The Professional Critic
Criticizes anything, everything, and every one, regardless of whether they have demonstrated any aptitude of their own.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, criticize.
Super power - Knows everything.
Bottom line - A frustrated loser.
The Referee
A stickler for rules, this troll is quick to point out when you've violated some element of decorum in your interactions with others. Sometimes they'll cite a general guideline (avoid ad hominem attacks), but more often their complaint is rooted in the vaguely defined customs of a particular interest group or Internet community).
Super power - Memorized the unwritten rule book in its entirety. Pounces promptly on every violation.
Bottom line - Even this person's friends don't enjoy spending time with him.
The Misquoter
Not the most logical debater. Question the efficacy of some law, and the troll accuses you of being anti-police (or a coddler of criminals). Question a government policy, and you hate your country. Point out that Jesus wasn't really all that interested in obeying the law, and you're accused of being anti-Christian.
Super power - Thinks of very creative things for you not to have said.
Bottom line - Even Jesus didn't like to be misquoted.
The Glass Homeowner
This troll loves to hurl insults but cries foul when others retaliate in kind. Dishes it out but can't take it.
Super power - Sensitive, but in a grindingly annoying way.
Bottom line - Personality issues.
The Sore Leaver
That's it! They've HAD it! They are NOT going to put up with this discussion any longer. They're LEAVING!
Just one problem - the troll doesn't actually leave. They hang around so they can threaten to leave over and over again.
Super power - Predictability.
Bottom line - Full of crap.
Captain Irrational
Tense. Irritable. Ideological. Inflexible.
This troll sees the world as they want to see it. Facts and logic aren't going to change their mind. Ever. Trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time.
Super power - Consistency. Impervious to the effects of empirical observation.
Bottom line - Perpetually tiresome.
Copyright © 2014 Daniel R. South
Super power - Knows everything.
Bottom line - A frustrated loser.
The Referee
A stickler for rules, this troll is quick to point out when you've violated some element of decorum in your interactions with others. Sometimes they'll cite a general guideline (avoid ad hominem attacks), but more often their complaint is rooted in the vaguely defined customs of a particular interest group or Internet community).
Super power - Memorized the unwritten rule book in its entirety. Pounces promptly on every violation.
Bottom line - Even this person's friends don't enjoy spending time with him.
The Misquoter
Not the most logical debater. Question the efficacy of some law, and the troll accuses you of being anti-police (or a coddler of criminals). Question a government policy, and you hate your country. Point out that Jesus wasn't really all that interested in obeying the law, and you're accused of being anti-Christian.
Super power - Thinks of very creative things for you not to have said.
Bottom line - Even Jesus didn't like to be misquoted.
The Glass Homeowner
This troll loves to hurl insults but cries foul when others retaliate in kind. Dishes it out but can't take it.
Super power - Sensitive, but in a grindingly annoying way.
Bottom line - Personality issues.
The Sore Leaver
That's it! They've HAD it! They are NOT going to put up with this discussion any longer. They're LEAVING!
Just one problem - the troll doesn't actually leave. They hang around so they can threaten to leave over and over again.
Super power - Predictability.
Bottom line - Full of crap.
Captain Irrational
Tense. Irritable. Ideological. Inflexible.
This troll sees the world as they want to see it. Facts and logic aren't going to change their mind. Ever. Trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time.
Super power - Consistency. Impervious to the effects of empirical observation.
Bottom line - Perpetually tiresome.
Copyright © 2014 Daniel R. South
All Rights Reserved
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