At the pub late one Halloween
The barmaid had started to clean
As she bent toward the kegs
She spread her fine legs
And her treats were unveiled to be seen
(It’s so hard to keep a limerick clean)
PS. A friend challenged me to use “Halloween” in a limerick. Thanks to Ken for the inspiration!
Did you know that a serial killer in Houston has killed 20 children in the past two weeks?
Except, it wasn’t 20. It was 2,000.
And it wasn’t Houston. It was Gaza.
Who pays the price
The heaviest price
When the bombs fall
And the rockets fly?
The children
The old
The sick and the poor
The mothers
The sisters
The man at the store
Those who did nothing
To bring on a war
Those who can’t fight
And can’t get away
Those are the ones who pay
They pay with their limbs
They pay with their eyes
They suffer all night
And pay with their lives
It’s always the same
Time after time
The innocents pay the price
1 thing 2 do 3 times be 4 you 5leep is have 6 in 7 different positions, unless you 8 a heavy meal, in which case walk 9 thousand steps and go to bed before 10.
The Earth
Will be here
Long after humans
Disappear
Buildings will crumble
Records will fade
No trace will be left
In a million years
Let’s contemplate
The Integer Nine
The first Odd Number
That’s not a Prime
This highest digit
Isn’t prime, you see,
Because it factors
To three times three
Life is like being a pinball. You’re thrust into unpredictable situations where you bounce around and get whacked from time to time, but the longer you keep going, the more rewards you accumulate.
War has broken out in the Middle East, and the United States has -
- no Speaker of the House
- no Ambassador to Israel
- over 300 vacancies in top officer positions in the armed forces
because nihilistic members of congress have paralyzed the government with procedural stunts.
Fun With Bad Poetry
You look more yummy than lunch
That’s why I love you a bunch
-
I’ve done some stupid things
It’s true
But the stupidest thing I did
Was you
-
I remember the softness
In your voice
When you said,
“Please stay! Let’s do it again.”
I was happy to be there
In your warm arms
Until the door opened
And your husband walked in
War breaks out in the Middle East, and the US House of Representatives has no Speaker, because eight hard-line politicians led by a womanizer from Florida decided to bring the government to its knees.
Voter 1: Who are you supporting in the upcoming election?
Voter 2: I like Candidate A.
Voter 1: Really? Why?
Voter 2: A promises to ban critical race theory and criminalize drag queen story hour.
Voter 1: Do you realize that Candidate A has a history of disparaging minorities, fomenting political violence, and working to undermine democracy?
Voter 2: Which part of drag queen story hour do you not understand?
