Dating Nerds

I’ll admit it, I’ve always been a nerd. I dated nerdy women in college. There was Theta, the math major. She was angling to go out with me for a while; one day, I asked about her sine. Once we started dating, she had one constant demand: prove our congruence. I postulated that some things couldn’t be proven, that there are too many independent variables. She became negative. I sensed that we were approaching a limit. She had always been rather calculating, and the relationship diverged exponentially.

Then there was the electrical engineer, Milli Amp. She was a live wire. She knew how to light up a room. The sparks flew when we were together, but I didn’t have the capacity for her resistance. There were also some AC/DC issues that I couldn’t rectify. I had to insulate myself until she was no longer current.

Next, I dated Joule, the physics major. I liked Joule. Everything about her was elegant and clearly defined. Our relationship stayed on a nice trajectory as long as I didn’t attempt to estimate her mass. Unfortunately, Joule didn’t really love me. One night, she ran off with Kelvin. He made an exaggerated comment about oscillatory motion that unfortunately really resonated with her. I thought that she would be repulsed - they were polar opposites - but their magnetism was strong, and she quickly fell out of my orbit.

They were on quite a vector, those two! Their integration had no bounds. I asked her later what the differential was. She said that she considered me a first-order guy, steady and constant. But Kelvin had a higher power that made him more unpredictable. Everything accelerated when he was with her, and their actions produced a lot of heat.

I was in free fall. I had to accept the gravity of the situation. In this universe, even love is subject to entropy. It starts out with great momentum, but unless you’re willing to work and apply force, it loses energy. The darkness seemed infinite until that evening when I found myself in a pub talking to a cute chemistry major from Brazil. Her name was Giselle Bunsen. We bonded over blends of organic compounds until we were no longer able to operate an internal combustion vehicle safely. Luckily, her place was within walking distance. Luckier still, her couch was just steps away from a functioning hydrodynamic waste disposal unit.

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