South Of Someplace: September 2019

Monday, September 30, 2019

Time For Bed

Not much needs to be said

When it’s time for bed

New York Minute 160 - Fare Dash

This is one of those moments that paints a vivid picture of the day to day experience of living in New York. Anyone who’s spent time here will be able to relate to it.

As I descended into one of the local subway stations yesterday morning, an electronic sign indicated that my train would be arriving in one minute. Perfect timing! I had that jackpot feeling knowing that I wouldn’t have to wait around for a train.

Unfortunately, my smooth running plan got complicated when I swiped my Metro Card at the turnstile and the display flashed the words INSUFFICIENT FARE.

“Great job, numbskull! Why didn’t you recharge your card during the week?”

I dashed over to the fare machines and pressed buttons frantically as I heard my train rumble into the station. I added twenty dollars to my card and dashed through the turnstile. I still had to run down a staircase to reach the track level, and I didn’t think that I was going to make it.

Luckily, the doors stayed open a little longer than normal. I made it to the train before they closed. As I was dashing across the platform, I notice that an old man with a cane doing his best to hurry down the stairs behind me. I wedged my body in the doorway so the doors could close. Once the man was down the stairs on safely on the car, I stepped all the way in, and we were on our way.

It’s in exciting little moments like these, especially in situations where you end up helping someone, or when a stranger helps you, when you come face to face with the inexplicable magic of living in this great city.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

New York Minute 159 - Leaky Bus Stop

The weather was quite warm last evening given that it’s the end of September. As I as walking up one of the avenues, I passed a bar with tables on the sidewalk. One of the patrons, a young guy, stepped away from his table, walked over to a covered bus stop that was just a few feet away, and started urinating. In addition to leaving a big puddle of urine on the concrete, he managed to spray part of the bench in the process.

Why? Well, I have to admit that wondered that myself. I guess that walking into the establishment and using the official, and I assume functioning, toilet facilities that they provided seemed like too much of a waste of time and effort to this leaky chap, so he went into male dog mode and marked disputed territory.

Going forward, he’ll have no dispute with me. I’m not going to sit on that bench.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Tonight

Where you are tonight

I cannot know

But my heart

Still feels you

Haiku 101

Five syllables per

Line, except the second one

Which should have seven

Days Of September

Magical

Days Of September

Wonderful

We’ve still got a month

‘til November

Love Like Crazy

When you fall in love with someone

Whom you would never leave

For anyone else

For any reason

You know that you have found

True love

Or you’re an obsessive maniac

But since being in love

Is being obsessed

With someone

Who adores and returns

Your obsession

It’s okay

Everything should be fine

As long as it’s genuine

And - very important - reciprocal

Go ahead

Obsess over them

Love them like crazy

Cherish every second

That you have together

And appreciate your blessings

And good fortune

If you have someone like that

In your life

Someone who adores you

Finds joy in your imperfections

And earnestly years

For as much time together

As possible

Then

Luck has smiled upon you

In a very special and

Extremely precious way

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Old School New School

Old School

New School

Be prepared to break the rules

Any method

Any tools

As long as the results are cool

And meaningful to you

Confidence And Arrogance

There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance. You won’t get far until you cross it.

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Face It

Face it. On some days you’re just more awesome than usual.

I’m Not Greedy

I’m not greedy. I don’t want your stuff. But I want my stuff, and I want it bad!

Monday, September 23, 2019

Daily Schedule

That’s how my days go. I arrive at my desk at eight in the morning, handle a flurry of urgent requests, and the next thing I know, it’s three o’clock, I’m starving, and I’m less than a third of the way through my to do list.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Happy Birthday, Pop!

Today is my grandfather’s birthday. I think about him often; I am now the age that he was when I was born. He was a big, strong man a full head of gray hair, wire-rimmed glasses, and a perpetual twinkle in his eyes. He was a soft-spoken, conscientious person - I doubt that he ever so much as jaywalked - but he had a playful, sometimes mischievous wit that could fascinate a roomful of kids.

I spent a lot of weekends with my grandparents. My mom needed to offload me sometimes in order to take care of the house and my three younger siblings. I didn’t mind. My grandparents’ place was fascinating. They lived in the country on a property with sprawling lawns, a large vegetable garden, two groves of pine trees, and several immaculately tended flower gardens. One of the neighbors at the back of their place had an apple orchard and another big garden. These folks had lived through the Great Depression. They didn’t take for granted that you could always run out and buy food. They grew their own.

Beyond the developed properties were woodlands that seemed mysterious and a bit frightening. We never ventured into those woods unless our parents went with us, but being on the edge of the forest added to the bucolic mystique of the area.

In the summers, my grandmother spent a lot of time canning vegetables. All year long, she baked pies and cookies and cakes and prepared wonderful meals for the whole family. My parents would bring the little ones over for dinner on Sundays, and we would all go back home together. My grandmother’s kitchen was always producing wonderful aromas. To this day, I can feel the smell and the taste of her cooking.

