Lockdown

Lock the country down. The party’s over. The virus won.

Fiddlesticks

Fiddlesticks 

I’m done with this 

Give me a kiss 

Or leave me to my bliss 

Desk

Sometimes I look 

At my desk full of stuff 

And I think to myself 

That I’ve come quite far 

Yes

I’ve done quite a lot 

Without stirring it up 

And we can probably go 

A bit longer 

With things as they are 

Fair Warning

Fair warning like a 

Cursed train speeding t’ward a crash 

As we sit and watch 

Best Advice

I used to know a guy with an annoying habit. He liked to ask my opinion on things, but every time I offered my best advice, he would dismiss it and counter with something that he’d read or seen on the Internet. 

Could I recommend a camera? Sure! Oh, but the Internet says that this model is better.

Okay...

Could I recommend an interesting place to go on vacation? Sure! Oh, but the Internet says that this other place is better and more fun and less expensive.

Okay...

Eventually, I became so exasperated that I had to say something.

“You ask me for my advice, and not just once - you’ve done this a number of times. But every time I give you my opinion, you shake your head and tell me that you’d prefer to take some recommendation that you read on the Internet. Why do you bother even asking if you’re just going to dismiss my opinion?”

The guy looked at me as though I were speaking Swahili. He didn’t seem to be able to comprehend that it was a waste of my time to give him advice that he had no intention of even considering.

A couple of months later, he asked me for my recommendation on a photo printer. 

“Here we go again!” my brain screamed, but I decided to be nice and give this one more shot. I listened as he described what he wanted to accomplish and suggested some models in his price range.

The guy smirked and shook his head. I was familiar with that smirk. I wanted to hit him with a rolling pin.

“CNET says that the Phinkelstien 5000 is the best photo printer for under a hundred seventy-five dollars.”

“That’s fine,” I said calmly. I wasn’t going to argue.

A few days later, he received his shiny new Phinkelstien 5000 Photo Printer, took it out of the box, and gave it a try. His disappointment was immediate and profound.

The next time I spoke to him, he expressed his extreme dissatisfaction with the quality of the prints. - In my mind, I can still hear him whining about it. - The guy was also an extreme tightwad, and he was more than a little upset about the money that he had spent on this turkey of a product.

“Well, I gave you my advice,” I said calmly, “and you didn’t take it.”

“I know,” he whined, “but CNET said that this was the best model.”

It’s unkind, I realize, but I still take some cold satisfaction in the way that it worked out.

Gluten Discipline

It’s not easy to 

Keep your diet gluten-free 

But it works for me

Scrambled Lyrics

The song “Yesterday” 

Started out as “Scambled Eggs” 

Glad he rewrote it

Early Education

My first few teachers 

Were fearsome battle axes 

I hated their classes 

Random Thoughts - 20200629

Random Thoughts - 20200629

I’m just a guy who likes to say, “I’m just a guy.”

I probably shouldn’t disclose this, but I shower in the nude.

I enjoy traveling, but I hate to pack. Maybe next time I’ll just leave the suitcase at home and wing the whole fresh clothes thing.

Frozen pizza tastes like it’s a day old the minute you heat it. They really nailed that leftover pizza taste!

They say that you shouldn’t shop for food when you’re hungry. Should you avoid looking for a mate when you’re horny? What actions you take before a date to calm yourself down? Enjoy a quick snack?

Think Fast

I need to think fast 

I need to think of something 

Just take a deep breath 

Overconfidence

Lack of confidence will slow you down. Overconfidence will put you in reverse.

Overcoming A Weakness

If you want to learn a lot in a short amount of time, try to improve in an area where you’re not doing well. Figure out what’s not working and why, and then come up with an approach to fix it. Put your plan into action and monitor the results. 

Your first attempt might not work; you might end up right back where you started. The problem will still exist, but you’ll have a better understanding of why it’s happening. Give it some more thought, come up with another approach, and give that a try. If that doesn’t work, try something else.

The process will be challenging, and it might take a while, but you’re going to learn a lot as you work through this. If you continue to work diligently, you’ll succeed where you once struggled. It will require patience, effort, and commitment, but you can do it. Never lose sight of the fact that you can get to where you want to be if you’re willing to work for it.

No Guarantees

There are no guarantees, only desire and action and hope.

Chill Out

He was a frail, sickly kid, all of five feet six inches tall. He was shy and socially awkward, but his family recalled that he was warm and supportive and always knew how to make them laugh. 

He was gentle and kind. On his days off, he took his violin to the animal rescue shelter and played music for the kittens. 

One evening, he went to the convenience store to buy something for his little brother. He wore a ski mask, but the clerk was not alarmed. She recognized him. He was a regular customer. He suffered from anemia, and the mask helped him stay warm. It also helped him overcome his fear of strangers.

