Orchestra Rehearsal
Q: What did the bassoonist, who upon arriving late for rehearsal, hand to the conductor?
A: A grace note.
Q: What did the flirtatious trumpeter give to the attractive new clarinetist?
A: A pickup note.
Q: What did the orchestra manager leave with the boxes of donuts she brought to rehearsal?
A: A whole note.
Q: What do the ladies in the orchestra wear when they’re playing in the key of F Minor?
A: Flats.
Q: What sent the score librarian the hospital?
A: A staff infection.
Q: How did the conductor know that the oboe player was dealing with unresolved issues?
A: She looked diminished.
Q: Why was the tenor disappointed after his date with the rakish soprano?
A: She was augmented.
Q: How did rivals in the viola section settle their argument quickly?
A: It was minor.
Q: Why are there rarely any arguments in the trombone section?
A: They let things slide.
Q: Why did the percussionist break things off with the harp player?
A: Too many strings.
Q: Why was the conductor’s contract extension delayed?
A: It was missing a key signature.
Q: What did the tuba player express in his poetry?
A: Deep thoughts.
Q: Where did the globe-trotting pianist go on vacation?
A: The Ivory Coast
Q: What was the lonely flautist seeking when she invited the guest composer for drinks?
A: A score with stimulating movements.
Q: What instrument inspired envy in the horny French hornist?
A: The cello.
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