My grandfather had an extensive collection of tools and gadgets in his basement workshop. As a young boy, I found it fascinating if a bit overwhelming. He must have collected every kind of saw, axe, hammer, chisel, wrench, pliers, and screwdriver throughout his life. I remember feeling overwhelmed when I went downstairs to see what he was working on, but he would always explain what he was doing and tell me that the tools were called (and which ones I shouldn’t handle). I don’t thing there was anything that my grandfather couldn’t take apart, fix, and put back together as good as new if not better.

My favorite of all of his gadgets was the lawn tractor. When I was old enough to operate it safely, let me drive it around the years. When I was a bit older, he let me mow the lawns. He also used the tractor to prepare the garden and haul items around the property in a little green wagon that he had built. One of the tractor’s attachable implements was a rototiller. It must have been one of the first commercially available rototillers, but that was my grandfather.

My grandparents had a big influence on me. I would not be the person that I am today if I hadn’t spent those fun, relaxed weekends with them. My grandfather loved gadgets; I’m sure that his example inspired the gadget freak in me. He and my grandfather always worked hard and kept busy. They didn’t spend their time idly, so I probably have them to thank for my work ethic.

My grandfather taught me to be responsible and decisive, but also caring and fair. He instilled in me the value of caring for your tools and knowing how to use them. He encouraged me to always be engaged in something productive every day, to take care of the house and the family, to be respectful to people and to value long-standing friendships. And he encouraged me to brighten my life by following my passions. My grandfather enjoyed stamp collecting, and in the evenings after a hard day of working on some project, he would wind down by watching baseball games on an impressively large color television set. On top of the television was a mechanical clock under glass that he treasured. Work hard every day, and enjoy your passions along the way. That was his greatest lesson to me.

My grandmother was a huge influence in my life, as well. She was the kindest and most caring person that I have ever met. In addition to cooking for us, she always had projects to keep us entertained when we came over to her house. Sometimes, it was something very simple, like planting seeds and then coming back week after week to watch the plants grow. She always had coloring books and puzzles for us to play with. One of her favorite projects was to have us cut pictures out of magazines and newspapers and glue them into a scrapbook. Sometimes, she made the scrapbooks herself by binding loose sheets of paper together. We pasted the picture in with Elmer’s glue. I still remember the smell of that stuff. I remember her scrubbing it off of our fingers when it dried on.

No matter what we did, she was always there encouraging us in gentle and supportive ways. She never scolded us; she never had to. She paid attention to us and talked to us and showered us with love and care. We had no reason to be bored or fidgety.

They were two beautiful, loving souls, my grandmother and grandfather. I am a richer, happier, better person for having spent time with them when I was young. I am so grateful that I had that experience.

Happy Birthday, Pop! See you in Heaven one of these days.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Study Of Photography

People sometimes ask if I’ve studied photography. I studied the photography in Playboy. Does that count?

Old Men In Hats

We used to laugh at the old men who drove around town wearing hats, but those guys always looked sharp. They didn’t wait for a special occasion to dress up. They were dapper and presentable no matter where they went.

By comparison, people today dress like slobs. They look like they start their day in a dumpster of irregulars behind a second-rate strip mall. I miss the class that men used to exude. I miss those hats.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Going Crazy

I went crazy when Trump won. I feel that I should apologize to my Trump supporting friends, because I’m still crazy.

A Second Chance

I would give almost anyone a second chance. An earnest chance to rebuilding a fractured or neglected connection seems worth the risk. What surprises me is how rare it is for someone to ask.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

So Ridiculous

When someone says something so ridiculous that it’s not worth discussing, smile, say nothing, remain calm, and if possible, fart.

Nothing Is What You Think It Is

Nothing is what you think it is until you try it.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Environmental Malignancy

Here is a list of the “accomplishments” of the Environmental Protection Agency under the Trump Administration:

- Approved construction of the Keystone XL oil pipeline (previously blocked)

- Approved the use of a pesticide that it had formerly banned due to the dangers that it poses to humans

- Approved drilling and mining on public lands

- Withdrew from the Paris Climate Accord

- Restricted the time line for the study of climate change to twenty years in the future (not beyond)

- Proposed opening Alaska’s Tongass rain forest to logging and mining. (The Tongass is one of the world’s biggest carbon-gobbling systems, an important defense against global warming.)

- Reversed clean water standards established under President Obama

- Told the automotive industry to ignore former mileage standards

- When the manufacturers said that they preferred to adhere to stricter California emissions standards, the EPA revoked California’s ability to set such standards.

And now they are pushing a return to older lightbulb technology. You remember those lightbulbs. They were hot, brittle, and they burned out after a couple of months. Why would anyone want to return to them given the more efficient and longer lasting LED and fluorescent lights that are available today?

The bigger questions is why are they pushing any of this? I can understand them wanting to give the fossil fuel industry more opportunities to make profits - it seems that every US president is beholden to the oil, gas, and coal industries - but most of these policies are extreme even by pro-business and anti-regulation standards.

For example, the American auto manufacturers don’t want relaxed emissions standards. They have made a lot of progress in this area and see no reason to go backward. They see regression as a competitive disadvantage, as foreign manufacturers will continue to push toward meeting higher emissions standards set abroad.

