South Of Someplace: August 2014

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Fun Times and the Class Reunion

"Class of 69 High School Reunion"

Admit it. That sounds like a good time.

A really, REALLY good time!

:-)

Boredom

I never feel bored when I'm free to do as I please. I can work on one of my many projects, research and ponder interesting topics, or just relax and have some fun.

But when I'm compelled to adhere to someone else's schedule or to listen to them ramble, the boredom is unbearable. It feels as though my eyeballs are going to pop right out of my head.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Irrationality Of Racism

If someone is determined to dislike another person, they'll always find an excuse, even if it's irrational.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Life Without The Internet

Yes, it's difficult to imagine life without the Internet -

- no search engines.

- no online stores.

- no scalable maps with driving directions.

- no instant bill paying from anywhere.

- no round the clock news sites.

- no on-demand video.

- no library of pictures of anything that you can imagine.

- no instant weather forecasts, sports scores or stock quotes.

- no illegally uploaded copies of songs for you to enjoy guilt-free.

- no endless flame wars in the comments section.

- no encyclopedia written by no-scholars.

- and no limitless supply of free porn.

The Internet - how did we ever get along without it?

During my run this evening, which was amazing - I ran fast and had a lot of energy - I suddenly found myself surrounded by a pack of passing bicyclists. There must have been twenty-five or thirty of them racing past in a tight formation on rugged-looking mountain bikes. No lights, no helmets, and it was getting dark.

A taxi stood motionless waiting for them to pass. I moved in close to the taxi so the cyclists wouldn't run into me.

As one of the bikes passed, the rider, a young fellow, reached out, tapped my chest gently, and yelled "NIPPLES!"

Two seconds later, the pack had moved on and I started running again.

Don't Get Too Comfy

Don't get too comfortable. You never know when you'll need to pack up your tent.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

A Salute To Summer Fashion

We should all thank Britney Spears for popularizing the visible brassiere look. Social acceptance of bra straps has added a sassy new dimension to summer wardrobe choices.

Let's also pay tribute to a couple of classics: short shorts and cutoffs. What pair of smooth, toned legs doesn't look better when partnered with these attractive accessories?

Finally, to the person who invented yoga pants - thank you for a true stroke of genius in fashion innovation! Who knew what an exciting difference a small patch of spandex could make?

Ah, the delightful pleasures of summertime!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Prejudice

It is prejudiced to like Black Michael Jackson better than White Michael Jackson? Or is it just a matter of taste?

(Sorry if that question seems a little Off The Wall.)

I wonder what White Michael Jackson thought of Black Michael Jackson. He certainly went to great lengths to distance himself from the guy.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Yoga Class

I thought about signing up for a yoga class until I realized that it would be full of the kind of people who take yoga classes.

The same principle applies to vegetarian restaurants.

Matching Colors

Could someone please explain the female obsession with matching colors?

"Ooh, that shirt would go with your brown pants!" your lady exclaims as you pass through the men's clothing section.

She's trying earnestly to help - she really is - but it's clear that she doesn't understand the fundamentals of male fashion.

Let me try to explain this, ladies. It's very simple. There is only one thing that I could wear that wouldn't match my brown pants - and that's another pair of pants.

As long as I don't try to wear two pairs of pants at the same time, anything else that I wear will match my brown pants just fine.

I can wear an orange Syracuse jersey, a green Notre Dame scarf, my black and gold Steelers hat, blue New York Giants socks, a tan belt, and a pair of purple and silver running shoes, and everything will match my brown pants perfectly.

Ladies, we know that you're just trying to be helpful. But when it comes to male fashion, we have everything under control.

Dreams Of Retirement

We all dream of things that we would like to do and places that we would like to see. Retirement, that perfect post-employment wonderland of infinite time and adequate finances, might seem like the perfect time to live out those dreams.

Unfortunately, this ideal view of retirement is more fantastic than realistic. You might want to get started on those dreams sooner rather than later. Here's why.

1. You Might Not Make It

Not everyone lives to a ripe old age. Lots of people pass away in their fifties and sixties. If you live long enough to retire, there's no guarantee that you'll maintain your health or your mental faculties in your later years.

Imagine trying to climb Mount Everest with a heart condition or advancing arthritis. Imagine trying to write children's stories while struggling with dementia.

Hopefully, you'll live a long and healthy life, but there are no guarantees - for you or for your loved ones. Dreams impact more than the dreamer.

