Days When I Want To Scream

There are days 

When I just want to scream 

Loudly and angrily 

And curse a blue streak 

At the world 

And everyone in it 

Throw a big ugly fit 

Tear up the carpet 

And even break 

Some furniture 

Like an angry, crazed, 

Overgrown two-year-old 

Who’s tired and cranky 

And totally 

Out of control 

But no

I won’t do it 

I won’t and I can’t 

I won’t let myself rant 

Uncontrollably 

It’s not good for you 

And it’s not good for me

I’ll do something else 

Anything else 

I’ll find a better way 

To express myself 

I’ll take a deep breath 

Balance myself 

And get a hold of that urge 

To scream 

And be mean 

I’ll take it 

And push it way down 

In my soul 

Where the darkest thoughts swim 

In a cold, deep well 

Waiting 

Waiting to be reborn 

I use them, you know 

Those thoughts in the well

I harness that angst 

And use it as fuel 

As pure motivation 

The fire and passion 

I need 

To take action 

I can make them burn bright 

And turn dark into light 

When my focus is right 

I can transform the rawest emotions

Into joyful 

And helpful 

Experiences 

I’ll just relax 

And think for a bit 

And soon I’ll have some ideas 

Of how to make something nice 

Or provide some advice 

That might help someone 

In need 

I can think of a way 

To contribute some pay 

In a generous way 

Or maybe just stay 

In the house for the day

Learning to do 

Something new 

Something fun 

Something 

That will ultimately 

Help someone

Anything 

Just do anything 

Anything but scream 

No 

Don’t do that 

I won’t do that 

I won’t lash out 

Or throw a mad fit 

I won’t show anger 

Or harbor it 

I won’t share frustration 

Or unchecked emotion 

Or do unkind things 

Or say thoughtless words 

No 

No one deserves 

The wrath of my unmanaged emotions 

No one should carry my burdens 

But me 

My heart 

Is my own 

Responsibility 

And I shall be 

As positive 

As I can 

I’ll handle things 

Patiently and quietly 

Because screaming 

Is a waste of energy 

And so far beneath 

My dignity 

Copyright © 2017 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved