South Of Someplace: February 2015

Friday, February 27, 2015

New York Minute 5 - Fire In The Hole

A utility technician called out to his colleague on a bitterly cold morning.

"We have to tow these cars! When there's smoke coming out of the hole, you have tow the cars!"

Indeed, there was smoke coming out of a manhole marked with orange cones near where the technician was standing. It wasn't a lot of smoke, but it was enough to reach the other side of the street. I sensed the distinct smell of an electrical fire.

The second technician's response was unintelligible, as he was facing away from me.

The first technician addressed him again, this time with more urgency: "There's a fire in the HOLE!"

The Critic

I don't have much empathy for critics. Inspectors are a different story. If someone is hired to determine whether some food, product, or service is safe, then I want them to do their job thoroughly. Likewise, whistle blowers who alert us to dangerous practices or conditions are to be commended.

But critics provide little actual utility.

You didn't like that play? Okay. Stage a production of your own play, and we'll decide for ourselves how much you actually know about the theater. Do a few song and dance numbers so we can compare your abilities to those of the actors that you just trashed.

Didn't like that movie? Fine. Let us read YOUR screenplay. Act out a few scenes and show us how much talent you have.

Don't care for that restaurant? Brilliant. Open your own place. We'd love to sample your best recipes.

Think the quarterback just cost your team the game? Fantastic. Let's see you find the open receiver after getting knocked down a few times by a 265-pound linebacker.

Critics are parasites. They ride on the backs of others, others who dare to attempt great things despite the risk of humiliation and spectacular failure. What risks does the critic take? What great objectives are they attempting to accomplish with their biting remarks? How does the critic justify his or her existence? What services do they provide to society? Or are they serving their own self interests?

Saturday, February 21, 2015

New York Minute 4 - Package Delivery Guy

Walking down a corridor toward the elevator bank in a Midtown office building, I passed a package delivery man who looked strikingly like comedian Kevin Hart. He was carrying two small boxes. I decided to say hello.

Me: How you doin'?

Package Guy: Good! How you doin' today?

Me: I'm doing well, thanks!

Package Guy: That's good! (slight pause) Keep warm out there!

Me: I'll try. But you're outside a lot more than I am.

Package Guy: (laughing) You got that right!

Friday, February 20, 2015

New York Minute 3 - Almost So Cold

Overheard this morning while walking through Midtown:

"It's almost so cold I don't want to smoke."

The speaker was smoking, and so was his friend. Apparently, it wasn't quite cold enough to convince them to stay inside.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

New York Minute 2 - Subway Sleeper

I was riding the subway the other night, standing as is my custom. It was almost eleven, and the train wasn't crowded.

An elderly Asian lady sat sleeping on one of the bench seats just next to the center door. At one station when the door beside her opened, the lady woke up. She turned her head sharply to the left and looked over her shoulder through the door.

Without warning, the lady spit through the doorway toward the station platform. Unfortunately, her aim fell short. A large puddle of spit splattered onto the subway floor near the door, right were a boarding passenger would take their first step onto the train.

The lady fetched a tissue from her handbag and reached it toward the spit puddle. She couldn't reach the spit from her seated position, so she gave up on the idea of cleaning up after herself. She put the tissue paper back into her back and resumed her nap.

Peace In Our Time

I feel sorry for Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat. The successful peace treaty that they established in 1979 may never be expanded. Human nature prevents any meaningful Middle East peace agreement from moving forward.

Far too many people are willing to believe hateful stereotypes about Muslims, Jews, Christians, Arabs, and Israelis. Far too many people will accept any comment that demonizes Israel, the West, or the Muslim world, ignoring logic and bountiful empirical evidence in the process.

Never underestimate the power of bigotry to shape public policy. Whether it presents itself in the form of nationalism, racism, class warfare, or religious persecution, bigotry is a cancer that sickens and weakens the fragile human hope for reasonable progress toward a better tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

New York Minute 1 - Hip Hop CDs

A few young guys were selling their homemade hip hop CD's on Fifth Avenue by Rockefeller Center. One guy tried to hand one to the lady walking in front of me, but she waved him off.

Then he approached me: "Hey! Rich guy! Buy some music!"

Rich guy! Wow! I've never heard that one before. It's not what I would expect while lumbering along in my badly-in-need-of-dry-cleaning raincoat with the bottom button missing. But it did make me feel good.

