The Challenge and Reward of Being Present

Is it fair to scold children for not paying attention? How many adults do you know who can remain focused and resist distraction for even a short period of time? 

The next time you're in a meeting or attending a presentation, notice how many people give their full attention and focus to the discussion. How many will check their mobile phones at some point? How many will pull out a laptop or a tablet to do some work (or casual browsing) instead of focusing on the matter that's being discussed?

It's not just technology that distracts us. People get caught up in their own thoughts, or they become distracted by the actions of others.

Sometimes, we'll hear people mention the concept of being present, suggesting that we be aware and "live in the moment." If you have heard these terms and thought "worthless self-help nonsense," I don't blame you. Ideas like this come with a certain amount of skeptical baggage. Introspection and self awareness are not well understood in Western society.

But let's be clear on one point. Presence, focus, and clarity aren't optional "nice to haves" with which we can look forward to experimenting when we find some extra time. Being focused is a powerful technique; it helps us to make the most out of almost any situation.

Suggestions For Heightened Awareness

Notice things. In any given moment, we ignore much of what's happening around us. In order to become more focused and aware, we need to force ourselves to break the habit of shutting out the world. Wherever your are right now, think about everything that you hear. Notice things that you weren't hearing thirty seconds ago. Notice what you can see, feel, and smell. Engage your senses to the fullest (this is fun!). Be there, be aware, and notice as much as you possibly can.

Listen. When someone speaks, listen. Focus on every word and every idea. Focus on the tone and pace of their voice. Focus on their posture and body language. Focus on the greater they are attempting to convey with their words.

Participate. Be active and engaging in conversations and situations. That doesn't mean being impolite, disruptive, or overbearing. It means engaging in partnership with others and in concert with your surroundings.

Reflect. Think about how your feel about things as you live from moment to moment. How does what's happening outside of your body impact your inner being. Your inner self never stops listening, never stops noticing things. You might have trained yourself to subdue certain emotional reactions, to forge ahead with a stiff upper lip. That conditioning can help you to navigate stressful and challenging situations. But your inner being still feels a certain way about things. It's important to acknowledge those feelings to yourself, even when, for various reasons, we have to keep them hidden from others. Try to be aware of how you feel about things as often as you can.

Decide. Make a conscious decision to be present, even when doing to is difficult. Notice whether this makes a difference in how you experience the world and in how the world responds to you. Focus. Concentrate. Remind yourself to establish and maintain awareness in a variety of situations. To be fully aware is to be fully alive. Don't cheat yourself out of a minute of your life by staggering through it in blissful unawareness. Experience life fully by being present in each moment. Remind yourself regularly to maintain this awareness even as you navigate through a demanding schedule.

Be kind to yourself and to others. Being supportive of others requires an awareness of their needs, their tastes, and their feelings. Being kind to yourself requires that same level of awareness directed inwardly. Remind yourself that being present is challenging. You won't be able to manage it all of the time. Do your best, but relax and give yourself a much deserved break anytime you need it. Kindness is the ultimate honor. Pay that honor to yourself and to others whenever you can.

Copyright © 2016 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved