Why I Quit Drinking

I quit drinking

In part

Because it makes me pee

I makes me pee a lot

And once I get started

I have to go

Frequently

One night

When I was drinking

With my friends

They took me

To your house

And they made me pee

On your car

They peed, too

I wasn't just me

We all peed on your car 

But I'm pretty sure

That I peed the most

I remember them finishing

And then remarking

How long

I peed on your car

Anyway

Clearly those guys

Didn't like you

So we all lined up

And peed on your car

And because we were drinking

We peed a lot

I peed a whole lot

I thought my bladder

Was going to explode

But they told me

No

I had to wait

They were going to take me

To your car 

And I had to pee on it

Anyway

That's not why

I quit drinking

I didn't feel bad

For peeing on your car 

They wanted me

To do it

It seemed to mean

A lot to them 

And I thought

It was kind of funny

I didn't know you

But you seemed like a jerk

By all accounts

So it made sense

That they wanted me

To pee

On your car

I was okay with it

No

I stopped drinking

Months later

For reasons

That I won't go into here

But I did stop drinking

Eventually

And I did pee on your car

Although only one time

And it felt good

It felt really good

Because I really had to go

I mean

I was seeing stars

I had to go so bad

So I'm glad

They finally

Let me pee

When we got

To your car 

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