alliances. A strong, cooperative Europe does not fit into the worldview of despots and dictators. Beware the enemies of freedom. And cast a cautious degree of suspicion toward any country that claims to value freedom but fences in its borders.

6 European Cities That Have To Be Seen To Be Believed

Amsterdam

Amsterdam’s canal system will amaze you, but it won’t happen right away. You’ll walk along some of the canals and cross over them on little bridges, and you’ll be tempted to think, “Oh, is that all there is to it?” Then, when you least expect it, your mind will have a moment of realization. “Wait! Is this actually real?”

Consider that Amsterdam also features the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum, Anne Frank’s house, a world famous red light district, legalized drugs, and a functioning palace with a king, and you’ll realize quickly what a special city it is.

Budapest 

Despite seventy years of military occupation by Soviet Communists and their efforts to destroy the city’s historical landmarks, Budapest retains some of the most beautiful architectural treasures in the world. The parallels to Paris are striking. Buda Castle is like a Louvre sitting on a hill. The white marble Fisherman’s Bastion bears a stylistic resemblance to Sacre-Coeur, and the Hungarian Parliament building is one of the grandest and most ornate structures that I have ever seen. Thank goodness for the end of the Cold War.

Dubrovnik 

The most spectacular walled city in all of Europe rises prominently from the rocky cliffs of Croatia’s Adriatic coastline. 

Stockholm 

At a latitude where some winter night last longer than seventeen hours, the Swedes have opted to counter all of that darkness by painting their buildings in bright, spectacular colors. Seeing Stockholm for the first time is like opening up a big box of crayons and marveling at the rainbow of colors and tones contained within.

Venice 

Small, crumbling, occasionally smelly, overrun by tourists, and irreversibly sinking, Venice may disappoint some visitors. But for anyone with romance in their heart, the magic of Venice everlasting. Venice is a magical place, a fantasy made real with a delicate, haunting beauty that can be fully appreciated only in person. Let’s just hope that someone figures out how to save this precious wonder of human ingenuity.

Paris 

The Grande Dame. The top of the heap. La crème de la crème. The jewel by which all other jewels will be measured. In Paris, the architecture alone will take your breath away. Add in the history, the art, the world famous museums, the perfectly manicured parks, the fabulous food, the modern financial district, the night life, and one extremely romantic river, and it adds up to a city that cannot be described with words. So, I guess this is the point where I should just stop talking. 

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Lazy Immigrants

Do you believe that immigrants are lazy? Why? Why would they leave behind everything that they know and love and risk an uncertain future if they weren’t determined to work hard to succeed in their new land?

Let’s look at it another way. Why can immigrants to your country speak your language, at least to some degree of effectiveness, but you can’t speak theirs well enough to ask directions or order breakfast? While you were binging on television show, they were struggling daily to learn a difficult skill. Who is the lazy person in this scenario?

Let her be free

She’s not your girl anymore 

She’s someone else’s, for sure 

She smiles when he calls 

And laughs at his jokes 

She listens politely 

When they visit his folks 

She’s not your girl anymore 

There’s someone new she adores

She holds his hand 

And kisses his face 

She feels excited 

When they embrace 

She’s not your girl anymore 

Nothing of hers 

Isn’t now his 

You’ll have to get used to this

They even have 

Their own special song - 

So bitterly wrong! 

Has it been that long? 

It’s a song that you like 

When you hear it 

You think of her 

As you told her one night 

She laughed at that 

And promptly replied 

“Oh, that’s my song 

With HIM!” 

And you nearly died 

But let’s face it... 

Let’s act like a man! 

Nothing bothers us... 

Right? 

She’s not your girl anymore 

She’s someone else’s amour 

She packs his lunch 

And launders his socks 

Gives him her body 

And sucks his cock 

And you have to be okay with that 

You need to be able to deal with that 

You’ve got to let it go 

You have to let this all go 

She is not your girl anymore 

You have to let her go

Let her see 

Who she wants to see 

Let her be 

Who she needs to be 

Let her be 

Let her be free 

Let her be 

Let her be free 

Honor her 

And the love that you feel 

With one last gift 

Of gallantry 

Let her be 

Let her be free 

Let her be 

Let her be free 

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Your List

You read me a list 

Of all the things I did wrong 

I didn’t list yours

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

All That’s Gone Badly

All that’s gone badly 

Flows through the bowels of the past 

Leave that shit alone

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Vow

Too many times, Love, 

I have had my heart broken 

I will not break yours 

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Real Life Rain

This is real life 

It rains sometimes 

The Kurds

The Kurdish people are long-standing allies of the US. Kurdish fighters have fought and bled side by side with American troops for decades.

The Islamist leadership of Turkey wants to wipe out the Kurds. Donald Trump just gave them the green light to do so.

If you voted for Trump in 2016, the blood of the Kurds is on your hands. If you failed to vote, or it you voted for a candidate other than Clinton, the blood of the Kurds is on your hands. If you thought that 2016 was a good time to teach the Democratic Party a lesson, the blood of the Kurds is on your hands. 

Your action, or your inaction, put a callous, self-serving, rage-filled man in charge of the world’s most powerful military. The consequences of your choice are now morbidly clear. You should have figured this out three years ago, but you didn’t, and now people are dying. Innocent people. Heroic people. People who have risked everything to stand up to evil regimes and support the objectives of the United States of America. They’re dying.

Random Thoughts - 20191003

Random Thoughts - 20191003

I’m making a plan for next year. I call it my 2020 vision.

Never look back. It’s a pain in the neck.

Shaving gel looks a lot like clear toothpaste, but they taste different.

When someone gives you the cold shoulder, think of the time that you’re saving.

Accept what you can’t control. Control what you can’t accept.

When you get right down to it, that’s what it comes down to.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Faults

The big, heavy man

Has my heart’s sympathy 

He carries his weakness  

Where others can see 

While hidden inside 

Many sleek slender men 

Lurk faults more malignant 

By factors of ten 

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

The Wrong Impression

Why do people so often get the wrong impression? They think I’m aloof when I’m really just shy. They think I’m mean because I have a dry sense of humor. They think I’m arrogant because ... I’m arrogant. What’s wrong with people?

Need To Succeed

We need success. The road to realizing a dream is long and frustrating. The one big win that we imagine celebrating at the end is not going to keep us focused and motivated indefinitely. We’ll succumb to boredom and burn out long before we reach our eventual goal.

We need to experience victories along the way, daily, weekly, even hourly accomplishments. Regardless of how small a task is, if it moves us in the direction of the grand prize, we should acknowledge and celebrate its completion. 

Break your work into small tasks. Every time you complete a task, recognize it as an important, positive outcome, a step forward. You are succeeding on the way to greater success. Keep going and keep celebrating along the way.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or stuck at any time, break your tasks down even further. Reduce what you need to do to its most essential components. Work on one thing at a time and reward yourself when you finish it. Feed your need to succeed with small but meaningful victories. Stay motivated by having fun and acknowledging all of your hard work.