South Of Someplace: June 2016

Thursday, June 30, 2016

New York Minute 33 - Attention Seeker

Sometimes, I encounter who talk to themselves while walking down the street. They're not mumbling or muttering under their breath; they speak loudly in an attempt to get the attention of strangers.

Their menacing monologue is loaded with curse words and crude descriptions of people doing terrible things to each other (often in a sexual context). It's unnerving to hear such vulgar thoughts spoken so casually and deliberately.

One of these guys came up behind me as I was walking home the other night. I heard him about a block away giving his expletive-filled lecture to no one. The voice got closer and closer. I resisted the urge to let it bother me.

When the guy caught up to me, I walked stride for stride with him for a couple of blocks. I smiled, enjoyed the scenery, and ignored his banter.

At the next intersection, I let him get about 12 to 15 feet ahead of me. Then I launched into one of my favorite mind tricks.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and pretended to have a loud, banal conversation with a pretend fraternity buddy.

"HEY!"

"What's goin' on?"

"Yeah, this weather SUCKS!"

"Hey, I heard about Arthur!"

"Yeah, that shit's f---ed up!"

And on and on and on. You get the picture.

Two blocks later, the man who was now very quiet, crossed the street to get away from me.

Satisfaction!

New York Minute 32 - Overheard on a Sidewalk

Ah, the dangers of hearing bits of a conversation out of context!

Two nicely dressed, twenty-something ladies were walking down the sidewalk chatting in the now-ubiquitous Kardashian accent.

Lady 1: "He's like a TOTAL pedophile!"

Lady 2: "I really LIKE that!"

Don't worry! I couldn't make sense of it either.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Where The Blame For Benghazi Really Belongs

The Congressional Benghazi Playbook

1. Cut the State Department's funding so they have less money to devote to embassy security.

2. When an embassy is attacked, refuse to accept responsibility for the weakened security.

3. Spend four years and millions of dollars on political witch hunts to focus the blame on someone else. Extra points if that person is the presidential nominee for the minority party.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Gun Controversy

Voters: Congress should consider banning gun sales to people on the terrorist no-fly list.

Gun lobby: The Government is trying to ban ALL guns! They're coming to YOUR house to take your guns away! Call your Congressmen!

Congress: We have received a lot of angry calls. The terrorists get to keep their guns for now. Have a nice day.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Why Happy Days Are NOT Here Again

Progressives are always looking for the Promised Land. They yearn to cross a virtual finish line that signals the end of all of their problems.

If only we can raise the minimum wage. If only we can get a healthcare bill passed! If only we can protect LGBT rights!

Conservatives realize that the job is never finished, the line is never crossed. They commit to keep fighting even when they get what they want.

Progressives like to celebrate. Happy Days Are Here Again is their Democratic Party's theme song. We celebrated the Voting Rights Act. We celebrated the assault weapons ban. Neither of them lasted.

We celebrated the creation of the EPA; conservatives did everything possible to reduce its effectiveness. We celebrated Roe v. Wade and took it for granted while the opposition worked hard to make abortion difficult to attain.

We celebrated when Obama was elected. Wow! A Black President! Anything is possible! And then we took a vacation from voting which doomed him to struggle at the mercy of a hostile Congress.

Meanwhile, hate group activity skyrocketed. Gun sales went through the roof. The Tea Party gained political power by appealing to fear and bigotry. And the "Party of No" derailed the Progressive agenda.

I see the same casual optimism in the Sanders supporters. "We want free tuition! We want universal healthcare!" Those are admirable goals, but you won't reach them by electing a favorite candidate or making noise at a political convention. It's going to take years of hard work and active campaigning and demonstration to get ANYTHING through Congress. If Progressives cast a vote and them disappear, their goals will disappear right along with them.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Congratulations, Britain!

Congratulations, Britain! You just gave Donald Trump a high five whilst kicking poor David Cameron in the bollocks. Brilliant!

Brexit and the Perils of Pure Democracy

Across the pond in the USA, we sometimes lament the layers of indirection at work in our representative democracy.

We elect representatives to Congress who don't always share our values or support policies that we favor. Congress doesn't always work in the best interest of their constituents choosing instead to fulfill party objectives and the wishes of well-funded lobbyists.

Here, we don't even elect our President directly. Our votes send Electors (actual people) from each party to the Electoral College. Those Electors choose the President.

This indirect system of representation routinely frustrates the rank and file voter. But it also acts as a safety net against reckless policy changes. Significant policy change happens very slowly in the US. But slow is better than rash. Unfortunalely, rash decisions are more likely when the voting public participates directly in the process.

Someone once wrote that if majorities made every decision, then every meal would be pizza and every outfit would include blue jeans. Sometimes it's better to leave the decision making to those with a more specialized or seasoned persoective. Let Mom decide what to have for dinner.

