South Of Someplace: April 2017

Sunday, April 30, 2017

New York Minute 56 - Politeness Test

A lady stepped onto a relatively crowded subway car with her two small children. I stepped in just behind her and stood in the space near the door as is my custom.

There were only a few open seats, and none of them were together. - At one end of the car, a sleeping bum occupied a whole row of seats.

You would think that people would leap out of their seats to make room for this woman and her children, but at first, no one budged.

"I want to sit down," the little girl announced to her mother. The lady led her to one of the open seats. Immediately, a young Mexican woman rose to open the adjacent seat. A young African American man in stylish clothing stood to offer a second adjacent seat. The woman and her children were able to sit together.

Seated in the restive of the car were a bunch of selfish assholes. Two thirds of the seated passengers were males, most of who were young, able-bodied Hispanics. None of them stood.

Is this a cultural difference? Outside of the United States, are men not taught to respect women and children? Because it sure seems that way. It's not just Hispanics. I've seen this with other minorities and foreigners as well, both working class and upper middle class.

As a person who was raised to respect women, children, the elderly, the infirm, I find such behavior inexcusable.

I'm beginning to think that American society needs a politeness test. Maybe we would have fewer shootings and incidents of road rage if people cared about each other's well-being. If you fail the politeness test, you'll have to do some community service. If that doesn't work, maybe some hard labor will teach you to respect your neighbor. Or you can just leave and take your selfish, misanthropic behavior to someone else's country. Because I'm sick of seeing it here.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Getting Ahead

You don't get ahead because you're good at something. You don't get ahead because you have talent, skill, or connections. You get ahead because you're better than you were a year ago. You're better than you were six months ago.

You drive yourself to improve continually, expanding your knowledge and your capacity. Day after day, month after month, push your limits and extend your boundaries. You bolster your weaknesses while sharpening your skills. You don't wait for good things to happen; you go after them with energy and passion.

You try new ideas, new techniques, and new approaches all the time. You give yourself permission to make mistakes - to fail frequently and even spectacularly - because you understand that failure is a stepping stone to success, that failure is the most effective teacher of all.

You get ahead by moving yourself, deliberately and purposefully, in the direction of your goals. When you attain one goal, you set a new - or many new ones - in order to keep yourself focused and motivated.

New York Minute 55 - That Mouth

A ten-year-old boy who looks to be from an upper middle class family is out riding bikes with his father. The kid tries to ride up onto the sidewalk from the street, but the front tire hits the curb and stops abruptly. The kid slides forward and hits the crossbar with the family jewels.

"Oh, DAMN!" the kid yells loudly. "I hit my COCK!"

Seriously? Would you have used language like that around your father at that age?

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Scream

If you hear a muffled scream

Please
Don't be alarmed
It's just my heart
Lashing out

Voicing its frustration

Lamenting loves and fortunes lost
Through ignorance
And inaction
Hoping to have a chance again
At success
And satisfaction
Hoping it can try again
To practice what it's learned

Monday, April 24, 2017

The Most Important Things

In every moment, focus on what's most important. Every week, reflect on what the most important things are.

Black Orange

If you didn't approve of the Black Guy, don't expect us to approve of the Orange Guy. And no, we are not going to shut up and take it.

Happiness

Above all else, happiness is what matters. Everything else is secondary.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Environmental Destruction and Greed

Here is something important to ponder on this Earth Day weekend. Most of the damage that mankind has done to the environment was driven by a single overriding motive: greed.

Don't cut some trees for timber; cut ALL of them. Don't hunt some of the buffalo for meat and leather; kill ALL of them. Don't hunt some whales for oil for your cute little lamps; hunt them to near extinction. Don't bother with clean water systems; just dump the waste in the river. Don't try to find a way to extract coal without destroying the surface; just strip mine the whole area. Don't bother investing in R&D and infrastructure for alternative energy sources; just keep pumping carbon into the atmosphere.

Greed is at the center of human motivation, perhaps not the motivation of particular individuals, but it drives enough of us (typically, those who put themselves in positions of power) to cause nearly insurmountable problems that all of us must face collectively. The conclusion is undeniable. These patterns of behavior occur happens over and over and over again. Capitalism is a dangerous enabler for the greed of mankind, because it justifies profit motive above all else. We need to adopt sensible, balanced policies for the stewardship of our miraculous, live-giving planet, or our planet will die, and all of us will die with it.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Mysticism and the Ego

A mystical religious experience, a clear and unmistakable communion with a higher power, is one of the most ego-free moments of life, a moment when we realize, vividly and unmistakably, how delicate and insignificant we really are as we bear witness firsthand to the boundless grace, power, and understanding of our Creator.

Change In Response To Crisis

Faced with a crisis, we feel motivated to change our lives in significant ways. But what changes should we make? There are many options, each with its own set of risks, rewards, and consequences.