Rich guy! Yeah! If only... I might have purchased one of his CDs.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Not In The Mood

The best time to do something is when you're not in the mood to do it. This trains you to do things that you're not in the mood to do, and that's a skill that you can use every day!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

City Of Crazies

I love the big city, but I get tired of dealing with the stark, raving, crazy people day in and day out.

This morning, two women were walking together holding small children by the hand. I assume that they were taking the kids to pre-school.

They passed a middle-aged homeless woman who began to follow them, repeating, "Yeah, I'm gonna get me one of those kids. That's right. I'm going to get me one of those kids."

I purposely placed myself between the homeless person and the women with the children. At the end of the block, the women with the kids turned the corner and kept walking calmly. The homeless woman stopped and stood there laughing in a way that I found most disturbing.

At midday, I passed a tall, well-dressed young woman with a German accent. The woman pushed a baby carriage while shrieking into a mobile phone at the top of her lungs. (I didn't look to see if there was a baby inside.)

As she passed, I heard the words, "I didn't have the opportunity, but I'm smart!" She stretched that last word: "I'm smaaaaaaart!"

She kept yelling the same thing over and over. I heard her until we were several blocks apart.

Apparently, there's a dire shortage of padded rooms.

Freezing Rain

I try to embrace unpleasant weather with a positive attitude. You can't change the weather, so you might as well make the best of it.

But there just isn't any way to view freezing rain in a positive light. It's pure misery - slippery, cold, and dangerous - so please excuse me if all of that treacherous ice leaves me in a foul mood.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Hold Yourself To A Higher Standard

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you hold yourself to a higher standard.

If you fail to raise your standards, it will be amazing if you accomplish anything at all.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

What Makes Men Attractive To Women?

The Huffington Post published a light-hearted editorial listing eleven traits that supposedly make men attractive to women. Not physical traits, but vaguely defined qualities such as intelligence, sensitivity, and confidence.

Articles like this are fun to read in a guilty pleasures sort of way. I would like to believe that women really do appreciate these qualities, but I question whether women would notice a man with these qualities at a typical social gathering.

We've all been to our fair share of receptions and cocktail parties. We've all watched the women there gravitate toward a predictable set of archetypes: Expensive Suit And Watch Guy, Arrogant Fast Talker Guy, Tanned Workout Guy, Portly But Hilarious Guy, and Life Of The Party Guy.

If Eleven Traits That Women Love Guy doesn't know anyone at the event, he'll end up engaging in a series of safe conversations with men. They'll talk about business, politics, sports, pop culture, current events, and the latest scientific discoveries.

But unless he's introduced to a lady, or he decides to make a bold move in an attempt to get a particular lady's attention, Eleven Traits Guy will remain invisible for most of the evening.

Copyright © 2015 Daniel R. South

It's Not A Goal If You Can Do It

A goal that you could complete in an afternoon, or even by the end of the week, isn't a goal. It's an errand. It's an item on your To Do list.

A goal will require you to do one or both of the following:

- Expand your current capabilities

- Marshal and manage external resources, i.e. get other people to help you and contribute to the realization of your vision.

A goal should have built in challenges over and above scheduling time to deal with it.

Sometimes we set a goal that's too aggressive, one that might not be possible to achieve. But that's not really a problem.

A massive, seemingly improbable goal can motivate you to think differently about your own capabilities. It can inspire you to gain information and undertake training, activities that will make you stronger in the long run.

A huge, daunting goal will encourage you to look at problems in a new way, to devise new techniques and strategies, and to search for people and resources with the power to offer assistance.

An improbable goal isn't necessarily impractical. You can divide an aggressive goal into smaller goals or revise the scope of the goal to make it more manageable.

Ultimately, your goals should inspire you to take action and to discover possibilities and opportunities that you hadn't thought of previously. If your goals are too cautious or too limited, they won't encourage you to go as far as you can.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Suffering In The World

Yesterday was a rough news day. I was watching coverage of the execution of the Jordanian fighter pilot when images of the horrible Metro North train wreck started to filter in. My heart goes out to all who suffered.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Hijab Day

I read that this was Hijab Day, meant to encourage women to try wearing head scarfs. Gee, ladies, if you want to be treated like second class citizens, why not go all out - cancel your credit cards, burn your driver's license, cancel your voting registration, and transfer your bank balance into your husband's account? Will that make you feel more holy?

Excuse me if I don't understand the attraction.

South Of Someplace