People change, but the change doesn’t often happen in the way that we want it to. Not many people go through a positive Scrooge-like transformation, morphing from a miserable, selfish, demanding person into a joyful, generous, caring human being. That’s one of the reasons why his story is so compelling. It’s special, because it’s something that we don’t see very often.
Most of the time, we people change in a negative direction, or at least they seem to. Someone who once brought love and fulfillment into our lives becomes disappointing, difficult, or worse.
It’s possible that they haven’t really changed at all. Maybe the difficult, disappointing version of their personality is who they were all along. Maybe they presented a pleasant, idealized version of themselves to you when the relationship was of greater value to them. We were happy to give them the benefit of the doubt; why not? - they were making us happy.
Over time, everyone tires of pretending. No one wants to pretend to be happy when they are dissatisfied or to be fulfilled when they are unhappy. Façades fall. Relationships based on half truths begin to crumble. It should surprised no one when a delightful companion transforms into a complicated, imperfect personality before our very eyes. They’re just being honest about who they really were all along.
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