Reminder

Hearing your voice 

After all of this time 

Reminds me of who I am 

And encourages me 

To be who I need to be 

To let my soul run free 

Stop And Listen

One day, I stopped and listened, and I heard things that I had never heard before.

Negative World

The more negative the world becomes, the more positive we have to be.

Unjustified

“Police do a dangerous job” does not justify what happened to George Floyd. 

“People are frustrated” does not justify looting and arson.

So Long To The WHO

In other news, President Buttface just announced that he’s severing all US relations with the World Health Organization. When one of the 193 remaining nations in the WHO comes up with a vaccine for COVID-19, do you think they’re going to sell it to the United States? They’ll probably tell us to lick Donald Trump’s ass for being stupid enough to elect this imbecile.

Trump’s issue with the WHO, aside from deflecting his own inept handling of the crisis, stems from a claim that they unfairly sided with China (a completely bullshit assessment just like all of his reasoning). Going forward, though, China has pledged $2 billion to the WHO, four times as much as the US contribution that drumpf is now withholding. Way to go, you fucking loser! You just handed China their very own global health organization. There are no words to describe the depths of this man’s malignant stupidity.

Whatever It Takes

Be happy right now. Do whatever it takes. Life is shorter than you think. 

Red Silk

Red silk jacket 

Red lace bra and thong 

Boxer shorts with hearts 

Turn off your phone 

We’ll be busy for a while 

Live Again

I want it all to be okay 

I want to run out in the rain 

Breathe the scented summer air 

And laugh with friends again 

I want to take you in my arms 

Forget that we’ve been far apart 

I want to talk and talk and talk 

And laugh and talk some more 

I want to dance a sultry dance 

Fill each moment with romance 

Smell the flowers in the park 

And kiss you there till dark 

I want it all to be okay 

I want to live again someday 

With no restrictions in our way 

And lots of time to play 

When Life Gets Dull

When life gets dull, it’s up to you to make it interesting.

Awesome Affirmation

I’m an awesome dude 

And, guess what! You’re awesome, too!

Yes, you know it’s true!

May End

May is ending soon 

And I’m running out of words 

These will have to do 

Unintended Sharing Of Messages

I have a question for the engineers at Apple. Under what circumstances do you think it’s useful to have a person’s text notifications shared across all of their devices? That’s like broadcasting their private phone calls on the public address system at the mall. Why would you design a system where this is the default setup and users have to disable a bunch of options to turn it off?

Tribute

My father is a brilliant man. He had a long and prosperous career as a college professor. 

Every year around this time, shortly after graduation, the college where he taught holds a dinner to honor retiring faculty members. When my father decided to retire, I wanted very much to attend the dinner where he would be honored. The event was held on a Friday evening, so I took the day off to make the trip. 

In the morning, packed my usual weekend clothes along with a suit and tie and a nice pair of shoes and socks. About halfway through the seven-hour drive, I realized that I had forgotten something. I hadn’t packed a dress shirt. By this time, I had passed through Eastern Pennsylvania where department stores are easy to find. The shopping options are more limited  the central part of the state.

I recalled that on previous trips I had seen a sign for a Brooks Brothers outlet near the Somerset. I figured that this was my best bet for finding a nice shirt. I didn’t have time to wander from town to town looking for clothes.

I stopped by the outlet and did manage to find a shirt in my size. It wasn’t fitted (I was quite slender in those days), and the material had that rough weave that wasn’t terribly comfortable, but it would be good enough to get me through the evening. I purchased the shirt and got back on the turnpike.

I made it to my parents’ house in time to clean up and change quickly. I really don’t like to wear shirts right out of the package with conspicuous fold lines everywhere, but I didn’t have a choice. As long as I kept my jacket on, I would be okay.

We drove to the hall where the event was being held. The dinner was pleasant. Afterward, each retiree was honored with speeches. Four people were being honored that evening. My father was the last in the sequence, because his 37-year tenure was the longest.

The first person to be honored was the head football coach. Some people from the athletic department gave speeches in his honor. The coach’s son also gave an impassioned speech. The second honoree had family members speak on his behalf, as well.

As the evening progressed, I started to have a sinking feeling. Had I missed the proverbial memo about speeches by family members? Would it seem strange if no one from my father’s family spoke about him?

I knew what I had to do. I had to come up with a speech on the fly and deliver it unrehearsed. No pressure!

