I'm trying to think of something positive to do today that I'll want to do for another 364 days in a row. I'll let you know if I come up with anything.
Thursday, January 1, 2026
Wednesday, December 31, 2025
Farewell 2025
In 2024, I took a bold step toward furthering my education. As 2025 draws to a close, I'm exactly halfway through the program.
The challenges have been significant but so have the rewards. The experience has given me a new perspective on how I spend my time and what I can accomplish when I work really hard.
I'm eagerly looking ahead toward taking more classes and, if I'm blessed to live that long, graduating and putting this knowledge to use in my career.
Our lives exist in a larger context, however, and the backdrop to these small successes has been even more challenging.
For the first time in my long life, the biggest threat to my country comes not from foreign adversaries but from our own leadership. They like gluttonous termites gobbling up everything for their own enrichment while weakening the very structures that have supported and protected us for so long. There's no safe harbor, no institution they won't dismantle, no rule that they won't break if doing so serves their own interests.
We have raised a desperate plea for help from Pest Control, but unfortunately, their first available appointment is three years away. It's hard to imagine what will be left if the termites keep munching unchecked for three more years.
We live in dangerous times. Wars rage on. Research has been defunded. Corruption has been embraced as official policy. Disease prevention and climate protection have been derailed by special interests. Investors have done well as democracy crumbles, but how long will it be before that bubble bursts?
It's hard to be optimistic, but we have to keep going. We have to keep fighting and hoping that our efforts will be enough to get things back on track. When our personal ambitions are subject to the whims of a corrupt and malicious government, we have no freedom at all.
Crossings
I crossed the river
The raging water
I crossed that river
For you
I looked out over
The perilous current
And grappled with
What I should do
I crossed again
Though fear remained
I focused
And found
My way through
I crossed that river
Over and over
Always
To be with you
© 2025 Daniel South
All Rights Reserved
Monday, December 29, 2025
Why I Quit Drinking
I quit drinking
In part
Because it makes me pee
I makes me pee a lot
And once I get started
I have to go
Frequently
One night
When I was drinking
With my friends
They took me
To your house
And they made me pee
On your car
They peed, too
I wasn't just me
We all peed on your car
But I'm pretty sure
That I peed the most
I remember them finishing
And then remarking
How long
I peed on your car
Anyway
Clearly those guys
Didn't like you
So we all lined up
And peed on your car
And because we were drinking
We peed a lot
I peed a whole lot
I thought my bladder
Was going to explode
But they told me
No
I had to wait
They were going to take me
To your car
And I had to pee on it
Anyway
That's not why
I quit drinking
I didn't feel bad
For peeing on your car
They wanted me
To do it
It seemed to mean
A lot to them
And I thought
It was kind of funny
I didn't know you
But you seemed like a jerk
By all accounts
So it made sense
That they wanted me
To pee
On your car
I was okay with it
No
I stopped drinking
Months later
For reasons
That I won't go into here
But I did stop drinking
Eventually
And I did pee on your car
Although only one time
And it felt good
It felt really good
Because I really had to go
I mean
I was seeing stars
I had to go so bad
So I'm glad
They finally
Let me pee
When we got
To your car
© 2025 Daniel R. South
All Rights Reserved
Holiday Humor - 2025
Holiday Humor - 2025
What did the grumpy pine tree say when he was planted next to a maple tree?
Leaf me alone!
What did the pine tree say when the bigger pine trees teased him?
Stop needling me!
How does a wreath say goodbye to his wreath friends?
See you around!
Rudolph read Santa's mail. This made Santa angry. What did he say?
Stop being so nosy!
What do you call the friend who insists that you sing Christmas songs together?
Carol.
What do you call the friend who insists on decorating early?
Holly.
Why does Santa prefer milk and cookies?
Because eggnog and fruitcake taste terrible.
How did the dog try to alert his family that Santa Claus had arrived?
Roof! Roof!
Why does Santa come down the chimney?
To get past the doorman.
Who is in charge of decorating the Christmas tree?
The branch manager.
Why didn't Scrooge ever see the spirits again?
They ghosted him.
Why is the Grinch green?
He ate the fruitcake.
© 2025 South of Someplace
A Brief History of The Files
A Brief History of The Files
January: We're releasing the files!
March: Tell the FBI to drop what they're doing and review the files.
April: Oh, cr*p!
May: We've reviewed ALL of the files. There's nothing to see here.
September: We're not going to let you force us to release the files. Hey, Mike, cancel Congress, please!
November: Okay, we would release the files, but there are so many. We have to review them. (You said you did that already.)
December: Oops! We just found a million new files! We'll need time to review those files, too. (What happened to "we've reviewed all of the files?")
Tuesday, December 2, 2025
The Difference Between Dating and Marriage - A Guide for Men
The Difference Between Dating and Marriage
DATING
She doesn’t want you to fix the problem.
She wants you to understand how the problem makes her feel.
She wants you to empathize with what she’s going through.
She wants to know that she can count on your emotional support while she works through this.
MARRIAGE
She wants you to fix the problem.
She’s been asking you for months, and you still haven’t fixed it.
“We’re not going to hire someone. It’s a waste of money. You need to fix it.”
“I should have married Frank,” she thinks to herself. “He would have had it fixed by now.”
“Maybe I should call Frank.”
She doesn’t want you to fix the problem.
She wants you to understand how the problem makes her feel.
She wants you to empathize with what she’s going through.
She wants to know that she can count on your emotional support while she works through this.
