Advice From An Old Farmer

I had a flashback to a memory from my early teens. My Mom and I had driven to a local farm to buy some hay. Mom had a few horses in those days; we were constantly buying hay to keep up with their healthy appetites.

After we loaded the hay into our pickup truck, the farmer chatted with Mom for a few minutes, and then he turned to me. He said that he wanted to offer me some advice.

I remember the moment clearly because it was so unusual. The farmer wasn’t a big man. He was no taller than I was at the time, and I wasn’t fully grown. He had a kind, round face and twinkling eyes. He was balding, and the hair that he did have was cut quite short. He wore blue jean overalls as most men of his profession did in those days. He was about fifty, but to me he seemed ancient. One of his teeth was out of line with the rest.

“You’re going to reach a point where you’ll have to decide whether to be a boy or a man. My advice to you is to stay a boy for as long as you can.”

“Okay, I’ll try,” I said awkwardly. I really didn’t understand what he meant, but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful by asking him to clarify.

I thought about his words quite often in the coming years and months. The whole incident seemed so surprising; I really didn’t know what to make of it.

The farmer’s words seemed to suggest that I continue to cherish the things that I had held dear as a child: games, toys, light-hearted entertainment, and joyful family interactions. I didn’t feel that advice was particularly valuable given that I’m already a sentimental person. I try to stay in touch with my past and appreciate the most innocent of pleasures.

Thinking back on his words all these years later, now that I am older than the farmer was when he offered his advice, I believe that I finally understand what he was trying to tell me.

“Before you take on responsibilities that will determine your future, before you make commitments that will limit what you can do and where you can go, see the world and sample what it has to offer.

“You’re only young once. Enjoy the freedom that youth affords. Go places. Try things. Take risks and have adventures. If you don’t, if you skip this important time in your life, you’ll regret missing out on those pleasures and those adventures. If you make big decisions before you understand all of what life has to offer, you might end up in a place where you really don’t want to be.”

Copyright © 2020 Daniel R. South

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