Parking Lot Memories

I enjoyed a nice dinner with my friends in the suburbs earlier this week. One of them was kind enough to pick me up at the train station where I used to park while I was commuting. 

The town has undergone dramatic changes over the last few years. I was quite surprised; I barely recognized the place.

The big parking lot where I used to park every morning is gone. A bunch of high-rise apartment buildings occupy the space now. As my friend and I drove past, I reminisced about the crazy adventure that I’ve had on that lot over the years. 

One time, I came back from a trip in the aftermath of a big snowstorm. My car was accessible, but the cars parked along the side of the lot were buried to the roof by the snowplows. The storm dropped a lot of heavy, wet snow, but the plows compressed it and gave it a hard, concrete-like texture. 

This one poor guy was having a terrible time trying to get his car out the temporary igloo that the town had built for him. I worked with another passerby to help dig the guy out. Between the three of us, we had only one small shovel, so we spent a while digging and moving the brick-like snow by hand. Then we had to push the car with all of our might, as the guy made several attempts to get to get out of the space.

Another time, while I was vacationing in California, I heard that the East Coast was going to be hit by a late-season blizzard. I remembered what had happened to the guy whose car was buried by the plows. I didn’t want to come back to an ice-bound car, so I called the parking authority and ask them if anyone knew a neighborhood kid who would shovel me out out for fifty bucks. They said that there was a guy who would do it, so I made arrangements to pay for the shoveling service when I got back. 

I guess the guy shoveled my car out, but I couldn’t verify it, because this was April. The weather had change by the time I got back, and all of the snow had melted. I still paid the guy fifty bucks. A deal is a deal. It was worth it to have the peace of mind that I would actually be able to get home when I needed to.

The most bizarre incident of all was coming back one evening and finding that my car had been hit by another vehicle. This wasn’t just a fender bender. It was a major collision. Somehow, they managed to hit the side of my car with enough force to knock it most of the way into the next parking space. 

The car took a lot of damage. The doors on the driver’s were destroyed. One of the front axles was broken as were several windows and lights. I thought the cars was totalled, but the insurance company decided that it would cost less to fix it than replace it.

To this day, I have trouble imagining the circumstances that led to that collision. It’s hard to picture another vehicle hitting my car from that angle in the location where it was parked. It wasn’t parked near an entrance. They couldn’t have driven straight in from the street. They would have had to have made a turn or two, and they would have had less than a hundred feet to accelerate. 

Yet apparently, that’s what they did. It seems as though it must have been a deliberate act. I have no idea why anyone would want to hit my Honda. Maybe my car happened to look like someone else’s. Maybe it was just a case of mistaken i-DENT-ity.

No Regrets

I’ve no regrets 

For falling in love 

For leading with my heart 

For sharing all I have 

I’ve no regrets 

For falling for you 

For spending every minute 

On things we needed to do 

I’ve no regrets 

For being open like this 

Sharing intimate thoughts 

For daring to kiss 

I’ve no regrets 

For holding you tight 

For kissing you sweetly 

For loving all night 

I’ve no regrets 

For speaking the truth 

For showing respect 

And honoring you 

I’ve no regrets 

For trusting you fully 

For becoming attached 

And hanging on dearly 

I’ve no regrets 

For the connection we shared 

For the glorious magic 

In the ways we were paired 

No, I’ve no regrets 

Because it doesn’t make sense  

To mourn love given freely 

No matter how it ends 

You came to me 

A beautiful heart 

Searching for hope  

And a fresh, loving start 

I let you in 

With wide open eyes 

No fear or reluctance  

In my clear, tranquil mind 

And once you were with me 

You touched all my soul 

Delving deep into places 

Where no one else goes 

I shared myself freely 

With no hint of concern 

I never once questioned 

That this was our turn 

I welcomed our moment 

With reverence and calm 

Thrilled with the connection 

That I found in your arms 

No, I’ve no regrets 

For this pure, splendid love 

I lived every moment 

For all I could give 

To you, I’ll be grateful 

Forever for love 

And I’ll treasure our moments 

For as long as I live 

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Thoughtless Drivers In Holiday Traffic

Driving back home on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, TC (travel companion) and I got stuck in a large pocket of slow-moving traffic on the highway. The slowdown was caused by a slow-moving driver in the left lane who refused to move to the right. This guy rode alongside another slow driver in the right lane for several minutes, effectively damming all traffic behind them.

