Tribute

My father is a brilliant man. He had a long and prosperous career as a college professor. 

Every year around this time, shortly after graduation, the college where he taught holds a dinner to honor retiring faculty members. When my father decided to retire, I wanted very much to attend the dinner where he would be honored. The event was held on a Friday evening, so I took the day off to make the trip. 

In the morning, packed my usual weekend clothes along with a suit and tie and a nice pair of shoes and socks. About halfway through the seven-hour drive, I realized that I had forgotten something. I hadn’t packed a dress shirt. By this time, I had passed through Eastern Pennsylvania where department stores are easy to find. The shopping options are more limited  the central part of the state.

I recalled that on previous trips I had seen a sign for a Brooks Brothers outlet near the Somerset. I figured that this was my best bet for finding a nice shirt. I didn’t have time to wander from town to town looking for clothes.

I stopped by the outlet and did manage to find a shirt in my size. It wasn’t fitted (I was quite slender in those days), and the material had that rough weave that wasn’t terribly comfortable, but it would be good enough to get me through the evening. I purchased the shirt and got back on the turnpike.

I made it to my parents’ house in time to clean up and change quickly. I really don’t like to wear shirts right out of the package with conspicuous fold lines everywhere, but I didn’t have a choice. As long as I kept my jacket on, I would be okay.

We drove to the hall where the event was being held. The dinner was pleasant. Afterward, each retiree was honored with speeches. Four people were being honored that evening. My father was the last in the sequence, because his 37-year tenure was the longest.

The first person to be honored was the head football coach. Some people from the athletic department gave speeches in his honor. The coach’s son also gave an impassioned speech. The second honoree had family members speak on his behalf, as well.

As the evening progressed, I started to have a sinking feeling. Had I missed the proverbial memo about speeches by family members? Would it seem strange if no one from my father’s family spoke about him?

I knew what I had to do. I had to come up with a speech on the fly and deliver it unrehearsed. No pressure!

The program moved on to the third honoree. I didn’t have much time. One of the speakers was well-regarded. He had a reputation for being an expert toastmaster. His speech was probably quite good; I sensed that the room reacting joyfully to things that he said. But I didn’t hear a word of his speech. I was in a zone coming up with a mental outline of the speech that I would deliver in a few minutes. I tuned out the world.

Good. I figured out what to say. I was ready. When there was a pause between speakers, I walked over to the dean, who was master of ceremonies for the event, and told him that I would like to speak on behalf of my father. Then I sat back and relaxed as I listened to the third honoree give his remarks. I was present and confident. There was no need to tune out any longer.

The dean went to the podium, made a few remarks about my father, and listed the three professors who would speak on his behalf. These were some of my father’s closest friends, men that he had worked with for decades and held in very high regard. I was glad that they were there to support him.

The dean then said a sentence that still echoes in my mind: “And then, Dr. South’s son will come up and say a few words.” Game time, baby! No backing out now. :-)

The speakers were all very complimentary toward my father. It was touching to see their genuine admiration for him and hear their fond recollections of time spent working together. Looking back, I wish that I had captured these speeches on video. Unfortunately, it was before the era when mobile phones became all-purpose super devices capable of recording every moment of our lives.

My turn. I walked to be podium, introduced myself, and shared a brief ice-breaking joke. The polite but muted response indicated I have no future in standup comedy.

Luckily, the body of my speech received a warmer reception. I’ll share that part here. It’s a story that I like to tell about my father, because I feel that it illustrates his character well.

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When I was a small child, my dad would sometimes bring me to the campus with him. I didn’t mind. I was fascinated by the equipment in the laboratories. I’m sure that my mom appreciated him getting me out of her hair for a few hours.

As we walked from building to building on the campus, my father would often stop and talk to people who were passing by. 

One day, he greeted a man warmly, shook his hand, and chatted with him for a few minutes. I was shy, so I stayed silent. But when the gentleman walked away, I asked my father, “Daddy, who was that man?”

He said, “That was the president of the college.”

Another time, we were walking, and a similar thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted with them for a while. When the person moved on, I asked, “Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was one of the other professors.”

On another occasion, the same thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted for a while.

“Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was one of my students.”

Another time, the same thing happened. My father greeted someone warmly, shook their hand, and chatted with them for a while.

“Daddy, who was that man?”

“That was the janitor.”

I wasn’t able to infer anything from this at the time. I was a small child who wasn’t particularly comfortable around strangers. But when I reflected on these experiences years later, I realized something important. My father had treated each of these individuals the same way.

From the janitor to the president of the college, he had treated each person with the same degree of interest and respect.

He greeted them warmly. He shook their hand. He engaged them in conversation and listened intently when they talked. 

He treated them all the same. That was a terrific life lesson for me, and I learned it through his example. 

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That was the heart of my impromptu tribute to my father on the eve of his retirement. 

I’ll just add one quick thought.

Happy Birthday, Dad! Thank you for all of the times that you were there to support me. I’m honored that on that special occasion, I was able to be there to support you.