Let's say that you dream of becoming a gourmet cook after you retire. Not all of your friends and family members will live that long. But if you get started sooner, everyone will be able to sample your award-winning recipes.

2. Energy Crisis

Even if we keep ourselves fit, aging inevitably means slowing down. We lose a bit of vigor every year after forty. As time passes, we have to settle for a life of doing less and resting more. Environmental factors such as extreme weather become more to tolerate, as well.

If you're looking forward to an active retirement, keep in mind that at seventy you'll have less energy and stamina than you had at fifty.

3. Dreams Take Time

If your dream is to see the Taj Majal or to golf at Pebble Beach, you can buy a plane ticket do those things right away. But some dreams will require more time.

Let's say that you dream of writing mystery novels. Have you written fiction before? If you haven't, you'll need to develop writing skills before tackling a novel. Becoming a writer will take years of practice.

On the other hand, if you start writing smaller projects earlier in life - short stories or one-act plays, for instance - you might not have to spend the first few years of your retirement learning how to develop a plot or write convincing dialog.

Now considering finding a way to write entire novels while you're still working. If you start the process in your thirties or forties, you'll have decades to develop your skills, your ideas, and your writing style. You might be able to write a whole series of books.

The earlier you start, the more possibilities you'll have.

4. The End Of An Era

Current attitudes about retirement date back to The New Deal. Social Security and the growing availability of automobiles provided seniors with a sense of independence and mobility. No longer worrying about becoming a burden to the families, seniors looked forward to enjoying leisure after their careers ended.

In the Post-War economic boom, companies and municipalities offered monetary retirement benefits to employees as an incentive for loyalty. After working at the same place for twenty or thirty years, retirees had both income and free time, and they looked for ways to enjoy themselves.

But the golden age of retirement has passed. Most companies have discontinued traditional retirement plans. Self-funded tax-deferred savings plans (IRA, 401k) have become the norm in an era where employees tend to change jobs more frequently.

For many retired workers, retirement turned out to be a false promise. Companies and municipalities facing financial hardship restructured or discontinue existing retirement plans. Retirement benefits were cut back or even eliminated.

5. You Might Need To Keep Working

One of the potential benefits of a long life is a longer retirement. But if you have a long retirement and your ex-employers are no longer willing to support you, your savings will have to last longer.

Let's say that after raising a family, you and your spouse together were able to save $900,000 for retirement. If you live for ten years, you can withdraw $90,000 per year. Unless you develop serious medical expenses, that might enable you to live in relative comfort and enjoy the occasional adventure.

But what if you live for thirty years instead of ten? Now your $900k retirement fund pays $30,000 per year. That's hardly a luxurious income, and as the years pass, it will buy less and less.

Now imagine that one of you endures a serious medical complication. You are, after all, getting older. It's not inconceivable that you'll need to raid you nest egg to pay for some big hospital bill along the way. That makes your financial picture seem even more bleak.

What are the options? How can you make your savings last longer? Some might suggest investing the money. That sounds nice. But remember that if you were Warren Buffet, you wouldn't be in this position. The average investor isn't likely to grow a retirement nest egg significantly over the long term. Careful investments might help you up with cost of living increases. But investment always involves risk. Are you prepared to lose thirty percent of your savings during a bad week in the stock market?

A more sensible option might be to maintain an income, whether by extending your current career, i.e. not retiring as soon as you can, by working somewhere else, or by starting a profitable business. If you're making money, you can defer your dependence on the nest egg and perhaps even grow if further.

Working also helps to maintain a sense of belonging and connection that some people miss when they leave their careers behind. So don't donate your business clothes to charity just yet. You just might have some more work to do.

Life's Great! Don't Wait!

The realities of retirement aren't always as appealing as we imagine. A lot of people end up struggling just to get by in their later years. They live to watch many of their dreams slip away.

Don't wait for retirement. If you live long enough, you have the benefits or the savings, that's great. Just don't count on that being the case. Even if you're a very careful saver, one significant medical emergency can wipe out your stash.

Live now. Tackle at least some of your dreams as early as you can. No one ever regrets getting started too early.

On a personal note, this is the two-hundred first post on the South of Someplace blog. You wouldn't be reading this if I had waited until retirement to begin blogging. What I post here won't change the world, but it's important to me and to family and friends. I'm glad that I started writing when I did. :-)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

High Five

Here's an idea. Give someone a "High Five" this week.

