Monday, December 23, 2024
What's On The Menu?
Tuesday, April 5, 2022
Wednesday, November 24, 2021
Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone once wrote: “Never stick a banana in the toaster. Put bread in the toaster and use the toasted bread to warm the banana.”
Actually, no one ever said that. I just made it up, but it sounds reasonable, and it works on many levels.
Happy Thanksgiving from New York City!
Tuesday, August 31, 2021
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
Sunday, March 28, 2021
Just Get The App
This is what happens when you use antiquated voice technology to order lunch:
- Could I please have a bison burger?
- What kind of bison burger would you like, sir?
- Um, one that’s made from bison?
Just get the app...
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Dietary Decisions
I have always had a sensitive digestive system. At one point in my life, I used to consume two bottles of Pepto-Bismol every three days in order to manage uncomfortable systems. The floor of my car was littered with empty pink bottles.
I discovered through trial and error that onions were causing the problem. I tried eliminating certain foods from my diet, and when I got to onions, my stomach settled down. I now do my best to avoid them.
I still need to manage my diet carefully. It doesn’t take much to send my stomach into a frenzy.
A few months ago, I started having chronic issue again. There were days when I had to cancel planned outdoor activities because I didn’t want to stray too far from a bathroom.
I began to eliminate certain foods from my diet again, hoping that sooner or later, I would figure out what was triggering the problem.
First, I stopped eating potato chips. Chips are one of my guilty pleasures, but I know that they’re not good for me.
Next, I cut out all nuts and peanuts. Nuts can cause inflammation in the gut, so this seemed like a good strategy.
Eventually, I stopped eating most snacks, including the blue corn chips that I love.
Unfortunately, none of these changes had any impact. I was still feeling terrible. I considered taking a break from dairy, but I haven’t been able to find a substitute that works for me. I wondered whether I might need to change the filter in my water purifier; perhaps some bacteria had collected inside.
I was reaching a point of frustration, because I wasn’t sure what to try next. I fasted a few times, and despite feeling hungry, elimination of all food helped my stomach to settle down. Clearly, something I was still eating was causing the problem.
I sat down to watch television one evening and snacked on a bag of gluten-free pretzels. I switched to a gluten-free diet four years ago, and it was exciting to have a snack that I could still enjoy. When I stopped eating chips, I compensated by eating more of these pretzels.
After about five minutes later, I suddenly felt nauseous. That was it! The pretzels were bothering me. I have no idea what they put in the recipe that causes me problems, but something sure did. I stopped eating them immediately; a day later, I felt much better.
A lot of the health problems that we face come from things that we do willfully to ourselves, what we eat, what we drink, what we smoke, how much activity we undertake. We don’t realize the damage that some products do to us, because they seem benign, we have no reason to suspect otherwise.
Many foods we eat out of habit. We eat what our families have always eaten. We go to lunch with our colleagues and order the same type of dishes. It might not dawn on us that we might be sensitive to something that doesn’t bother anyone else.
When we consciously evaluate what we eat and how it makes us feel, we can avoid or mitigate serious health problems such as obesity, allergies, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, even cancer in some instance. Everything that we consume impacts how we feel, whether we think about it or not.
Wednesday, August 12, 2020
Thanks For Lunch
Thank you for the lunch
I guess you had a hunch
That I needed to munch
So thanks a bunch
For the brunch
Now let’s go have some punch
Friday, July 3, 2020
Almond Milk Latte
I tried almond milk in my latte. It was like drinking coffee-flavored cake batter. I can’t get the grainy texture out of my mouth.
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Saturday, May 16, 2020
The Art And The Artist
The artist puts some part of themselves into every work that they create, which is why proctologists should not moonlight as pastry chefs.
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
The Secrets Of Eggnog
If you unscramble the letters in Eggnog, you get Gongeg which is probably Welsh for “drink this foul, revolting sludge and like it, you bloody poof!”
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Cheese
It dawned on me last evening that a number of popular Italian cheeses have feminine names:
Mozzarella
Parmigiana
Ricotta
Fontina
Gorgonzola
This seems odd given the cheese is a masculine noun in the Italian language:
Il formaggio
To make is more confusing, there are Italian cheeses with masculine names as well:
Asiago
Pecorino
Stracchino
Bitto
Crucolo
Taleggio
And a few that are difficult to classify:
Provolone
Mascarpone
So, in conclusion...