The backup began to clear when the right-lane slowpoke moved left to get past an even slower driver. Motorists eager to get ahead used the resulting gap to pass the obstinate left-lane clogger who, as far as we could see, never yielded his lane.

As we made our way up to the offending motorist, TC remarked that the guy had caused a huge backup with his uncooperative, self-centered behavior. TC, it should be noted, has little interest in politics and avoids political discussions whenever she can. So, I was a bit surprised when she noticed that the guy’s Nissan Sentra displayed a Trump Pence bumper sticker, remarking in frustration: 

“Of course, he’s a Trump supporter!” 

I was so proud!

Later, as we inched our way through a 90-minute inbound delay at the George Washington Bridge - Chris Christie, are you back? - a guy in a pickup truck forced his was in front of us aggressively. TC noticed that the truck had a Trump bumper sticker.

“Why is it always these Trump supporters?” TC demanded angrily.

I have never been so proud!

Railroad Restroom

standing 

in the restroom 

of a stopping and starting 

new jersey transit train 

or what they might consider a restroom 

in the trade 

a filthy, smelly, corroded

metal box 

infrequently-serviced 

with a few scraps of toilet paper 

hanging from one broken metal holder 

anyway 

I’m standing there 

doing what I need to do 

thankful 

that there’s actually a place to do it 

when 

the train lurches forward 

and throws me back 

several feet 

then it screeches to a halt 

and hurls me forward 

into a wall 

now 

I’m feeling pissed 

no pun intended 

but I digress 

and there’s a bit of a mess 

but 

I’m glad at least 

that I didn’t 

break my neck 

or pee on my pant leg 

while being tossed around 

but 

how is any of this my fault? 

those drops on the floor 

are they really my fault? 

after all of that thrashing 

and banging 

I’m lucky to still have my balls 

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 121 - Boarding The Train

Picture the large, open room in Penn Station New York packed with anxious pre-holiday travelers. Hundreds of them are huddled together into a tightly-packed swarm at the top of one of the staircases that leads down to the track level. 

One of the AMTRAK gate agents calls out in a booming voice: “Put your phones DOWN. Look UP. That way you’ll know that you’re on the RIGHT TRAIN.”

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Pittsburghese Fur Ahduh Tahnerz - Level 1

Pittsburghese Fur Ahduh Tahnerz - Level 1

Some people er jist jagoffs. They dohn know their ass frum a hole in the ground. Not much yuh kin do uhbah dit. Yinz know what um talkin’ uhbaht. Mahz well jist go aht n drink some bearz, maybe watch the Stillerz, n have uh good tahm. 

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Sweetest Needs

Two large hands caress a white lace bra 

She feels his warmth and shirtless strength behind her 

Gentle kisses in her hair 

Soft breath against the neck 

The scent of his body fills the room 

With tantalizing urgency 

Unhurried 

And without words 

He takes what he wants 

And fulfills her sweetest needs 

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

The Importance Of Sadness

Sadness is not a disease. It is not a hazard to avoid at all costs. It is a normal, healthy response to difficult or disappointing situations. 

Sadness occupies an important place in the spectrum of human emotion. It adds depth and clarity to life. If our sadness were not profound, our joy would have no context. Life would be flat. Our triumphs would seem less impressive. It’s difficult to appreciate the full delight and value of a pleasant experience without a baseline of less fortunate events. 

Sadness makes its way into everyone’s life. Instead of cursing it when it arrives, or worse, pretending that it isn’t really happening, try to view your sadness differently. See it as the deep, powerful foundation of your emotional being, the dundgeon beneath a soaring, majestic tower that reaches high into the clouds. Recall in as much detail as you can all of the times when you wandered those lofty heights, joyfully and effortlessly. Realize how grateful you will feel when you return to them once again. 

Because you will return. Sadness is unpleasant, and grief is bitter and overwhelming, but they won’t cling to you forever. They are temporary states. Over time, they will lose their power, and you will rise once again through the most joyous and comforting levels of life. 

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Some Really Bad Advice

Of all of the bad advice that I have heard over the years, the absolute worst has to be to “take the bull by the horns.” Don’t do this! Seriously, don’t try it, ever! Don’t even think about it! It will end horribly.

A Series Of Days

Your life can be a series of days or a series of adventures. Choose wisely. You get one chance. 