Show them some respect and appreciation in a cool, laid back, and totally awesome way. You might encourage them to smile, chuckle, or even Hive Five you back! :-)

Yes, I realize that the High Five is a corny, jocular, and conspicuously casual holdover from 1970's popular culture. I realize, and you should as well, that the High Five is not appropriate in all situations.

Don't High Five the person who just gave you a job interview.

Don't High Five your minister (unless he or she is a Unitarian, in which case you needn't worry about it).

Don't High Five the doctor who just performed your prostate exam.

Don't High Five people in a corporate boardroom...unless, of course, you're the Chairman of the Board and you're trying to lighten up a stiff and domineering image.

Why Five???

The High Five sends a powerful message.

The High Five says, "I respect you."

The High Five says, "You've been accepted."

The High Five says that you just did an admirable job and that your efforts not only were noticed, they are appreciated.

The High Five says that you're valued. What could be better? (Other than an envelope full of money. But the IRS would be all over that.)

Positive Reinforcement

The world is drowning in negative feedback. Arguments. Friction. Bad vibes. Turf wars. Intimidation. Threats. Lawsuits. Profane gestures.

Everyone can use some positive reinforcement. If you're the one person who's treating people BETTER than they expect to be treated, you'll stand out. They get some recognition, and you get some recognition. Win-win!

And While You're At It?

Why stop at a High Five? Once you've completed your High Five mission, give someone a well-deserved but unexpected compliment.

Look around. Someone in your sphere of influence probably did something helpful for you lately. Tell them how much you appreciate their contribution or how much you value their opinion/reliability/friendship/expertise/etc. Catch them off guard and enjoy their reaction.

Go For The Trifecta!

You're on a roll! You've given one person a fun High Five. You've paid someone else a thoughtful compliment. Now it's time to DO something.

Yes, really DO something. Do something for someone, and do it unexpectedly. Any small but thoughtful gesture will do.

Bring them a bagel on the morning when they have back to back meetings.

If you notice that they're not feeling well, offer to walk their dog or pick up their dry cleaning.

Pick up a book of their favorite puzzles from the newsstand.

An unexpected act kindness can be affirming and heart-warming - for both of you!

You shouldn't expect thanks or a particular reaction - remember that you're not doing these for praise, you're giving of yourself freely and generously. But don't be surprised if the person says that they really needed that little dose of kindness this week. Receiving a small gift is almost as rewarding as knowing that you did something nice for someone.

The Plan

So, here's the plan. Over the next seven days -

- Give someone a High Five.

- Pay someone a thoughtful compliment.

- Do something for someone unexpectedly.

Who knows? These small acts of kindness might inspire additional positive actions. Any time that we break the cycle of negativity, even in a small way, we have a chance to change the course of events in a positive direction well into the future.

This won't happen every time. Some people will receive your positive words or acts or gestures and they won't pass them forward. Maybe they're too busy. Or forgetful. Or jaded. It doesn't matter. Make the attempt. Not every attempt will succeed in uplifting your intended recipients, but each one will uplifting YOU. A positive and energetic YOU can make a real difference in people's lives. So, even if some of your efforts are met with suspicion or confusion, realize that in total, they're contributing to the greater good.

I'm going to give you a virtual, online High Five just for reading this far. No, get out there and pass it on! :-)

Remembering Robin Williams

If you saw Robin Williams perform even once, you remembered him. He made an instantaneous impression. One movie, one television appearance, a few brief minutes of stand-up comedy - that's all that it would take to brand a vivid and indelible image of his genius into your consciousness. His talent was boundless, and the potent singularity of his persona was unforgettable.

We remember Robin Williams for his wit, first and foremost, but it was the speed of his thoughts and their delivery that set him apart. The jokes and gags and voices and gestures and cultural references would fly out of his mouth at a thousand miles an hour. Yet, every transition was logical. Every fleeting comedic reference led seamlessly into another mind-bending explosion of lateral thinking. The jokes were funny, but the experience of having them race past you, one after another after another from a seemingly inexhaustible source, was even more enjoyable than the humor itself.

We remember Robin Williams, the brilliant performer. We remember his astounding versatility. It was remarkable how effortlessly he could transition from a hyperactive comic to an award-winning dramatic actor. His role in Good Will Hunting was so perfect and so poignant and so human. The Oscar for Best Supporting Actor was well deserved.

