Disappointment And Expectations

Disappointment is function of expectation. If we invite someone over for dinner and they cancel at the last minute, we’ll feel disappointed because their actions did not meet our expectations. If they cancel on us repeatedly, our disappointment may become severe and turn into anger or despair.

But we can manage our expectations and in so doing manage our reaction to negative outcomes. If a friend routinely cancels on dinner plans, we can lower our expectations as to whether they are likely to make it. That way, if they don’t show up, we won’t be disappointed.

If they do come to one of our dinner parties, we can view that as a bonus, an unexpected pleasure. We can say, “Oh, I didn’t think you were going to make it, since you cancelled the last seventeen times. But that’s okay! Come on in! There’s plenty of food, and I’ve set up a special table for you out in the garage.”

Copyright © 2018 Daniel R. South 

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