Law And Order, Country Style

A friend recently posed a thought-provoking question: After living in a large city, would I be happy living in the country again?

I have been pondering this quite a bit, more than I thought I would initially, and it has led to some interesting insights. I hope to summarize my thoughts on the matter in writing at some point, but for the moment I would like to share an insight that is topical and timely in this election season.

There is an intense political narrative around the issues of law and order. The narrative suggests that crime is rampant in cities, and if people who live outside of cities want to protect themselves and their property, they’ll need to make appropriate political choices. Does any of that sound familiar?

As someone who has lived in a variety of places, I have some insights on this matter. Here is something that might surprise you.

I experienced more crime when I lived in the country than I do living in the largest city in the nation.

The political rhetoric of the day is full of words like vandalism, property damage, and looting. My building in New York has never been vandalized or looted, but my parents’ place in the country is vandalized frequently.

When they hang up a “No Trespassing” sign, it’s promptly stolen or destroyed.

When they post a “No Hunting” sign, trespassers use it for target practice with whatever firearm they happen to be carrying that day.

This doesn’t just happen during hunting season, which is like a massive free for all for trespassing. The signs are damaged year round, but in season, it’s worse. No one observes Private Property signs. If hunters think there’s game in those woods, no one’s going to stop them. They’re on a mission.

On multiple occasions, I have heard buckshot rain down on the trees around my parents’ house. Hunters will argue that no trained shooter would let that happen. Well, somebody discharged those weapons.

It gets worse. This is going back a lot of years now, but when I lived in the country, I used to know guys who broke into houses for fun. They didn’t steal things (too often), but they used to get into people’s private stuff and then laugh about it later.

One couple in the area had a collection of homemade sex tapes. I know this because my breaking and entering buddies were so familiar with the house that they used to let themselves in to watch the tapes. Then they’d laugh about it as they shared details.

Oh, yeah! And back in the 70’s, my home county had a serial killer, just for good measure.

I’ve been in New York for a long time. No one breaks into my apartment. No one vandalizes my building. In all of the years that I’ve been here, there has never once been a riot. We do have demonstrations occasionally, like when the cops kill an unarmed civilian, but although they are tense, they are usually orderly, and the tension dies down in a few weeks.

So, from my perspective, this “we must enforce law and order on cities” rhetoric is a bunch of bull crap. And I know bull crap. I’ve stepped in it. In the country.