We remember Robin Williams, the consummate professional, who entertained us, so many of us, decade after decade, with the same vigor and enthusiasm that filled his first moments on television with such magic.

And now, sadly, we must remember another Robin Williams, a fragile, sensitive man who lost his battle with profound depression.

There is no rational explanation for depression. It afflicts its victims no matter what else is happening in their lives. No degree out outward success can offset the overwhelming inner torment of depression or the fear of having that torment discovered.

Robin Williams enjoyed a storybook show business career. For decades, he contributed to one high quality project after another. Despite various personal struggles, there was never a period where he disappeared, where we were left to wonder, "Whatever happened to Robin Williams?" He never stopped working. His movies were critically acclaimed and grossed billions of dollars worldwide. His performances were consistently memorable and always entertaining.

I don't know the details, but one can assume that Mr. Williams financial success during his career. He certainly earned the adulation of millions of fans.

And yet, in the end, it was the disease that won. A man who enjoyed more outward success than any entertainer could hope to accomplish, who lived his dream fully and openly and successfully for years and years, who garnered the respect of peers and critics and the adulation of fans, who was recognized and quoted and adored worldwide, took his own life when his lone, dark, quiet struggle with hopelessness became too much to bear.

Let's remember that last part very carefully. A person can have everything and feel that they deserve nothing. Remember also that while depression is rampant, the victims don't talk about it.

Can we resolve to be gentle to any person that we meet - friends, peers, neighbors, strangers, and especially family members? We'll never know who among us is carrying a secret, heavy burden, a burden so dark and wretched and overwhelming that they might choose to leave all of the good of the world behind just to be free of its weight.

Be kind. Be patient. Be understanding to everyone, to every last human soul. If someone near us is struggling with feelings of hopelessness or despair, let's please not learn about it the hard way.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Work

There's no substitute for work. The potatoes don't pick themselves. If you want something, you need to put in the effort and be prepared to get your hands dirty.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Save The Children

The growing influx of child refugees from Central America is causing a humanitarian crisis on the southern border of the United States. It's also causing vociferous and agitated political upheaval in Washington, D.C.

Some politicians and political factions argue for the immediate deportation of these child immigrants. "American shouldn't be a 'sugar daddy'," one prominent congressman has stated. His suggested solution to the crisis: a large block of one-way airline tickets.

Consider for a moment that these same politicians and factions have fought tirelessly over the years against abortion rights. They pass highly restrictive laws with the expressed intent of protecting children.

And yet, when living, breathing children show up at the border asking for refuge from dire poverty, sex slavery, and rampant gang violence, the "every life is sacred" movement wants to put them on a plane and deport them back to their dangerous nations and neighborhoods.

A child is a child. A life is a life. If you're going to advocate for some of them, don't turn your back on the rest of them.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Appreciate Them Now

Who are the people that make you laugh, smile, who inspire you or make you feel appreciated?

In which places do you enjoy spending time - restaurants, clubs, parks, shops, theaters?

What readily accessible activities do you enjoy, either by yourself or with your family and friends?

Times change.

One day, some of those things will be gone. Colleagues will have moved on. Friends will move away. Favorite hang-outs will close.

One day, we'll look back and reminisce about that club where we used to enjoy live music, or some restaurant with amazing desserts, or the place where the kids used to enjoy spending an entire afternoon.

We'll reminisce about people who brought joy and adventure and meaning into our lives, like some colleague who made us laugh almost every day and whom we've thought about warmly ever since.

Before they disappear, before the inevitable march of time rearranges they daily details of our lives forever, think about the people and places and opportunities that you appreciate and enjoy.

Who or what do you appreciate right now? Make a plan to get out and enjoy some quality time with them again soon. Because one of those times will be the last time.

Appreciate them now.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Creative Panhandling

If I were a panhandler I would approach the task creatively. Instead of asking for change for a dollar, I would ask people if they had change for forty-seven cents. Let them figure THAT one out! They'd probably give me a quarter just so they wouldn't have to do the math.

Or maybe I would postulate that beer money is more cost effective than rehab. Let them run their own risk to benefits analysis if they don't believe me. Hey! Just because I'm the one who's asking for what amounts to a grant doesn't mean that I should be responsible for compiling all of the research.

Yet There Is Method In It

Whether you believe that there is method in my madness or madness in my method, I think we can all agree that I'm a little nutty.

South Of Someplace