Maybe I’d better
Shred some more Cheddar
‘Cause I don’t know Jack
About cheese
Monday, December 9, 2019
Holiday Dining
This holiday season, be sure to enjoy the four food groups: chocolate, coffee, wine, and bacon.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Your Vegetarian Choice
A vegetarian diet is not an accomplishment. It’s a personal choice, like the brand of toilet paper that you buy to wipe up your seedy vegan poo-poo. No one wants to hear about it. Talk about something else. Please.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Working Lunch
This is another one of those stories that sounds like I made it up, but I swear on a stack of thick, juicy hamburgers and sweet potato fries that it’s all true.
Starting at about noon today, I worked on a critical operation that kept me stuck at my desk for two hours. I couldn’t walk away. The building held a fire drill on my floor during this period - see, I told you it would sound as though I made it up - but I had to refuse to attend. I needed to stay at my desk and focus on what I was doing.
Shortly after this bit of uninterruptible work began, the young lady sitting next to me went to the pantry to heat up her lunch in the microwave. Instead of eating in the pantry area like a good corporate citizen, she instead chose to return to her desk and eat her lunch just a few feet away from me.
What did this thoughtful person have for lunch today. Some extremely smelly fish, rendered more pungent by the microwave process.
Keep in mind that I was stuck there. I could not walk away, even for a fire drill. I swear that she at that fish as slowly as possible just to bug the crap out of me.
Good grief, are manners completely lost on some people? I wanted to throw up, it smelled so bad. But I had to keep working. Thank you, fish lady, for turning my stomach with your outrageously selfish workplace conduct.
Chickpeas
I prepared a light dinner for myself the other night. By the time I got home from work and went for a run, it was nine-thirty. I didn’t want to eat a heavy meal at that hour.
There was some rice in the refrigerator. I served myself a plate of rice and opened a can of chickpeas to add some flavor. I heated this simple concoction in the microwave and enjoyed it as I caught up on the news.
The next morning, I was upset with myself when I realized that I had forgotten to refrigerate the left-over chickpeas. I had eaten about two-thirds of the can with my rice, but there was still a substantial amount of food in the open can. I was rushing to get to work, so I covered the can with plastic wrap and set it in the fridge. I thought about throwing them out, but I figured that I could make that decision later.
When I got home from work, my first impulse was to thrown the can of chickpeas in the trash. I wasn’t sure that they would be good after sitting out on the counter all night. But as I thought about it, I felt bad about wasting food. I got the can out of the fridge and out the peas on a plate with some the rice and some other vegetables. That was last night’s dinner; I haven’t experienced any digestive issues today, so I guess that the chickpeas were fine.
I know that this isn’t the most exciting story, but it’s a true story, and there’s something about it that I would like you to consider. All I am saying is give peas a chance.
Good News And Bad News In The Pantry
I have good news and bad news. When I arrived at the office this morning, I found a mousetrap in the pantry where I sometimes have my breakfast. The building staff must have left it out overnight - I have see traps out on weekend before - but apparently, no one remembered to take it away before business hours.
The good news is that that bait wasn’t taken. A smooth ball of peanut butter was sitting on the trap with no signs of having been nibbled. Mice love peanut butter. The fact that the trap was left undisturbed gives a measure of confidence that the place isn’t crawling with rodents.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Big Slimy, Sticky Mess
After arriving at the office this morning and settling in, I walked to a nearby coffee shop and ordered a latte and a breakfast sandwich with bacon and egg on a gluten-free English muffin (amazing invention!). I came back up stairs and read some emails before taking my coffee and sandwich over to the seating area in the pantry.
It’s a good thing that I didn’t try to eat my breakfast at the desk, because on the fourth bite, the liquid egg yolk exploded and splashed all over my hand and the table top. Thankfully, it missed my shirt sleeve, but my hand was a big slimy, sticky mess.
Using every napkin that I had brought to the table, I did my best to wipe up and contain the mess on my hand, then I walked toward the sink carrying a big wad of sticky paper. Just as I was about to reach the sink, some guy jumped in front of me to wash his spoon in meticulous, unhurried fashion. His f-ing spoon!
Thanks a lot, pal!
When he finished, the guy turned and shot me a nasty look as if to say, “What are you doing standing behind me?” The world is full of clueless, self-absorbed morons.
I peeled the glob of napkins, which now resembled half-set paper maché, away from my slimy, sticky hand and washed thoroughly with dishwashing liquid (all that was available) before going back to clean up the mess on the table. What a way to begin the work day!
Saturday, January 5, 2019
American Corporate Diet
Sugar-frosted flakes
Corp’rate food and marketing
Obesity makes
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