The program moved on to the third honoree. I didn’t have much time. One of the speakers was well-regarded. He had a reputation for being an expert toastmaster. His speech was probably quite good; I sensed that the room reacting joyfully to things that he said. But I didn’t hear a word of his speech. I was in a zone coming up with a mental outline of the speech that I would deliver in a few minutes. I tuned out the world.

Good. I figured out what to say. I was ready. When there was a pause between speakers, I walked over to the dean, who was master of ceremonies for the event, and told him that I would like to speak on behalf of my father. Then I sat back and relaxed as I listened to the third honoree give his remarks. I was present and confident. There was no need to tune out any longer.

The dean went to the podium, made a few remarks about my father, and listed the three professors who would speak on his behalf. These were some of my father’s closest friends, men that he had worked with for decades and held in very high regard. I was glad that they were there to support him.

The dean then said a sentence that still echoes in my mind: “And then, Dr. South’s son will come up and say a few words.” Game time, baby! No backing out now. :-)

The speakers were all very complimentary toward my father. It was touching to see their genuine admiration for him and hear their fond recollections of time spent working together. Looking back, I wish that I had captured these speeches on video. Unfortunately, it was before the era when mobile phones became all-purpose super devices capable of recording every moment of our lives.

My turn. I walked to be podium, introduced myself, and shared a brief ice-breaking joke. The polite but muted response indicated I have no future in standup comedy.

Luckily, the body of my speech received a warmer reception. I’ll share that part here. It’s a story that I like to tell about my father, because I feel that it illustrates his character well.

-

When I was a small child, my dad would sometimes bring me to the campus with him. I didn’t mind. I was fascinated by the equipment in the laboratories. I’m sure that my mom appreciated him getting me out of her hair for a few hours.

As we walked from building to building on the campus, my father would often stop and talk to people who were passing by. 

One day, he greeted a man warmly, shook his hand, and chatted with him for a few minutes. I was shy, so I stayed silent. But when the gentleman walked away, I asked my father, “Daddy, who was that man?”

He said, “That was the president of the college.”

Another time, we were walking, and a similar thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted with them for a while. When the person moved on, I asked, “Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was one of the other professors.”

On another occasion, the same thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted for a while.

“Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was one of my students.”

Another time, the same thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted with them for a while.

“Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was the janitor.”

I wasn’t able to infer anything from this at the time. I was a small child who wasn’t particularly comfortable around strangers. But when I reflected on these experiences years later, I realized something important. My father had treated each of these individuals the same way.

From the janitor to the president of the college, he had treated each person with the same degree of interest and respect.

He greeted them warmly. He shook their hand. He engaged them in conversation and listened intently when they talked. 

He treated them all the same. That was a terrific life lesson for me, and I learned it through his example. 

-

That was the heart of my impromptu tribute to my father on the eve of his retirement. 

I’ll just add one quick thought.

Happy Birthday, Dad! Thank you for all of the times that you were there to support me. I’m honored that on that special occasion, I was able to be there to support you.

Components Of A Grand Design

Grand designs are built from small components. Invest time on those components, making sure that they work as flawlessly as possible, and the grand design will take care of itself.

Creed

I will not lie to you.

I will not compete with you.

I will not take things from you.

Your success is yours and mine is mine.

There is plenty of magic in this world.

Everyone can be happy.

Thought For The Day

Recognize what you have to offer, work out the best way to deliver it, and be firm about what you won’t accept.

Untamed

One delightful takeaway from this pandemic is seeing how awesomely hot my female friends look with wild, untamed hair!

The Art And The Artist

The artist puts some part of themselves into every work that they create, which is why proctologists should not moonlight as pastry chefs.

Something Uplifting

It’s Friday. I wanted to post something uplifting: 36DD

Rise To The Challenge

I don’t enjoy being stuck inside.

I don’t enjoy having my movements restricted.

I’m sad that I can’t visit relatives when I would like to.

I regret that I had to cancel my travel plans for the year.

I lament the fact that I can’t go to the shows or concerts that I wanted to see this year.

I’m not thrilled to see my hair growing like an out of control weed patch.

I would love to go outside. I would love to go out for a coffee and enjoy a walk in the park. I would love for things to return to normal.

I’d love to get a haircut. I would love to go to the beach. I would love to enjoy a relaxed mid-afternoon meal at one of my favorite restaurants.

I would love to travel. I would love to see a movie on the big screen. I would love to run all over the city snapping pictures. 