MARRIAGE
She wants you to fix the problem.
She’s been asking you for months, and you still haven’t fixed it.
“We’re not going to hire someone. It’s a waste of money. You need to fix it.”
“I should have married Frank,” she thinks to herself. “He would have had it fixed by now.”
“Maybe I should call Frank.”
Waiting for Godot - An Interpretation
Lucky represents the working class, the proletariat. Restricted by his oppressive employer, he remains mostly silent, but when he’s unshackled and permitted to speak, he is thoughtful and perplexingly eloquent.
Pozzo represents the bourgeoisie, the capitalists, the business owners, politicians, those with wealth and influence. He’s a larger than life figure, loud, arrogant, and pompous. He’s vain and openly seeks compliments.
Pozzo justifies his chronic mistreatment of Lucky, believing that Lucky is better off despite the harsh terms of his decades long employment. Pozzo has no respect for Lucky and no sympathy. He views his servant primarily as an asset, a commodity. He muses about “getting a good price for him” at “the market”.
Vladimir and Estragon represent us as we grapple with life’s macro decisions. What should we do? Where should we go? Should we part or stay together? Should we give up or keep going? What is there to live for?
When asked where he’s been, Estragon, who represents a subtly feminine perspective, explains that he slept in a ditch - perhaps a metaphor for “the gutter” - where he is assaulted by numerous attackers. Vladimir, who represents the masculine perspective, says, “I could have protected you.”
“No you couldn’t,” argues Estragon. “There were ten of them.”
“I could have stopped you from doing what you did,” Vladimir argues, perhaps hinting at Estragon engaging in flirtation or prostitution, or simply putting himself in a bad situation.
“I think we would be better off if we went our separate ways,” argues Estragon.
“You always say that,” Vladimir counters, “and then you come crawling back.”
Vladimir and Estragon are bewildered when Pozzo and Lucky arrive. They’re dazzled by Pozzo’s swagger and shocked by his cruelty toward Lucky. When Pozzo seems high and mighty, Estragon begs him for ten francs. Later, when misfortune befalls Pozzo and his status is reduced, Estragon won’t lift a finger to help him for less than two-hundred francs.
The name Pozzo is an interesting choice. Does it represent possibilities, i.e. entrepreneurship? Is he a poseur, one who seeks to influence others with charm and bravado? Pozzo’s eventual downfall is sudden and precipitous, yet we feel no empathy for him, only a shred of pity.
The final character to appear, the boy, represents hope and a reassuring innocence. Things may not have worked out today, but surely they will tomorrow.
Vladimir and Estragon, frustrated by the news that the boy brings, nevertheless take solace in the promise of a better tomorrow.
“Waiting for Godot,” starring Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves, is playing at the Hudson Theater in New York City.
Good Deeds, New York Style
Last week, I did a good deed, or at least part of a good deed.
As I was walking to catch a subway, a small, middle-aged lady approached me and asked where she could catch the PATH train. PATH is a rail system that connects Manhattan with nearby cities in New Jersey. Gesturing forward, I told her that the station was close by, across the next street.
We both began walking in that direction, not together, but we were both going the same way. I could hear the sound of her suitcase rolling along the sidewalk. The suitcase was fairly large.
When we reached the intersection, I pointed across the street. "Just go down those stairs."
The lady asked whether the station had an elevator; I admitted that I didn't know. I asked her if she needed help, but she said that the suitcase was heavy and suggested that we might be able carry it down the stairs together.
Once we'd crossed the street, I asked again if she'd like me to carry her suitcase downstairs. Again, she thanked me but stressed that it was heavy. I reached over and picked it up; it wasn't that bad, bulky but not very heavy.
I carried the suitcase down three flights of stairs. The lady thanked me and asked me how to buy tickets for the train. I motioned to a series of self-service machines but explained that I wasn't familiar with how they work. On the rare occasions when I took the PATH, I used the MetroCard that we used for the subways. I'm not sure that option is still available, as the MetroCard has been discontinued, but I digress.
The lady thanked me again, and I wished her a safe journey before heading to catch the subway. In retrospect, I feel bad that I didn't help her with the ticket machines.
As I was walking to catch a subway, a small, middle-aged lady approached me and asked where she could catch the PATH train. PATH is a rail system that connects Manhattan with nearby cities in New Jersey. Gesturing forward, I told her that the station was close by, across the next street.
We both began walking in that direction, not together, but we were both going the same way. I could hear the sound of her suitcase rolling along the sidewalk. The suitcase was fairly large.
When we reached the intersection, I pointed across the street. "Just go down those stairs."
The lady asked whether the station had an elevator; I admitted that I didn't know. I asked her if she needed help, but she said that the suitcase was heavy and suggested that we might be able carry it down the stairs together.
Once we'd crossed the street, I asked again if she'd like me to carry her suitcase downstairs. Again, she thanked me but stressed that it was heavy. I reached over and picked it up; it wasn't that bad, bulky but not very heavy.
I carried the suitcase down three flights of stairs. The lady thanked me and asked me how to buy tickets for the train. I motioned to a series of self-service machines but explained that I wasn't familiar with how they work. On the rare occasions when I took the PATH, I used the MetroCard that we used for the subways. I'm not sure that option is still available, as the MetroCard has been discontinued, but I digress.
The lady thanked me again, and I wished her a safe journey before heading to catch the subway. In retrospect, I feel bad that I didn't help her with the ticket machines.
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