South Of Someplace

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Proper Attire

When I'm not wearing a tie I feel exposed, as though I were walking around in my underwear. From the observer's point of view, I would assume the two to be equally unappealing.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

When a plan doesn't turn out the way that you wanted it to, keep working. When the job gets tough and tedious and frustrating, keep working. When you're bored, tired, hungry, or ready to give up, keep working. In fact, the best approach to just about every difficulty is, keep working.

On The Edge Of A New Idea

I have an idea, something that I would like to express with my photography over the next few months. It's not all that complicated, but I've never tried anything like this before. It will require an investment of time and effort.

At the moment, the idea exists only in my head. There's always a gap between concept and reality. Some ideas fly and others flop. It's exciting to stand on the edge of that realization not knowing which way it will go.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

An Old Song Updated for the Social Media Generation

To all the girls I've loved before
Exquisite ladies I adore
I want you to be always sure
You're in my thoughts for evermore

To all the girls I've loved before
You might have gained a little weight
It could be something that you ate
Like ice cream that was shipped by freight

To all the girls I've loved before
I'm glad we did it when you were hot
Your Facebook picture says you're not
It scares me, and I mean a lot

To all the girls I've loved before
I hope I haven't made you cry
You're probably in better shape than I
Except for the cellulite on your thigh

To all the girls I've loved before
I partied with too many kegs
And ate too many scrambled eggs
There's no circulation in my legs

To all the girls I've loved before
I'm giving all my heart to you
And so that you know I'm true
My arteries are clogged with goo

To all the girls I've loved before

You might send an old pic to me

I've no longer the memory

To fantasize about the way you used to be

To all the girls I've loved before

I hope that you've enjoyed song

And if I said to much that's wrong

Un-friend my ass and say "So long!"

Proactive Heat Conditioning

I enjoy summer weather, but as I have gotten older it has become more difficult to tolerate extreme heat.

This year I decided to confront this weakness proactively. I went out on several midday runs on the hottest days, nothing too long or strenuous, but enough to condition my body to be more tolerant of the heat.

The training worked surprisingly well. I am quite comfortable now even when the temperature reaches well into the 90s Fahrenheit.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Could It Be Any Hotter?

A man and his wife stepped onto the elevator that I was about to take upstairs.

"Could it be any hotter?" the man asked rhetorically.

"I've been to Death Valley," I said gleefully. "It gets a LOT hotter than this."

They each gave me the evil death stare. I suppose that it was rude to rain on their pity party.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Bank Of Dad

Many years ago my son gave me a wonderful gift, a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase 'Bank Of Dad'. We enjoyed a good laugh over the open-wallet nature of parenthood.

The shirt is one of my prized possessions. I store it carefully to keep it in good condition and I rarely wear it outside of the house.

This morning, I was wearing the shirt when I decided to pick up a coffee and make a stop at the market. The market cashier, a lady in her early twenties, took note.

"I like your shirt!" she said.

"Thanks!"

"I should get one for my Dad," she added.

"Oh, that would be a nice gift!"

"Yeah," she said, "he asks me all the time: 'Do I look like a bank to you?'"

I love my 'Bank Of Dad' shirt. Every dad should have one!

Friday, July 12, 2013

Choices

If I had my life to live all over again, I would do most of the same things and make most of the same choices. And that's about the best feeling that there is.

Funny T-shirts

I got a chuckle from each of these three T-shirts. I saw them all yesterday while running errands.

"Sorry if I'm slow - I get paid by the hour."

"Don't do drugs - smoke weed!"

"Billionaire In Training"

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

An Eventful Day

It's been an eventful day in the city. After my lesson with esteemed tango master Diego Di Falco, I saw six beautiful young women sitting on a bench in the hallway. They were queueing to audition for a role in the next Superman movie.

I walked toward Times Square as a light rain abated. I saw The Naked Cowboy and his new sidekick whom I'll call The Underwear Indian. Use your imagination.

I walked several blocks and crossed a few avenues. A group of people had gathered on a street corner. As I drew closer I saw a young man - probably from Mexico, Honduras, or Guatemala - lying on the pavement beside a toppled bicycle. The man was moaning and convulsing, possibly due to a traumatic head injury.

A security guard from one of the neighboring buildings was standing over the man reaching downward with his right hand. The shaking man was holding onto the guard's index finger. The kindness of the gesture moved me to the edge of tears. Eventually an ambulance arrived.