South Of Someplace: June 2014

Monday, June 30, 2014

Hobby-Lobby and the US Supreme Court

Regarding the US Supreme Court's controversial Hobby-Lobby decision:

I wonder when some fundamentalist Christian business owner will decide that he shouldn't have to pay for health insurance for Jews. That will be an interesting situation for the courts to litigate - now that they've stepped in it.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Soccer Pansies

I've always found soccer to be a rather dull sport. But the shameless theatrics by grown men pretending to be injured in order to gain the favor of the referees, that's just pathetically unmanly.

I've been kicked harder on a dance floor. And I wasn't wearing shin guards. Guess what? I kept dancing. Shut up and play football, you overpaid pansies!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

How People Accept Bad Ideas

Bad ideas. People have them all of the time. Any in so many instances, they don't realize when it's a bad idea.

We've all experienced that pricelessly awkward moment when someone tells us about their Next Big Plan, and it turns out to be something that's laughably stupid and pathetically unachievable.

But don't try to reason with them! They'll beam blissfully as they explain why the plan is a sure bet. Any attempt at a rational analysis of their chances will be dismissed, and they'll scoff at our negativity. Not having a prayer of success doesn't seem to bother them.

In this moment, I find myself wondering how the person arrived at their current state of delusion. They have stumbled into a void of reason - but how? Did it happen in a flash of misguided inspiration? Or did they build up to is, one questionable idea at a time?

What need drove them to consider something so irresponsible and foolhardy? What temptation blinded them to probabilities that seem obvious to just about everyone else? Were advisors involved in putting ideas into their heads, irresponsible friends or colleagues? Authors of books that don't hold up to scrutiny?

Why is the human mind, with its incomparable power for processing information and making decisions, capable of making disastrous decisions and doing so eagerly?

It's fascinating, but when it happens to our friends and loved ones, it's nothing short of tragic.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Government Based On Religion

Some people think that governmental policies should be based on religion.

To those people I say: Fine! Let's test that approach!

Let's set up a government based on religion - some religion other than your own - and let's see how you like living under that system, for say, the next thirty or forty years.

Somehow, they're never enthusiastic about that idea. Maybe there's a reason why religious organizations shouldn't be allow to meddle in public policy decisions.

Mi Casa

There's a saying in Mexico: Mi casa no es su casa.

¿Por qué esta Usted en mi casa, pendejo? Vamos antes de que el perro muerde a su culo gordo. ¡Idiota!

At least, I think that's what they say in Mexico. I might have to check the spelling...

Minty

I love the dentist's office. Everything tastes so minty. It almost takes the misery out of root canal work.

Enjoy Every Day

Find something to enjoy

In every day

Before your chances
Slip away

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

The Rewrite

Never let anyone read what you write. Let them read what you rewrite. Avoid this rule only when you want to give the impression of being sloppy, lazy, or inept.

Internet Trolls

Don't feed the trolls!

Just keep saying it over and over and over as you surf the web -

Don't feed the trolls!

There's nothing to gain by getting worked up and stooping to their level. It's simply a waste of time.

Having Confidence In Your Dreams

Chase your dreams. You might not be able to achieve all of them in this one lifetime, but you should shoot for as many as you can. Fulfillment is rooted in what we do and what we have done, not in what we once hoped to accomplish.

As you chase your dreams, it's important to maintain the conviction that you can and will achieve them. Is this confidence or foolishness? That depends on how your approach it.

If you plan carefully, if you prepare diligently, if you listen to and act upon the counsel of qualified advisors, if you do all of these things, you'll increase your chances of success and you can proceed with confidence.

That doesn't mean that you'll succeed. Things can happen.

Perhaps you misjudged the quality of an opportunity.

Perhaps you overestimated the level of your own preparedness.

Perhaps you were operating with insufficient information or relied on unhelpful assumptions.

Nothing in life is a sure bet. Even the best plan doesn't insulate you from the potential of failure. But it increases your chances of success significantly. So, why not do it?