Being Supportive In The Face Of Bad Customer Service

I have noticed as of late that I have a bad habit of rolling my eyes and walking away without comment when I receive bad customer service. I have come to the realization this is impolite, and I hereby resolve to take positive steps to correct that behavior. Just because my needs have not been met does not give me license to be rude. 

Service people work hard, and they deserve respect regardless of circumstances. I pledge to heretofore handle these awkward situations in a more supportive manner by being the bigger person and always having something positive to say.

For example: “Oh, how interesting it is that your coffee shop does not serve coffee a certain hours of the day, as in the hour before closing time! What an innovative and forward-thinking idea! I’m surprised that more coffee shops have not caught on to this trend. It seems as though it would afford them an opportunity to attract clients that want to go out of their way to not get a coffee. I can see how that might have a direct impact on sales, don’t you? Yes, how fascinating! Indeed!”

Random Thoughts - 20181123

Burgundy is the color of a specific wine from a specific region of France, but I suspect that other wines are using that color without permission.

If Australia is a land down under, is Canada a land up over?

People sometimes use the term ‘boatload’ to describe a large amount of something, as in “a boatload of money.” But haven’t we all seen tiny boats?

I’m not a big proponent of the word ‘proponent’.

The phrase “rock and roll” started out as a euphemism for sex. I have never understood the “rolling” part of that analogy.

A love triangle is a volatile and potentially troublesome arrangement. It’s unstable, because it’s perpetually out of balance. Theoretically, a love parallelogram would be a more stable and sustainable construct, wherein no one has to spend lonely nights wondering about their significance.

People who conflate sex with dancing aren’t doing either one properly.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

THE LATE NOVEMBER SUN

THE LATE NOVEMBER SUN

I was three-and-a-half years to the day 

When a madman shot down JFK 

And wiped our hopes and dreams away 

With the trigger of a gun.

The world stopped as he lay in state, 

A nation wept beneath the weight 

Of loss we estimate in terms 

Of what might have been to come: 

A leader and a President, 

Democracy’s embodiment, 

Uncommon friend of common men 

Who fought for every one.

A statesmen and an officer 

With words of courage to inspire 

A nation to ask itself “What more?” 

And dream of touching the moon. 

I still remember how it changed 

Like a book with pages rearranged 

And thrown together senselessly 

Just after Chapter One. 

A nation fractured lost its way, 

Fragmented, and began to stray 

Into a state of disarray 

With violent protests every day 

Those harsh divisions persist today 

And cannot be undone.

Looking back, we wonder now of 

Who and why and even how? 

How could such a thing be done? 

What kind of man crouched with that gun 

And waited for the car to come? 

What thoughts ran in his hateful mind 

As he took a breath, aimed and fired. 

Assessed his work, and walked away?

And where could that man run?

It’s been many years now since the day 

When a nameless, faceless, vicious ray 

Of hate lashed out and took away 

Our best and brightest son. 

It’s hard to find words to convey 

The shock that struck the world that day 

Something died in each of us 

In every single one of us 

A dream in every beating heart 

Was punctured and then blown apart 

By an assassin’s bullet speeding 

Aiming flashing twisting screaming 

Hitting smashing cracking bleeding 

In the late November sun.

(Originally written on 22 November 1993, the thirtieth anniversary of the Kennedy assassination.)

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Bad Weather Days

The weather changes. On pleasant days, our moods are elevated. We are happy to go outside and enjoy the world. On unpleasant days, we feel less enthusiastic. We dread the thought of leaving the house to run the simplest errand.

The weather changes in relationships, as well. On pleasant days, we feel joyful when we spend time with our partner. We feel close to them. We idolize them. 

On unpleasant days, we feel contempt for our partners. We criticize them, sometimes unfairly. Their very presence annoys us, and we retreat into isolation, physically or emotionally.

The difference is that we can’t change the weather. We have to accept rain, snow, wind, and lightning. We can’t go outside and say, “Hey! What’s bothering you? I don’t think you really want to be storming right now. Can we please talk about this?” 

The weather won’t listen, but our partners will.

Be aware of the “weather” in your personal life. Watch the barometer of contempt closely. If the number of unpleasant days seems abnormally high, don’t just wait for the storm to pass. Storms of contempt do lasting damage, just like a real hurricane. You don’t have to wait for the storm to pass to patch the roof. You can interrupt it in progress. 