He didn’t do anything wrong. He was not suspected of committing a crime. He had not threatened or menaced anyone; to do so would be completely at odds with his gentle nature.

As he walked home from the store that evening listening to music in his headphones, a man saw him walking. The man called 911 to report a “suspicious” person. When the the 911 operator asked if the caller had seen any weapons, he said no.

Three police officers arrived promptly and ordered the awkward young man in the ski mask to stop. He explained that he was walking home. The police officers grabbed him and held him without provocation. They didn’t question him first, and to their knowledge, he had committed no crime. They accused him of “acting suspicious.”

Suspicion is in the mind of the beholder. He was different. He was socially awkward. His attire was unusual. 

The young man panicked and struggled. The police subdued him with a choke hold. The young man passed out briefly. When he came to, he was terrified. He didn’t understand why the police were hurting him. He explained who he was. He offered to show them his ID. He threw up a few times and told the officers that he was having trouble breathing. The officers told him to “chill out.”

The officers called for “more units” to come to the scene. Apparently, this small, frail man was more than three trained, armed police officers could handle. They also called an ambulance. When the EMTs arrived, the police asked them to sedate this whimpering, desperate, anemic kid with an injection of ketamine, a powerful sedative. 

Under the influence of the drug, this gentle young man’s heart stopped. The EMTs applied CPR. Over the next few days, the young man suffered a number of health crises that left him brain dead. His family took him off of life support, and he slipped away.

Think about your own family. Think about the families of people you know. Think of someone in one of those families who is a little bit different, someone who is gentle and kind but presents themselves in a way that strangers might find initially confusing. 

Imagine that someone in the community saw this person that you know walking down the street and called 911 to report a “suspicious character.”

Imagine the police arriving and subduing that person with a brutal choke hold without first talking to them to understand who they are and assess whether they posed a threat.

Imagine the police taking the extraordinary measure to have the person sedated with a powerful chemical despite the fact that they are not doctors and possess no understanding of the person’s medical history.

Imagine a family losing a kind, loving person forever due to a callous and completely unnecessary use of force.

(In memory of Elijah McClain)

Challenge

A challenge is life’s greatest teacher.

Statues and Monuments

125,000 Americans die from a virus, and the president takes action to save statues.

Russian Bounty On American Troops

The Russian government paid the Taliban to kill American troops.

Let that sink in. Russia offered bounties on the heads of American soldiers and marines serving in Afghanistan, and they have actually paid out money for confirmed kills.

We have witnessed some shocking events in recent years, but I don’t recall anything that rises to this level. The question is, now that we know, what are we going to do about it?

Mr. Trump was briefed on this issue in March of this year. His advisers presented him with a menu of retaliatory actions from a stern letter to the Kremlin to the implementation of new sanctions. Mr. Trump did nothing. He opted not to retaliate. Instead, he handed Mr. Putin a huge gift by announcing that the US would withdraw ALL of its troops from Germany, a move that will provide Russia with an enormous strategic advantage in the region. 

One question remains. What are WE going to do about it in November?

Seen On The Highway

Seen on the highway:

Bumper sticker on a minivan: I USED TO BE COOL

People standing around a car surrounded by tall weeds after it skidded from the left lane, across the right lane and the shoulder and down a steep embankment. 

A guy riding a Harley in the rain in a T-shirt and jeans, no helmet or coveralls. (He was wearing sunglasses.) A small trunk on the back read: N.Y.P.D.

Fantasy Option

In life we deal 

With what we have 

And what we can afford 

To lose

In a fantasy 

Every option is free 

I’m Proud Of You

I’m proud of everyone who is taking the pandemic seriously, of all of the individuals and businesses who are doing everything that they can to keep themselves and others safe. I’m proud of everyone who implements and follows social distancing protocols. I’m proud of everyone who wears a mask for their own protection and for the greater good. I am proud of every individual, every business, and every community that has sacrificed to keep this horrible disease from spreading. Keep up the good work. The fight is not over, but we can survive and prosper if we all work together.

It’s Up To You

It won’t happen until you do it, exist until you create it, or improve until you fix it.

When To Give Up

It can be wasteful to remain faithful to something that no longer serves you, but it’s tragic to give up on something simply because you didn’t understand it.

Tedious Brilliance

There are few experiences more tedious than listening to someone try to convince you that they’re brilliant.

Dreams In The Key Of F

I dream in the key of F. I dream of friends, family, fun, frustration, flying, fear of falling, fantastic felonies, and the farcical foolishness of forgetting to wear my pants.

Outrage

I feel sorry for people for whom outrage is the first reaction. It’s impossible to think clearly once negative emotions take over.

Good Cops Are Frustrated

The good cops are frustrated. People are judging them for the actions of a few bad apples in their ranks. Suddenly, the police understand how it feels to be profiled.