Which brings us to Brexit, the UK's decision to leave the European Union. I'll stop short of saying that the result is going to be a disaster for the economies involved. I don't have a crystal ball. But in the short term, at least, the negatives are likely to outweigh the positives.

Is this the kind of decision that the rank and file voter is prepared to make? The average citizen doesn't understand the complexities of trade agreements or international banking. Their votes are based on limited knowledge and a good measure of emotion, emotion that can easily be excited and directed by clever marketing campaigns.

I fear that Britain has made a historical blunder. Or more to the point, Britain's individual voters have made a rash and ultimately regrettable decision, a decision that should have been entrusted to cooler and more qualified heads.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

A Religion of Hate

Islam gets blamed for a lot of problems, these days. I remember people mocking Islam as a "religion of hate" in the tense days after 9/11 when Muslims tried to popularize the idea that Islam was "a religion of peace."

Religion can be corrupted, distorted, and co-opted for negative purposes. But this principle is not exclusive to Islam.

For example, consider the following quote featured today on CNN. This is a Christian minister discussing the horrific shooting that occurred ten days ago at an LGBT nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

"Hey, are you sad that 50 pedophiles were killed today?" Sacramento, California, pastor Roger Jimenez said from the pulpit the Sunday of the shooting. "No, I think that's great. I think that helps society. I think Orlando, Florida is a little safer tonight ... The tragedy is more of 'em didn't die." (Link to the Article)

Really, Pastor Jimenez? Did you actually study the teachings of Jesus Christ when you were at seminary? Or did you stumble into a hate rally by mistake?

Any religion can be corrupted when those professing to follow - or even lead - that religion let their hearts turn cold and their minds grow opaque and obstinate.

‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ - Matthew 25:40

Are you a good steward for your faith? Do you live its values truly and fairly, even when those values conflict with your personal feelings? Do you treat your neighbors - the believers, the non-believers, and those of different faiths - with love and respect? Or do you let yourself fall into the abysmal trenches of judgment, ridicule, and exclusivity?

Our faith depends on us just as we depend on our faith. When we let our own hearts turn cold toward the plight of our neighbors or abandon "the least among us," our faith suffers in kind. We pull it down into the well instead of letting its spiritual buoyancy raise us up to a higher level of understanding and acceptance.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Droner

Droner (n) - 1. A physical reaction to the excitement of flying a drone. 2. A strong reaction to fantasies about flying drones or to watching others engaged in drone flying.

Usage: I realized that he was a creep when he got a droner at the park.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Senate Supports Terrorists

Terrorists: Congratulations! The U.S. Senate just protected your ability to buy unlimited quantities of guns and ammunition in America, no questions asked.

Voters: It's time to retire any senator who voted against the provision to let terrorists buy guns. If those senators want to support terrorists so badly, we can all pitch in and buy them one-way tickets to Iraq.

Full Moon on the Summer Solstice

It's a full moon on the summer solstice! There must be an amazing party going on at Stonehenge!

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to the man who -

- gave me his love and his time

- inspired me with his knowledge

- guided me with his wisdom

- motivated me with high standards

- entertained me with his brilliant wit

- bestowed upon me my sense of humor, my blue eyes, my intellect, and my thirst for knowledge

- and who raised and nurtured four children in a joyful and inspiring home that was always safe, comfortable, encouraging, and full of laughter.

Happy Father's Day, as well, to the man who -

- gave me the privilege of being called a father in the first place and inspired me to be a better person

- filled me with wonder as I watched him grow and discover the world

- went on walks and hikes with me, on trips to the park, to the beach, the cinema, the arcade, and our favorite shops and restaurants

- spent time with me playing, chatting, hiking, trekking, dining, joking, watching movies, solving puzzles, or inventing games that no one had ever played before

- traveled extensively with me in the US and abroad

- inspires me continuously with his wit, his sensitivity, his talent, his ambition, his creativity, his dedication, and his professionalism

- and fills every day of my life with joy, pride, and admiration.

Happy Father's Day to everyone who provides for their children, guides them, and does whatever it takes to be a good father.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

New York Minute 31 - Blue Flip Flops

A young lady walks casually down the sidewalk on a steamy June morning wearing a floral print skirt and blue flip flops. As she stares intently at the screen of her mobile phone, one of the flip flops lands squarely on a freshly smeared patch of dog dirt.

The lady continues on her way without missing a stride. Apparently, she is oblivious to the misfortunes of her footwear.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

New York Minute 30 - You Can Do It

During my run last evening, a passing motorist - a young guy wearing a Yankees cap - leaned his head out of the driver's side window, flashed a big smile, and yelled, "You can do it, brother!"

Somehow I managed to gasp out a quick response: "Thanks a lot, bro!"

The guy couldn't have known that I was attempting my first 6-plus mile run of the year, but I appreciated his playful encouragement, however random it might have been. I thought about those words as I pushed myself through a challenging 6.8-mile effort in the steamy New York City air. I'm not sure that I would have made it that far without that extra dash of emotional support.

South Of Someplace