Confidence is rooted in preparation and in an accurate perception of your abilities and your progress.

Foolishness is rooted in a desire to reach a goal without understanding what it will take to do so.

It's your dream. Don't waste it by being unprepared or by chasing it on a whim. Take time to think through what you need to do to reach your goal. Plan carefully and revise the plan as often as necessary.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Suits and Ties

Sometimes my younger colleagues ask why I wear a suit and tie every day when "business casual" is now the accepted dress code in most offices. I encourage them to watch 'Mad Men'.

I didn't work in an office in the 1960's, but my role models did. It was a different era with a more formal sense of business attire. Excuse me if I avoid joining the Hawaiian shirt crowd - even on Hawaiian Shirt Day.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Father's Day

The finest job that I've ever had
Is the one where I get to be called "Dad."

My dearest, sweetest, greatest honor
Is to live this life as someone's father.

French

Oui, ah gaht to speak some Fwench today, wiss an outrageous accent and evweesing! C'est tres chic, n'est-ce pas?

Monday, June 9, 2014

June

June is a beautiful month in the Northeastern USA. The days are long, the sun is warm, and most evenings remain at a mild temperature. Children, just out of school, flock to pools and ponds and beaches.

The trees and grass are green and lush after drinking in the bountiful spring rains. Fields of clover and summer wildflowers appear. Crops and gardens sprout as farmers harvest endless acres of hay. New calves and foals race and frolic for the first time through velvet pastures.

In the latter half of the month, the fireflies appear and cast their magic spell each day as the sun fades into the western sky. I can't imagine a more lovely place on all of the Earth.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Why I Don't Listen To CDs Anymore

Today, I realized why I don't listen to CDs as often as I used to.

No, it's not because of MP3 players. I hate the sound of MP3 compression. It makes the drums and cymbals sound horrible.

No, it's not because of YouTube. YouTube suffers from similar data compression artifacts, and I can't watch videos while I'm driving.

The real reason why I don't listen to CDs very often anymore? I can't read the print on the boxes. Without glasses and a flashlight, I can't tell one disc from another when they're sitting on my bookshelf.

The Unworthy Person of the Month

How many times have you heard someone say, "___ sucks!" where the blank is the name of some well-known person? It might be an entertainer - singers and musical acts in particular have a way of drawing this type of comment. It might be a politician, an athlete, or perhaps a rival sports team or the city that hosts such a team.

"So-and-so sucks!" is such a common exclamation in daily conversation that we scarcely think about it's significance or the motivating forces behind it. Let's take a moment to examine those dynamics.

Is the comment well deserved? Does this person merit widespread disdain? Do they deserve to have perfect strangers using their name as a punch line?

If the person is a musician, what percentage of the people who claim to "hate their music" have actually listened to one of their albums end to end? Or did they hear one overplayed "hit" song, see an image that they didn't particularly care for, and bump on the "He sucks!" bandwagon?

We all know that it's not nice to make fun of people. Why are we so ready and willing to disparage celebrities whom we have never met and about whose lives we know very little?

Societies cultivate targets for their disdain. The heard deems someone as unworthy, and then everyone feels free to chime in and pile on.

"Join us in insulting the Unworthy Person of the Month!" says the herd. "Feel better about yourself by pretending that someone else is inferior to you. Don't worry about the fact that that person has accomplished things that you never have and probably never will! We, The Masses have deemed them unworthy! Join us!"

It's a sociological game of sorts, albeit an ugly one. Step 1 - Identify the unworthy among us - the weakling, the oddball, the infidel, or the person who seems to have enjoyed too much fame too fast. Step 2 - Gain a sense of satisfaction and connection with your peers by insulting the designated person pointlessly. Step 3 - Repeat until the herd designates a new object of disdain.