Random Thoughts - 20200609

Random Thoughts - 20200609

It’s okay to have morning sex with a night person. They’ll be happy to rock your world at two o’clock in the morning.

When someone says, “I mean it this time,” ask them why they didn’t mean it the last time.

People who argue passionately about protecting their rights are rarely passionate about protecting yours.

When chaos hits, beware of an uptick in bullshit. It starts to come out of the woodwork.

I’m way beyond “What day is this?” I’ve graduated to “What month is this?”

If you need to be addicted to something, coffee has its advantages.

New Zealand’s Amazing Success

New Zealand is down to ZERO active cases of COVID-19. No cases in the hospitals. No one in isolation. Today (Monday, 8 June), they opened their economy completely. No social distancing. No masks. Restaurants, stores, beauty parlors, all open for business. Maybe if the United States had a female President like New Zealand does, we would be down to zero cases, too. Instead, our pathetic excuse for national leadership lied and stalled while our country rocketed to LAST PLACE in the COVID-19 death race.

Defunding The Police

As protests over police brutality and legal accountability have swept the nation and the world, some activists have floated the idea of defunding the police. So far, no one has been clear on what this means. Are they proposing to cut police budgets altogether? Such a drastic move would seem highly irresponsible. The police perform a vital function in a functioning society. 

Can you imagine spending time in an American city without a police force? Who would maintain order in such a scenario, i.e. who would ensure that stores are not looted and property is not being burned for amusement? Should the critical function of keeping the peace be left to untrained vigilantes or unaccountable, unidentified gangs of neighborhood thugs? Disorder and massive suffering would be inescapable; it would be an economic and humanitarian disaster.

That said, the United States has too many police officers. Yes, I said it, because it’s true. I you have traveled abroad, you know what I’m talking about. 

In Europe, you’ll see plenty of police officers, but they tend to be where they need to be, e.g. directing traffic or protecting important important buildings. When you drive in Europe, especially on the highways or on country roads, you rarely see a police officer unless they are tending to an accident. In the US, traffic cops lurk around every corner like spiders ready to feast upon your checkbook. 

Policing in the United States has become predatory and excessively revenue driven. Police offices see it as their duty to interrupt any person at any time, forcing citizens to explain themselves or pay a fee that towns and cities eagerly deposit into their coffers. It’s oppressive and largely unnecessary. Well-placed traffic cameras would be enough to ensure that people are driving the speed limit and obeying traffic signals. We can survive without an army of ticket-writers monitoring all of our movements in hopes of a roadside or curbside shakedown.

That said, as to defunding the police, I am against this idea on principle. It is an ill-conceived overreaction to a series of problems that cannot be solved simply by ripping up the budget. It would be like defunding hospitals just because they lost a number of patients to COVID-19. Cutting the budget is a knee-jerk reaction not going to serve the public health or the public safety. 

That said, police forces in the US should be streamlined and reorganized. There’s an enormous economic cost to having an independent police force in Every Town, USA. It’s virtually impossible to standardize procedures and coordinate training across such a vast array of jurisdictions. With more comprehensive training and clearer procedures, policing effectiveness can be increased, and some of the issues that resulted in the protests can be addressed in a positive way. 

Further, predatory revenue generation by ticketing is a practice that needs to be abolished. Police in the US have been encouraged to instigate unnecessary interactions with the public in search of a windfall. This has led to over-policing and an unnecessarily combative relationship helps neither the police or the community. It helps only the bean counters at City Hall.

How It Works

How it works.

5,000 people attend a protest. Three of them get into a fight with police. The news broadcasts video of the fight, ignoring the 4,997 citizens who marched peacefully. Video of the fight is shown over and over and over again, because the news is a for-profit business, drama is good for ratings, and ratings generate revenue.

People talk about the fight (by three protesters, not the other 4,997) because drama is exciting, and everyone wants to share the news with their friends. 

“Did you see what happened?” 

“Yes. 4,997 people protested peacefully.”

“No! Not that! The important thing!”

Clips and images of the fight go viral on social media. Opportunistic politicians make speeches about “getting tough” and “restoring order,” even if they have to curtail freedoms in order to do it. They refer to the protesters as “thugs” and “agitators” in order to gather support for a forcible crackdown.

And so your civil rights get thrown into a dumpster because the media and the politicians focused on a small number of people who caused trouble while ignoring the nearly five thousand citizens who were out protesting in a way that our founding fathers encouraged and held in such regard that they encoded protections into the Constitution to ensure that we can do it.

The question is, do you want to defend the Constitution, or do you want to give up all of your rights because a handful of rabble rousers caused some trouble while a whole lot of your fellow citizens were out peacefully participating in Democracy?

Honor The Memory

I’m not going to honor someone’s memory by doing nothing. I’ll honor them by doing my very best and hoping that it’s enough.