I would love to work out in a gym. I would love to enjoy the view from my office tower, even just one more time. I would love to take a coffee break with my colleagues.

I would love to see friends. I would love to fly on a plane. I would love to schedule overdue appointments with my dentist and the eye doctor.

I can’t do those things right now. I have to accept that there are limits to what we can do safely during a deadly pandemic. Acting impulsively or recklessly would be irresponsible. I could put my health at risk. My actions could endanger loved ones and the people in the community.

This virus has brought immense challenges to our daily lives, but we can’t stop living. Providence is not going to grant us an extra year down the road just because we had to deal with a crisis today. We have to do what we can and enjoy the time and the opportunities that we have while we have them.

Everyone’s situation is different. Everyone faces a unique set of difficulties in the quest to regain a sense of normalcy and live a productive life. Here’s how I am approaching the crisis.

I started working remotely. I’ve never worked from home before. I enjoy the energy of working in an office with a team, but that’s no longer an option.

I plan my shopping trips so I don’t have to leave home often.

I developed an exercise routine that I can do in the confines of a city apartment.

I bought an espresso machine and a water filter, so I no longer have to go outside looking for things to drink.

I prioritize what’s important.

I use my free time work on projects from my backlog.

I order takeout from my favorite neighborhood restaurants from time to time. I want to help keep them going.

I meet with my friends on Zoom and keep in touch with people in a variety of ways.

I have made peace with the realization that my hair is heading back to the 1970’s. I lived with it then; I can live with it now.

I’m taking a long-term view. If I want to travel or visit a museum or see a Broadway show, I can do those things next year, or the following year. There’s no rush. There will be time to do lots of nice things when it’s safe for everyone to get together again. The time that we have now, we can use in other ways.

Above all, I try to keep in mind that limitations, despite being confining and maddening and uncomfortable, present us with opportunities, opportunities to grow, opportunities to try new things and branch out in new directions, opportunities to interact with new people in new and exciting ways, opportunities to explore parts of ourselves that we haven’t been utilizing fully.

I realize that life is frustrating right now. It’s frustrating for me. It’s frustrating for everyone. The circumstances are what they are, and they’re not going to change anytime soon. 

But WE can change. We can adapt. We can discover through the parameters of these significant challenges opportunities that we had never considered. We can find in these difficult times a bounty of inner strength that we never realized that we had.

The crisis will pass. All of this will be a distant memory. What we do to rise to the challenge will be ours forever. 

The Secrets Of Eggnog

If you unscramble the letters in Eggnog, you get Gongeg which is probably Welsh for “drink this foul, revolting sludge and like it, you bloody poof!”

Deep Water

I’ve been in deep water 

Far out from the shore 

I’ve battled the currents 

The cold and much more 

I know what it takes 

To get back on dry land 

The price of adventure 

Can ruin a man 

Levels Of Wonder

The novice wonders: How can I do this? 

The enthusiast wonders: How can make it more impressive?

The expert wonders: How can I make it more elegant?

The master wonders: How can I make it simpler?

The Ninth

If my birthday were on the ninth, I would want it to be in June. That’s just the kind of guy I am. :-)

Everyone’s Rights

A patriot fights 

For everyone’s rights 

A barbarian fights 

For his own 

Stand up for something 

That’s greater than yourself 

Or jealously bargain 

Alone 

Effortless Performance

When something is working, it’s almost effortless. Effort is an indication that something is wrong. The greater the effort, the bigger the issue. If we don’t address the problem, we’ll continue to struggle.

Strain typically has two causes: lack of preparation or an inefficient strategy. If the strategy is sound, i.e. other people have followed the same approach and achieved the desired result, we can improve performance by identifying the details that aren’t flowing smoothly and working out the rough spots. The time invested will pay dividends many times over.

If we are pursuing the wrong strategy, it won’t matter how hard we work. Our efforts will be wasted. We won’t reach our goals until we get ourselves on the right track.

Cost Of Business

2012: Four Americans killed in Benghazi. National tragedy. Investigate! 

2020: 134,000 Americans will die from COVID-19. Cost of business. Open up!

Send Out Light

Send out light. Send out hope, even if you don’t who’s out there looking for it. Someone will appreciate it.

Nomination Option

Can we just cut the crap and nominate Governor Cuomo?