This is the same mindset that spurs children to torment the weak kid at the playground or ostracize a classmate who seems strange and distant. Such behavior might be perceived as bullying if it goes on unchecked. Insulting celebrities is the sanitized adult version of the same behavior. And for some reason, it's socially acceptable.

Friday, June 6, 2014

The Illusion of Assurance

Have you ever received relationship advice from someone - not just a joke or a remark made in passing, but those real, deep conversations about what works and what doesn't and what you should be doing? And then the person who gave you the advice ended up being divorced or out of a relationship a couple of years later?

People love to believe that they have all of the answers, that their experience has provided them with uncommon wisdom, even when they don't know much at all. Perhaps it's a psychological defense mechanism. If we couldn't pump ourselves up with a sense of certainty, even when we don't understand a situation very well, we would never have the confidence to go out and do things and take chances. It's only though living life and taking chances that we gain wisdom.

But even when we have amassed considerable experience, life will still present us with surprises. Big, humiliating surprises that we never could have foreseen. Perhaps the most important thing that we can ever learn is a sense of humility.

The Past

Live long or live fast -

You'll never outrun your past

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Crazy Night

Crazy night. On the way back from my weekly excursion to the suburbs, I passed a morbidly obese homeless gent who was shaking something vigorously in his hand. He asked me if I had two dollars and whether I would like to buy some aerosol cans.

The train arrived in the city just as Penn Station was being evacuated. No reason was given. I filed out in the midst of a large, nervous mob.

As I walked toward the subway, I passed a man in a suit throwing up an enormous pile of vomit in front of a restaurant at 32nd and Fifth. His friend, a woman, urged him to be careful to avoid ssoiling his shoes. Something must be in the air.

Canines To The Rescue!

Here's a practical idea for today's connected world.

How about guide dogs for people who are too busy texting to watch where they're going?

Why Men Have Difficulty When Talking To Women

Men sometimes have difficulty communicating when they speak to a woman. This is completely understandable. It's not easy to concentrate on three things at once.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Bra Logic

Steve Harvey did a comedy routine about women and how they can't wait to take their brassieres off at the end of the day. They complain that bras are uncomfortable.

Being a guy, I always seek a logical solution. "Why don't you just go out without a bra if you don't like wearing them?" I have posed this question to a number of ladies. Their response is universally negative. They claim that it would be uncomfortable to walk around all day without a bra.

Okay, ladies - which is it? Is it uncomfortable to wear a bra? Or is it uncomfortable to NOT wear one? Or do you just like to complain about your underwear?

Bad Passenger

They say that doctors make the worst patients. Some drivers are really bad passengers. You don't want me riding around in your car.

Phobias

I resolve to take responsibility for my own phobias just as soon as I stop being afraid of so many things.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Running Makes Me Feel Lighter

Ah, summertime! No more bad weather excuses to avoid of exercise! Just get out there and work up a sweat!

I've been back on my running regime for a couple of weeks, and I feel better already. I feel lighter, even though my weight hasn't changed. My legs are stronger, and everything that I do seems a bit easier.

Why did I wait so long? I love this feeling of invigoration! To be fair, I was doing quite well until February when I finally ran short of motivation. Somewhere in the dark days and cold winds of a harsh winter, I lost my resolve and stopped lacing up my running shoes.

But I'm back now in the glorious late spring, the exquisite crescendo leading into the long, rich days of summer. Keep it up! Keep putting one foot in front of the other. I want to hang on to this mercurial feeling for as long as possible.

Sound Bites

The sound bite:

Summarize an opinion, repeat it over and over, and eventually people will believe it to the point where it doesn't dawn on them to verify whether it was true on the first place.

When they then use the "fact" expressed within the sound bite as the basis of their reasoning, their perception is irreversibly skewed.

This is not a new practice. We had sound bites when I was a child, and I'm sure that they have existed throughout history. They're used because they work. People like to embrace a comfortable belief rather than dig more deeply for a less comfortable truth.

Logic based on opinions that masquerade as facts, that isn't really logic at all.