Talk with your partner when they seem withdrawn. If something is bothering them, it’s better to address it sooner rather than later. Approach them gently and open a dialog. Use kindness, a soft voice, gifts, self-deprecating humor, or anything that you can think of to get through to them. Don’t let the storm rage on. There may not be a house left when it’s over.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Components of Love

Love is one part forgiveness, two parts joy, three parts patience, and four parts obsession. Or maybe it’s really just ten parts obsession, and all of those other things are by-products of the chaos that it unleashes in our lives.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Absurdly Infuriating

An absurd situation can be infuriating. Or hilarious. You decide.

You Have The Power

You are never powerless. 

You have power over your own thoughts.

You have the power to decide how you are going to treat others.

You have the power to be kind to yourself.

You have the power of will.

You have the power of grace.

You have the power to see the good in people, even hurtful and aggravating people.

You have the power to find the humor in situations, even absurd and stressful situations.

You have the power of inspiration.

You have the power of imagination.

You have the power to make the most of any moment, even the most difficult moments.

You have the power to make the best of every day, even days that challenge you in ways that you could not have imagined.

You have the power of love.

You have the power of action.

You have the power to do what you can in this moment.

You have the power to avoid the regret of not trying. 

You have the power of joy.

You have the power of life.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 120 - Noisy Night

This past Thursday evening, during an early-season snowstorm, the fire hydrant on the corner outside of my building broke and spewed water into the streets at full blast for about four to five hours. Apparently, the city was in no hurry to shut it down. On top of the rain and snow, our street got to enjoy its own temporary lake.

For context, the broken hydrant is located less than twenty feet away from the two manholes that exploded a couple of weeks ago. I wonder whether the heat from the explosions may have weakened the steel.

The city people finally arrived on the scene and shut down the gushing hydrant late at around around ten or eleven, and all was quiet. It’s been quiet ever since. I noted last night that I hadn’t seen any trucks or workmen on the ill-fated corner for days.

And then, suddenly, the silence was broken! At one o’clock this morning, sharp, a crew started using a jackhammer in the street next to the fire hydrant. At one o’clock in the flipping morning! As a city dweller, I can sleep through an amazing array of noise. But the sound of a jackhammer starting up in the middle of the night is unusual enough to get anyone’s attention. Luckily, I was so tired that I eventually tuned it out and drift off.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Stop Blaming Gun Violence On Mental Health

The US has had mental health issues for centuries. There was plenty of PTSD from WWI, WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. Until the last couple of decades, no one was walking into schools and churches to commit random, indiscriminate mass murder. So, let’s put this “mental health“ red herring to rest forever. The US had a gun problem and an anti-social anger problem. The anger problem stems out of a “me first“ culture and is flamed by right wing values and propaganda. The gun problem comes from the greed of firearms manufacturers and the terrified paranoia of people who feel that aren’t safe unless they are armed to the teeth. Nothing will change until we face these truths.

Say What You Mean

Life would be simpler if people would say what they mean. So often we bury our most earnest thoughts in silence and hide our true feelings behind banal pleasantries. The truth can be brutal, but the confusion of prolonged obscurity is no less damaging. 

New York Minute 119 - Latina Lunch Date

A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying a relaxing Saturday lunch at one of my favorite local restaurants when the hostess sat two young Latinas at the small table next to me. I could tell from their body language that one of them was upset that there wasn't enough space to sit side by side, but they worked around it. It was fun to watch them hold hands across the table and give each other adoring looks. Ah, young love! It inspires us all.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 118 - Unsanitary

In addition to the many unpleasant things that we encounter on the subway - crowds, panhandlers, dirt, the smell, slow or interrupted service, puddles and slippery surfaces in bad weather, loud music (it's back!), creeps, and dangerous people - two other things give me a bad feeling with I see them on the trains even though they aren't nasty things at all.

The first is people in dressed in their hospital uniforms. My question is, can't they change into these clothes when they get to work? Given that infections cause death and injury to tens of thousands of hospital patients each year, do you really wanted to be treated by someone who was just sitting on a bench where some down and out addict spent the night? It just doesn't seem sanitary.