New York Minute 177 - Genius

Most Americans weren’t familiar with the concept of “social distancing” when this year began, but it has rapidly become a critical component of our day to day lives. We are being urged to stay in our homes as much as possible. Many businesses have been closed in order to prevent people from spending time in close proximity. When we enter an essential business such as a grocery store, we are urged to wear face masks and maintain a distance of a least six feet between ourselves and others.

New York is a densely populated city, but for the most part, social distancing has been manageable over the past two months. New Yorkers take the guidelines seriously. The vast majority are staying indoors and avoiding crowds when they do go outside.

I do most of my shopping late in the evening when the stores are even less crowded. When I’m in the grocery story, I can usually count the number of customers on one hand. Unfortunately, I encountered a dangerous exception a few days ago when I needed to run out to the post office. 

The post office was fine. There were people in the lobby, but it wasn’t congested. There was plenty of space of social distancing. 

On the way home, I decided to stop by the local Target store to look for paper towels. I opted to avoid Target, because they had a line of people queued up on the sidewalk waiting to get in. I thought that the queue was an indication of crowding inside, but as I think back on it, it actually meant that the store management was controlling the density of customers inside.

I decided to stop by a grocery store a couple of blocks away. There was no line outside, but the store itself was packed. Customers and workers were wearing masks, but social distancing was all but impossible.

I picked up a few items and dashed to the nearest cash register. While I was waiting in the well-spaced line, a customer stood right beside me (literally inches away), held up an item, and started yelling at one of the store’s workers. Apparently, the angry customer has asked for help in locating an item, and the worker said that they were out of it. The customer then found the item on his own felt the need to criticize the employee for the level of service that he offered.

“Hey, genius! Hey, genius!” the angry man yelled as he held up the item while standing just next to my right shoulder. “You’ve got eight of them back there!”

“My job isn’t to shop for you,” the employee responded as the angry man stormed away.

I’ll note that this store did not have the plexiglass dividers that other stores have added to separate cashiers and customers. It was a disquieting experience, and I won’t make the mistake of shopping there again, even at night.

Copyright © 2020 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Loving Days

I knew we would be lovers 

Before I knew your name 

I wanted to be near you 

And hoped you felt the same 

I thought of you so often 

But wasn’t certain why 

I desired to share with you 

Adventures far and wide 

When we were introduced 

I wasn’t sure at first 

About the situation 

Or whether we’d get hurt 

I didn’t know your feelings 

Still hidden at the time 

I didn’t know how deeply  

You were longing to be mine 

But when we talked you shared with me 

All that you held dear 

You had feelings for me 

Feelings strong and clear 

I tried to play it cool at first 

Not rush out of the gate 

I urged you to be cautious 

But you said it was too late 

You said you needed something 

That only I could give 

Your heart had fallen quickly 

And you were deep in love 

We took those small steps forward 

As I paused to catch my breath 

I wanted you so deeply 

But my heart was scared to death 

It took some time to reach my stride 

But steadily it rose 

The confidence to love you back 

To see where this would go 

Then all those special moments 

Raced toward us day by day  

Exploring endless passions 

In every special way 

I remember so much 

Kissing in the car 

Listening to music 

Loving near and far 

The connection was electric 

When I held you in my arms 

So deep and so exciting 

So loving and so warm 

Your kisses were amazing 

So desiring and divine 

I felt your soft hair on my face 

Amazed that you were mine 

Yes, I knew that we’d be lovers 

I hoped that we’d be friends 

I dreamed that we’d be partners 

Until the bitter end 

We fought hard to be together 

We overcame the dangers 

But I feared the day would come 

When we would end up strangers 

I knew I couldn’t give you 

The one thing that you needed 

I knew that I was failing you 

Despite all that succeeded 

I didn’t see it coming 

The day that all was lost 

But I understood the damage 

And realized the cost 

We talked about it briefly 

Why it had to end 

I honored your position 

And tried to be a friend 

I didn’t argue with you 

Not too much, anyway

I said I wouldn’t stop you 

Wouldn’t try to make you stay 

The silence, it still haunts me 

Even after all this time 

I almost dial your number 

But remember you’re not mine 

Better just to leave things 

It needs to be this way 

Give all your heart to your new life 

We had our loving days 

Copyright © 2020 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

The Nicest Things

The nicest thing that you can do for a person is to listen without judgment and let them know that they are understood. The second best thing is to give them your time and make them feel accepted. If you can’t manage that, cheer them up with humor, beauty, nourishment, music, love, or wisdom.