Bizarre Moments From My Weekend Trip To See The Folks

Bizarre moments from my weekend trip to see the folks:

I noticed that Pittsburgh International Airport now has a Joe And The Juice coffee shop. It was closed when I arrived, but I made a point to stop by for a coffee before my return flight. When I returned to the shop, I heard someone say, “Nice to see you here!” The guy managing the shop at the airport was the manager of Joe And The Juice on Wall Street when I worked there. It’s a small world!

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Diving into the town where my sister lives, I passed a hitchhiker, a sixty-something fellow with a gray beard who pantomimed a pathetic appeal for me to stop and pick him up. As I passed by, I watched in the mirror as he made the same gesture to the car behind me. About an hour later, I stopped by a local restaurant. Sitting at the counter having lunch was the hitchhiker.

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Standing in a kitchen, I ate baby carrots out of the package as a huge pit bull watched me. “I’m eating carrots, dog! You don’t want carrots,” I said to my furry friend. I tossed him a piece of one of the carrots. To my surprise, he ate it. After that, I split my carrots with him, and he ate every bite.

When I had had my fill of carrots, I ate a couple of blueberry yogurts. The dog watched, so I left some yogurt in the bottom of each cup and put them on the floor. Pit bulls love carrots and blueberry yogurt. Who knew?

Aging

I have reached the age where I no longer have to do something strenuous in order to injure myself. From time to time, I’ll wake up in the morning with some mysterious ache or pain that doesn’t seem to relate to any recent activity, as though I lost a jiujitsu match with the comforter in my sleep.

In the past few months, I was asked by a sales clerk if I qualified for a senior citizen discount - not yet, thank you! - and a young lady offered me her seat on the subway. The inevitable is approaching.

That said, I thank goodness that I am still in reasonably good health. Last evening, my heart went out to some poor old fellow who was bound to a wheelchair. He was talking to someone about the good old days when he graduated from high school - in 1984! 

Wait... What? This guy was still in grade school when I graduated. That realization sent my head spinning.

Stay fit and healthy, my aging friends. Our vitality is the only thing keeping the inevitable at bay.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

The Next Step

You might not be ready to reach your dreams, but you are ready to take the next step on the path that will take you there.

Things That Bring You The Most Joy

I saw this on Instagram today: “List five things that bring you the most joy.”

At first, I thought that I would need time to come up with a list, but I started typing a response, and this is what came out.

1. Emotionally stirring entertainment

2. Exercise

3. Time spent with special people 

4. Creating something beautiful or interesting 

5. Overcoming a meaningful challenge

What brings YOU the most joy?

Working Lunch

This is another one of those stories that sounds like I made it up, but I swear on a stack of thick, juicy hamburgers and sweet potato fries that it’s all true.

Starting at about noon today, I worked on a critical operation that kept me stuck at my desk for two hours. I couldn’t walk away. The building held a fire drill on my floor during this period - see, I told you it would sound as though I made it up - but I had to refuse to attend. I needed to stay at my desk and focus on what I was doing.

Shortly after this bit of uninterruptible work began, the young lady sitting next to me went to the pantry to heat up her lunch in the microwave. Instead of eating in the pantry area like a good corporate citizen, she instead chose to return to her desk and eat her lunch just a few feet away from me.

What did this thoughtful person have for lunch today. Some extremely smelly fish, rendered more pungent by the microwave process.

Keep in mind that I was stuck there. I could not walk away, even for a fire drill. I swear that she at that fish as slowly as possible just to bug the crap out of me.

Good grief, are manners completely lost on some people? I wanted to throw up, it smelled so bad. But I had to keep working. Thank you, fish lady, for turning my stomach with your outrageously selfish workplace conduct. 

Chickpeas

I prepared a light dinner for myself the other night. By the time I got home from work and went for a run, it was nine-thirty. I didn’t want to eat a heavy meal at that hour.

There was some rice in the refrigerator. I served myself a plate of rice and opened a can of chickpeas to add some flavor. I heated this simple concoction in the microwave and enjoyed it as I caught up on the news.

The next morning, I was upset with myself when I realized that I had forgotten to refrigerate the left-over chickpeas. I had eaten about two-thirds of the can with my rice, but there was still a substantial amount of food in the open can. I was rushing to get to work, so I covered the can with plastic wrap and set it in the fridge. I thought about throwing them out, but I figured that I could make that decision later.

When I got home from work, my first impulse was to thrown the can of chickpeas in the trash. I wasn’t sure that they would be good after sitting out on the counter all night. But as I thought about it, I felt bad about wasting food. I got the can out of the fridge and out the peas on a plate with some the rice and some other vegetables. That was last night’s dinner; I haven’t experienced any digestive issues today, so I guess that the chickpeas were fine. 

I know that this isn’t the most exciting story, but it’s a true story, and there’s something about it that I would like you to consider. All I am saying is give peas a chance.

Good News And Bad News In The Pantry

I have good news and bad news. When I arrived at the office this morning, I found a mousetrap in the pantry where I sometimes have my breakfast. The building staff must have left it out overnight - I have see traps out on weekend before - but apparently, no one remembered to take it away before business hours.

The good news is that that bait wasn’t taken. A smooth ball of peanut butter was sitting on the trap with no signs of having been nibbled. Mice love peanut butter. The fact that the trap was left undisturbed gives a measure of confidence that the place isn’t crawling with rodents.

New York Minute 166 - Accent

I swear that I don’t make these things up.

This morning, I rode on an elevator with two ladies who were having a conversation about how cold the weather is getting. One lady, who had a heavy New York accent, remarked: 

“I nevuh know what to weauh! This moouning, I wooked the dooug in a sweatuh, and I was FREEZING!”

I absolutely promise you that I am not making this up.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

New York Minute 165 - Beware Of Owner

Coming home from the grocery store the other night, I noticed a lady walking ahead of me with three small dogs. Each dog was pulling its leash to its maximum length, and they were all pulling in different directions, taking up the entire width of the sidewalk. Two people walking in the oncoming direction had to stop and wait for the lady and her dogs to walk past them. The lady made no attempt to pull her dogs back in order to let them pass. She seemed oblivious to the fact that her pack was blocking all foot traffic.

At one point, the lady pulled out her phone and started looking at it. I guess it didn’t make a big difference. She hadn’t been paying attention in the first place; now, she was completely oblivious to her surroundings. 

A man with a larger dog approached from the other direction. I took a deep breath, dreading what was about to happen. 

The small dogs started yapping loudly as they lunged at the larger dog, who barked back ferociously. Luckily, the man was exercising more vigilance than the clueless lady. At the first hint or trouble, he pulled his dog away from the cluster of smaller dogs. The dog was up on its hind legs, fighting against the control of the leash. The lady yelled and scolded her dogs crossly, as though they were to blame for her negligence.

The barking standoff went on for a while. I stood back and waited for the owners to work out a way to get past each other without spilling blood.

Copyright © 2019 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Do Your Best

Keep doing your best, and your best will get better.