Domestic Violence

Ray Rice has become the face of domestic violence. This is expected, but it's probably not going to have much of an effect on preventing spousal abuse.

Rice was fired today from the Baltimore Ravens football organization after TMZ released a video of him punching his girlfriend in an elevator in Atlantic City. The victim is a woman. The culprit is a powerful professional athlete. He punched her in the face and knocked her out. The outrage is well deserved as is his very public dismissal.

But consider for a moment that there are men int this world - lots of them - who quietly terrorize their wives, girlfriends, children, step-children, nieces and nephews every week, even every day. There are men who abuse their wives and children in ways that Mr. Rice probably couldn't imagine, and they do so regularly. 

For these men, cruelty is a natural as breathing, and domination has become an all-powerful addiction. 

These men thrive on the absolute power that they hold over the battered woman in their lives. They long for any perceived excuse to slap or punch a woman or a child or berate them with incessant hurtful language.

The wives and girlfriends in these scenarios rarely seek relief or justice, because the fear that hangs over them is so terrifying that it paralyzes their thought and actions and destroys any hope of rescue from the person hell of their households.

How can we identify these monsters and separate them from the women whose lives they have all but destroyed? Where are the mindful social workers? Where are the TMZ cameras? Where are the heavily fortified shelters that will be needed to protect these women from future beatings? Where is the political will to imprison these men for assault and attempted murder?

The press and the court of public opinion will vilify Mr. Rice for his impulsive overreaction to a scuffle with an angry woman. He deserves no sympathy. 

But countless abused women and children do deserve our sympathy, our support, and a path to lasting safety. Sadly, few of them will ever get that chance. We'll occupy our thoughts in the coming months with chastising the Celebrity Jerk of the Moment while looking obliviously in the wrong direction. And after a while, we'll just forget the whole thing.

Copyright © 2014 Daniel R. South 
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