Disappointment

I experienced an overwhelming moment of clarity over the weekend. All at once, memories of all of the times that I have disappointed someone came racing back into my mind like a cold and fast-rising tide, an earthquake of emotion driven by decades of neglected internal tension. 

I thought of Shakespeare, of Hamlet's hopeless request to Ophelia, the object of his desire: "Nymph, in thy orisons, be all my sins remembered." Unfortunately, knowing the passage didn't make me feel any better.