Early Judeo-Christian Humor

One day, many years before the great flood, Adam and Noah were sitting around chatting and enjoying some wine.

"Hey, do you remember the story about the serpent in our garden?" Adam asked.

"Of course!" answered Noah. "Everyone knows that story."

"Well, there's a second chapter to the story that they never wrote down."

"Really?" asked Noah. "What happened?"

"Well, once the serpent began feasting on human sin, he grew to be quite large and became very powerful," Adam explained. "He used to slither into town from time to time and harass people."

"That doesn't sound good!" Noah observed with a voice of concern.

"It was pretty bad," Adam continued. "I tried to stay away from him. But one day, I walked out of my house, and there he was waiting for me."

"Oh, no!"

"Yeah," Adam confirmed. "And he was in a really foul mood, I mean even for HIM."

"Uh oh! What did he want?"

"He said that he needed a human sacrifice," Adam explained. "He told me that he was going to swallow me whole, that it was my punishment for mismanaging the Garden of Eden."

"That takes some nerve," Noah exclaimed. "Didn't he cause that whole issue?"

"Yeah, well, I guess either he has a short memory or he was just feeling greedy."

"And weren't you guys already punished for that mistake?" Noah asked.

"You'd THINK!" Adam confirmed. "We were evicted. We were embarrassed. We let everybody down. It was a whole big mess."

"Did you try to reason with the guy?" Noah suggested.

"Yeah, but he wouldn't budge," Adam continued. "He wanted a human sacrifice, and he said that he wasn't leaving without one."

"So, what did you do?" Noah asked. "I mean, obviously, he didn't eat you."

"Oh, it was no big deal," Adam explained. "I just gave him the old Eve ho."

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