Big Slimy, Sticky Mess

After arriving at the office this morning and settling in, I walked to a nearby coffee shop and ordered a latte and a breakfast sandwich with bacon and egg on a gluten-free English muffin (amazing invention!). I came back up stairs and read some emails before taking my coffee and sandwich over to the seating area in the pantry.

It’s a good thing that I didn’t try to eat my breakfast at the desk, because on the fourth bite, the liquid egg yolk exploded and splashed all over my hand and the table top. Thankfully, it missed my shirt sleeve, but my hand was a big slimy, sticky mess. 

Using every napkin that I had brought to the table, I did my best to wipe up and contain the mess on my hand, then I walked toward the sink carrying a big wad of sticky paper. Just as I was about to reach the sink, some guy jumped in front of me to wash his spoon in meticulous, unhurried fashion. His f-ing spoon!

Thanks a lot, pal!

When he finished, the guy turned and shot me a nasty look as if to say, “What are you doing standing behind me?” The world is full of clueless, self-absorbed morons.

I peeled the glob of napkins, which now resembled half-set paper maché, away from my slimy, sticky hand and washed thoroughly with dishwashing liquid (all that was available) before going back to clean up the mess on the table. What a way to begin the work day!