Change can be constructive. One might volunteer to help individuals or worthy organizations. We can set ourselves on a course of self improvement.

But change can also be destructive: drinking, gambling, engaging in drugs or high-risk activities.

Another dimension to consider is how far to venture away from our original path. Should we endeavor to be a better version of our current self? Or should we pick up stakes, leave the familiar behind, and move in some bold new direction? One person might resolve to be a better wife or husband, while another might leave their behind and go on a trek around the globe.

The right answer will depend on the individual - their circumstances, their responsibilities, their emotional needs, their tolerance for risk, and the degree to which they feel that they must embrace or reject their life's trajectory. If and when you face such a decision, please consider it carefully, as the consequences will almost certainly be serious.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Time Horizon

Time runs like a rested rabbit

Bounding forward freely

I follow in futility

Like a tired, winded tortoise

Watching opportunities

Surge farther and farther

Ahead of me

Racing toward that vast horizon

Where chance

And promise

Fade from view

Leaving behind

Those too slow to catch them

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

A Wasted Life

Aaron Hernandez - What a troubled young life! What a waste of talent! My heart aches for his family. 🙁

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Arbitrary Cruelty

That poor man in Cleveland! Was he targeted at random and then killed online for someone's fiendish amusement? I can't imagine anyone being so arbitrarily cruel to another human being or to any living thing.

Monday, April 10, 2017

LMAO - Golf

Trump used to complain that President Obama spent too much time golfing. Feel free to laugh your ass off.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Unspeakable

There's bad news. There's disturbing news. There's horrifying news. And then there's what happened to those children in Syria this week - unspeakable!

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Remembering MLK

Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights activist who died on this day in 1968. May his cause and his message live on forever.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Scenes From A Film: Risky Business

Paul Brickman's 1983 film 'Risky Business' is one of my all-time favorite movies. My enduring appreciation of this daring coming of age classic is based on the emotional depth of two key scenes.

I'm not talking about "Love On A Train" (with music from Tangerine Dream) or "Dancing In Underwear" (with music by Bob Seger). Both are iconic, groundbreaking scenes that everyone remembers and enjoys. My favorites are a bit more subtle.

The first scene follows the moment when Joel's life has bottomed out. He has damaged his father's Porsche. He's been expelled from school and banned from important extracurricular activities. Distraught and confused, he borrows a friend's bike, takes the train to the city center, and races up several flights stairs to Lana's apartment.

Lana recognizes that Joel is distraught. She takes him into his arms and holds him as his tears flow. But the comfort that she gives is a charade. She's distant and unfeeling; the detachment is clearly visible in her face. She only pretends to care.

The scene is heartwrenching - we identify with Joel's pain and cringe at Lana's predictable coldness - but it is a beautifully staged example of how two people can experience the same moment differently. Joel's innocence has been shattered. He's in shock. He pours his heart and soul out to Lana, and she doesn't feel anything.

"It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four-letter word." - Joel Goodson

The second scene is at the end when Joel and Lana meet for lunch in a restaurant. Joel asks her point blank if their time together meant anything or if it was all just a setup. She doesn't answer; she just stares off into the distance.

Anyone who has been in a lopsided relationship - or the end of a relationship when one person stops caring for the other - will recognized the fatalistic frustration of these moments. Love is self-generating and independently motivated. It is practically impossible to convince a person to care when either they didn't care in the first place, or they stopped caring along the way. Those emotions have to come from them, and they have to come honestly.

Happily, Joel walks away with prospects for a bright future. He can look back over his brief time with Lana as a transitional phase punctuated with valuable lessons that elevated him from insecurity to confidence, from innocence to manhood. Still, the haunting dynamic between the college bound boy and the world weary young woman is as fascinating as any romantic relationship in film. It's awkward and exciting at the same time. It is a hopeful as it is hopeless. It's controversial and remarkably ill-advised, but even in their final encounter, we wonder if there might be some way for them to go on.

"My name is Joel Goodson. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?"

The Value Of Laughter

Laughter reduces stress, improves your mood, and makes the miserable seem tolerable. Laugh as much and as often as you can. 😄

A Prescription For Grief

Grief is devastating. It's powerful enough to kill us if we let it.

Closure is evasive, even when we do all of the right things, consistently and faithfully, to encourage its progress.

The healthiest option is to be honest about our feelings. Be sad when you're sad. Be angry when you're angry. Never hide from the truth, even when the truth is brutal.

Focus on the future, even if that future seems unimaginable. Keep moving forward every day. Believe with all of your heart that brighter times lie ahead, and do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to reach those brighter days.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Always Be Honest

Always be honest, especially with your friends. You probably have too many friends.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Second Quarter

Don't think of this as April Fool's Day. It's the start of the 2nd quarter. Think about what you are going to accomplish in the next 3 months.

South Of Someplace