The second thing that bothers me is seeing a cart of prepared food on the subway, usually being shepherded around by an Asian or Mexican/Central American guy who looks like he slept in the kitchen where the food was prepared. If you're going to cater an event or a luncheon, why not order from a restaurant that's within walking distance? Is it really worth ordering lunch from Chinatown if it has to be delivered via a fifty-block subway ride? 

I see both of these things frequently. I saw them this morning, and I'm sorry, but I just lost my appetite. I wouldn't want to get food poisoning and have to be admitted to an unsanitary hospital.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 117 - Metro Card Machine

New York bus and subway fares are paid with a little plastic card called a Metro Card. It’s the size of a credit card, but it’s about as thin as a sheet of high quality paper. The cards last for a year. You can recharge them, i.e. add more money, at a booth with a ticket agent or at a special machine. Many stations don’t have agents. In those cases, you have to use the machine.

This morning, I found myself standing in line waiting to recharge my card. A young lady was using the machine ahead of me. She added twenty dollars to her Metro Card by inserting one-dollar bills into the machine. Every time the machine ingests a bill, it waits for a few seconds while it verifies the authenticity and value of the bill. 

I don’t know where this young lady works, but she needs to find a job where they pay better tips.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Random Thoughts - 20181112

Don’t worry if it feels as though you’re walking around in slow motion. At least you won’t bump into anything too hard.

Just because you’re really good at being bad doesn’t mean that you’re really bad at being good.

In space, there's no such thing as upside-down. There’s no concept of top or bottom in space sex.

When the monkeys take over the zoo, which animal will they fear might take over next?

Yes, I have met the muffin man, but thank you for asking!

Midterm Election 2018 Recap

It wasn’t a blue wave, and it wasn’t a blue cave. It was somewhere in the middle. Democrats made advances while Republicans held onto power by defeating strong challengers in key races.

Here’s what went well and not so well for Progressives.

The Good News

The Democrats will take control of the House of Representatives. This was critical to placing at least one check on the power of a president without boundaries or guiding principles. This was a must win, and the voters came through, not in spectacular fashion, but with enough votes to overcome a massive gerrymandering disadvantage.

More women have been elected to Congress than ever before. As Alex Wagner and John Heilemann commented, there was no blue wave, but there was a pink wave. That pink wave is going to change the tone in Washington.

A number of fresh, new faces have entered the national political arena, largely by virtue of these House races. This was a good sign for the future of Progressive leadership, and many of its current leaders are aging.

The Somewhat Good News

Governor’s races followed geographical expectations. Democrats picked up states in the North and the Pacific Northwest. Republicans held onto and expanded governorships in the South and Midwest.

Democratic pickups include -

- Maine - Janet Mills succeeds retiring governor LePage, a Republican of questionable ethics.

- Michigan - Gretchen Whitmer takes over a state where the Flint water crisis was triggered by deregulation enacted by a Republican administration.

- Wisconsin - Tony Evers defeats Scott Walker, a nemesis of labor and progressive values.

- Kansas (surprise!) - Laura Kelly defeats Kris Kobach, a champion of voter suppression.

And three out of these four winners are women. The pink wave continues!

The Bad News

There’s no way to put this nicely. The Dems got their butts kicked in the Senate, and they got their butts kicked by DJ Trump, who clearly still wields significant political clout. To be fair, the man doesn’t really do anything except campaign and play golf, and he gets free press coverage wherever he goes, but he was able to inspire the faithful to show up. There was no referndum on the president this year. His controversial policies have not done him significant political harm.

With an expanded majority, Mitch McConnell can push through more right-wing judges, and Democrats are powerless to stop him. Further, while it’s conceivable that DJT could be impeached by a Democratic House of Representatives, the probability of him being convicted by a friendly Senate seems all but impossible. The Republican Party is the party of Trump, and they sink or swim based on how deeply they bow to the altar of his ego.

Demographics, Turnout, and Other Imponderables

Florida mystifies me. Elections in Florida are like wrestling exhibitions where the winners are predetermined, and the winners are always Republican by a narrow margin. This is the state that George W. Bush won by less than six hundred votes.

We heard about the energized youth vote inspired by the Parkland shooting. Where were their votes? They didn’t seem to have any impact.

We heard about residents of Puerto Rico moving to Florida after Hurricane Maria so the could have their votes counted. Where were those votes?

I tend to be cynical when people suggest that changing demographics will have an impact on elections. It just never seems to work out as expected.