Modest Accomplishments

It’s better to do something modest

Than dream of something grand

You’ll never reach your best

Until you’ve done all that you can

Are You Up?

I was relaxing on Friday evening after an intense twelve-hour workday. I had spent the day finalizing code changes that need to be deployed before the annual technology change freeze. These are critical deliverables with an unmovable deadline, so the stress level was high.

I was working on some creative projects and trying to wind down when, just after midnight, I noticed a message pop up on my phone.

“Daniel are you up?”

I just about fell off of my chair. “Who the heck sent this?”

It turns out that it was was one of my colleagues in India looking for help with some data that hadn’t arrived on time. I’m going to have to have a talk with him about how to phrase late-night requests for technical assistance.

If Musical Instruments Could Talk

For my musician friends

Guitar: I don’t like your tone!

Banjo: Oh, really? Well, maybe you’re just too high strung.

Mandolin: Can I play with you guys?

Banjo: Maybe another time, kid…

Bass: Would you three please stop whining up there?

Piano: Technically, they’re not whining.

Guitar: Nobody asked you, Keys!

Piano: Well! You don’t have to get all twangy!

Banjo: Hey, Keys! Get back to us when you can bend a pitch, will ya?

Guitar: Look who’s talking!

Banjo: Hey! I can bend!

Violin: Oh, my God! You’re all amateurs!

Viola: Thanks for the drama, Sis!

Cello: Can we please not squabble, just this once?

Sax and Trumpet: Hey, do you think you can use us this weekend?

Guitar: I don’t know. Can you play by ear?

Trumpet: Um…

Sax: I can!

Banjo: We’ll call you if we need you.

Guitar: Oh, like you’re so in demand!

Drum Kit: You know what? I don’t have time for this.

Bass: Yeah, man! They’re killing my groove!

Drum Kit: Let’s beat it!

Bass: Count me in!

Banjo: Great job there, Spotlight! They took off!

Guitar: Who needs them? I don’t need anyone!

Banjo: Oh, really? Are you sure that you’re still in tune?

Guitar: Hey, Keys, give me an A…

Piano: Seriously? Again?

Guitar: I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.

Banjo (mocking): “I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”

Mandolin: Can I play with you guys?

©️2021 Daniel R. South

All rights reserved

Happy Thanksgiving!

Someone once wrote: “Never stick a banana in the toaster. Put bread in the toaster and use the toasted bread to warm the banana.”

Actually, no one ever said that. I just made it up, but it sounds reasonable, and it works on many levels.

Happy Thanksgiving from New York City!

System Of Justice

Some of what we have witnessed in the past week:

- A man was nearly executed for a crime that by all reliable accounts he did not commit. His case raised so many red flags that his execution was commuted by a governor in a strongly pro death penalty state.

- A habitual violent offender and sex offender who was out on a thousand dollars bail after running over his girlfriend with his car, drove into a Christmas parade killing five and injuring dozens of people.

- A vigilante walked away scot free after committing a double homicide. His defense was that he felt threatened despite the fact that he was the only person on the scene carrying an assault rifle.

- The aforementioned vigilante traveled out of state to the scene of his crimes with a stated mission to “protect property and help people.” His destination wax the site of a protest over the point blank shooting of an unarmed man by police. The man was left paralyzed, and the police officers involved faced no disciplinary action.

People claim that we need to trust our justice system, but unless that system’s mission is to commit one grave error after another, it is in dire need of an overhaul.

The Wealthiest Man

Over the past year, I listed a number of items on Ebay, and I bought stock in Tesla. Thinking back on this I realize that I sold off my earthly possessions and gave the money to the richest man in the world.

Dangerous Precedent

Now there’s an interesting legal precedent. Going forward, whenever there is a protest or a situation of civil unrest, people will be permitted by law to shoot into the crowd at will. It won’t matter if the shooter is from out of town, out of state, too young to operate a firearm, mentally ill, etc. As long as they’re Caucasian and they don’t have and Arabic name, an active shooter will be able to dispose of a number of annoying protesters without the worrisome burden of being convicted of a crime. This is why the whole world thinks that we Americans have lost our bleeping minds.

Mexican Irony

Yesterday, President Biden met with the President of Mexico. This morning, Biden had a colonoscopy. Why does diarrhea always follow a Mexican trip?

15 Films That Everyone Should See

15 Films That Everyone Should See

(with alternate selections)

Modern Times (1936) / Metropolis (1927)

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

The Wizard Of Oz (1939)

The Maltese Falcon (1941) / The Big Sleep (1946)

Casablanca (1942)

An American In Paris (1952) / On The Town (1949)

12 Angry Men (1957)

My Fair Lady (1964) / The Sound Of Music (1965)

In The Heat Of The Night (1967) / Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967)

Jaws (1975) / Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)

Star Wars (1977)

Amadeus (1984) 

Back To The Future (1985) / Ghostbusters (1984)

Boys In The Hood (1991) / Do The Right Thing (1989)

WALL-E (2008) / Toy Story 2 (1999)

Stage Name Scramble

Halsey’s real name is Ashley. Maybe The Weeknd’s real name is Ethen Dewk.

Random Thoughts - 20211109

Random Thoughts - 20111109

Does life need to have meaning? Maybe it’s enough to enjoy inspiring experiences and delicious goodies.

If there’s an elephant in the room, do you really want to sit there and talk about it? Move calmly toward the exit.

If you’re feckless, ask someone if they could give a feck. If not, you might have to go feck yourself.

I once dated a woman who was into S&M. I left her to her own devices.

Does “mostly cloudy” qualify as “partly cloudy”?

A beautiful day in Paris is the most beautiful day of all.

Legislative Agenda

Biden’s Legislative Agenda

Paid family leave

Childcare for working parents

Lower prescription drug prices

Vision and dental benefits for seniors

Repair roads and bridges

Replace lead pipes

Build tunnels and rail lines

High-speed internet access for everyone

Education benefits including universal pre-K

Clean energy infrastructure (to compete with China)

Charging stations for electric cars

Electrify federal vehicles and school busses

Free Covid-19 vaccine for anyone who wants it

Strengthen the Affordable Care Act

Protect the right to vote

Protect the rights of workers to organize

Trump’s Legislative Agenda

Build a wall

Give tax breaks to billionaires

Take healthcare coverage away from millions