It seems to be driven by a malignant personality defect, the petty whims of a miserable, self-loathing individual with a flagrant disregard for anything that does not serve his immediate personal interests. I’ll bet that when he was a kid, that individual didn’t go to other kids’ houses to play and have fun. He went there with contempt in his heart, with an intent to break the kid’s toys, eat his candy, steal his lunch money, kick his dog, and torment his little sister before telling everyone that the kid was a loser, and that he went over there only because he felt sorry for him. That’s the level of shockingly mean-spirited, self-aggrandizing assholery to which the leadership of the United States government has stooped.

Monday, September 16, 2019

New York Minute 158 - Morning Muscle

With a busy week ahead, I decided to go into the office early last Monday. I was walking to the subway a little before seven, when I saw a woman walking down the block in sweat pants and a sleeveless top. I assumed that she was coming from the gym that’s about half a block up the street. I also gathered that she was a serious bodybuilder; her triceps put mine to shame.

The muscular lady descended into the same subway station, but once on the platform, she walked in a different direction, and I didn’t see her again. I did think about her later in the day, when it struck me that while I thought that my day was starting early, I was a latecomer compared to this lady. She had probably been working out for an hour or two by the time that I walked out of my building. I admired her dedication.

If you’re serious about reaching a goal, you have to be willing to work hard for it. That requires scheduling dedicated time to it, even if you have to get up early or stay up late to manage it. Clearly, this lady achieved amazing results with her early morning workouts. I have the greatest admiration for anyone who works hard and makes sacrifices to achieve something that’s important to them.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Two Warehouses

When a relationship ends, whether it’s a professional relationship or a personal one, the breakup is often accompanied by frustration, disappointment, and other powerful negative emotions. If we don’t manage those emotions effectively, they will cloud the memory of all of our experiences with our former partners. We may be tempted to attribute negative qualities to them as a way of coping with the shock of losing our connection with them. We might be tempted to call them unflattering names and say bad things about them to others.

Disparaging our former partners might seem to make sense on some emotional level, but it’s not helpful in the long run, and it probably isn’t particularly fair. If we spent a considerable amount of time with them, we probably did so because we enjoyed the experience, or at least benefitted from it.

A better approach is to separate the body of the relationship from the end of it. Imagine two large warehouses. In one warehouse, store all of the artifacts of the breakup, the disappointment, the shock, the broken promises and missed expectations, the grief, your reaction to it and the time that it took to put it behind you.

In the other warehouse, store memories of the good times that you had with your former partner or associates, the adventures, the successes, the laughs, the thrills, the meaningful moments, the heartfelt conversations, the trust that you developed by facing challenges together, and all manner of uplifting and memorable experiences.

Now, in your hand, you have the keys to both warehouses. You can visit either one of them anytime you want, but you can’t be in both of them at the same time.

Which one would you like to visit today? Which place would be better for your soul? Do you want to go back and relive all of the pain and frustration that you felt when things ended? Or do you want to remember a long list of good experiences with a great team or a uniquely special person?

The choice is yours.

Refuse To Take Abuse

Refuse to put up with anybody’s abuse. But first, save some money, update your résumé and your contact lists, because you’re probably going to get fired. Putting up with abuse is a condition of employment.

Being Stuck

Change is uncomfortable. Standing up for yourself is frightening, but being stuck in a bad situation is the most uncomfortable fate of all.

Take Control

Nothing will change until you take control.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Blame

Blame is a waste of energy. No one gets to go back and change past. Things happened the way they happened. Learn from the experience and focus on making things better going forward. That’s the best option we have.

Friday, September 6, 2019

Answers Will Come

When your soul is ready

The answers will come

Embrace them with reverence

Or off they will run

Thursday, September 5, 2019

I’ll Miss Summer

I’ll miss summer in the city

The people in the park

The green and lovely plant life

The warm air after dark

The air conditioned buildings

The fairs on blocked off streets

The melons and the ice cream

Hot nights on thinnest sheets

Unhurried walks on weekends

Avoiding sleeping bums

The roaches on the sidewalk

And rancid garbage trucks

The oppressive, steamy weather

Jaywalking toward the shade

But I’ll be here

Throughout the year

Where the grandest dreams are made

Monday, September 2, 2019

The Friend Zone

A guy was out for a walk with one of his close female friends when he decided to ask a bold question about their future.

“Do you think that we’ll ever have sex?”

The question came as a surprise to his friend. She thought it best to clarify what he was asking before offering her response.

“You mean, like, you and me, together?”

“Yeah,” the guy confirmed sheepishly. He feared that he may have overstepped the bounds of their friendship and began to formulate an apology in his mind. To his surprise, her answer was quite agreeable.

“Oh, I could see that happening a number of times!” she replied as she smiled back at him warmly.

“Really?” This was not the response that he’d expected. He couldn’t believe his good fortune.

“Sure!” the lady remarked without hesitation. “Zero is a number.”

Accomplishment

It won’t matter that a person is smart, talented, educated, charming, wealthy, well connected, good looking, well intentioned, or faithful. They won’t accomplish much if they’re lazy.