The Difference Between Dating and Marriage - A Guide for Men

The Difference Between Dating and Marriage

 

 

DATING

She doesn’t want you to fix the problem.

She wants you to understand how the problem makes her feel.

She wants you to empathize with what she’s going through.

She wants to know that she can count on your emotional support while she works through this.


MARRIAGE

She wants you to fix the problem.

She’s been asking you for months, and you still haven’t fixed it.

“We’re not going to hire someone. It’s a waste of money. You need to fix it.”

“I should have married Frank,” she thinks to herself. “He would have had it fixed by now.”

“Maybe I should call Frank.”

Waiting for Godot - An Interpretation

Lucky represents the working class, the proletariat. Restricted by his oppressive employer, he remains mostly silent, but when he’s unshackled and permitted to speak, he is thoughtful and perplexingly eloquent.

Pozzo represents the bourgeoisie, the capitalists, the business owners, politicians, those with wealth and influence. He’s a larger than life figure, loud, arrogant, and pompous. He’s vain and openly seeks compliments.

Pozzo justifies his chronic mistreatment of Lucky, believing that Lucky is better off despite the harsh terms of his decades long employment. Pozzo has no respect for Lucky and no sympathy. He views his servant primarily as an asset, a commodity. He muses about “getting a good price for him” at “the market”.

Vladimir and Estragon represent us as we grapple with life’s macro decisions. What should we do? Where should we go? Should we part or stay together? Should we give up or keep going? What is there to live for?

When asked where he’s been, Estragon, who represents a subtly feminine perspective, explains that he slept in a ditch - perhaps a metaphor for “the gutter” - where he is assaulted by numerous attackers. Vladimir, who represents the masculine perspective, says, “I could have protected you.”

“No you couldn’t,” argues Estragon. “There were ten of them.”

“I could have stopped you from doing what you did,” Vladimir argues, perhaps hinting at Estragon engaging in flirtation or prostitution, or simply putting himself in a bad situation.

“I think we would be better off if we went our separate ways,” argues Estragon.

“You always say that,” Vladimir counters, “and then you come crawling back.”

Vladimir and Estragon are bewildered when Pozzo and Lucky arrive. They’re dazzled by Pozzo’s swagger and shocked by his cruelty toward Lucky. When Pozzo seems high and mighty, Estragon begs him for ten francs. Later, when misfortune befalls Pozzo and his status is reduced, Estragon won’t lift a finger to help him for less than two-hundred francs.

The name Pozzo is an interesting choice. Does it represent possibilities, i.e. entrepreneurship? Is he a poseur, one who seeks to influence others with charm and bravado? Pozzo’s eventual downfall is sudden and precipitous, yet we feel no empathy for him, only a shred of pity.

The final character to appear, the boy, represents hope and a reassuring innocence. Things may not have worked out today, but surely they will tomorrow.

Vladimir and Estragon, frustrated by the news that the boy brings, nevertheless take solace in the promise of a better tomorrow.

“Waiting for Godot,” starring Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves, is playing at the Hudson Theater in New York City.

Good Deeds, New York Style

Last week, I did a good deed, or at least part of a good deed.

As I was walking to catch a subway, a small, middle-aged lady approached me and asked where she could catch the PATH train. PATH is a rail system that connects Manhattan with nearby cities in New Jersey. Gesturing forward, I told her that the station was close by, across the next street.

We both began walking in that direction, not together, but we were both going the same way. I could hear the sound of her suitcase rolling along the sidewalk. The suitcase was fairly large.

When we reached the intersection, I pointed across the street. "Just go down those stairs."

The lady asked whether the station had an elevator; I admitted that I didn't know. I asked her if she needed help, but she said that the suitcase was heavy and suggested that we might be able carry it down the stairs together.

Once we'd crossed the street, I asked again if she'd like me to carry her suitcase downstairs. Again, she thanked me but stressed that it was heavy. I reached over and picked it up; it wasn't that bad, bulky but not very heavy.

I carried the suitcase down three flights of stairs. The lady thanked me and asked me how to buy tickets for the train.  I motioned to a series of self-service machines but explained that I wasn't familiar with how they work. On the rare occasions when I took the PATH, I used the MetroCard that we used for the subways. I'm not sure that option is still available, as the MetroCard has been discontinued, but I digress.

The lady thanked me again, and I wished her a safe journey before heading to catch the subway. In retrospect, I feel bad that I didn't help her with the ticket machines.

Making Better Movies on Smaller Budgets

If a movie makes $4 million at the box office, is it a failure?

I the producers spend $20M making it, it's a flop. If they spent $50M, it's a disaster.

But what if the film was made on a budget of $450,000? If you invest $450k on something and get a return of $4M in a year, you'd be pretty happy.

One of my favorite films, Brick (2005), was made for $450k. It was Rian Johnson's first feature film. His cousin composed the soundtrack.

Johnson went on to make big budget films, such as Knives Out and Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but of all of his work, Brick is still my favorite.

I'd like to see more films made on tight budgets. I like to see talented writers, directors, and actors working on projects because they believe more in a script than a paycheck. Even if it's a group of friends shooting in available light on consumer cameras, if the story is good, I'd want to see it.

The entertainment industry craves blockbusters. They want projects that will result in massive paychecks. And so, they make their $50-100M movies, and occasionally those movies give them a huge return on investment. And oftentimes, they flop.

The expectation of a massive payday makes it harder to fund and distribute independent films. That's a problem, because a massive payday requires filling lots of seats. Filling lots of seats requires sticking with ideas that have worked in the past instead of taking a chance on something that no one has ever seen before.

Low budget films are creative and bold.

Big budget films are derivative and formulaic.

Support independent filmmakers, and by all means, if you have an idea for a movie, make it and put it out there. Gather your resources, figure out how to work efficiently, and tell your story. Fresh voices and perspectives are more interesting than bloated Hollywood retreads.