A Wasted Life

Aaron Hernandez - What a troubled young life! What a waste of talent! My heart aches for his family. 🙁

Arbitrary Cruelty

That poor man in Cleveland! Was he targeted at random and then killed online for someone's fiendish amusement? I can't imagine anyone being so arbitrarily cruel to another human being or to any living thing.

LMAO - Golf

Trump used to complain that President Obama spent too much time golfing. Feel free to laugh your ass off.

Unspeakable

There's bad news. There's disturbing news. There's horrifying news. And then there's what happened to those children in Syria this week - unspeakable!

Remembering MLK

Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights activist who died on this day in 1968. May his cause and his message live on forever.

Scenes From A Film: Risky Business

Paul Brickman's 1983 film 'Risky Business' is one of my all-time favorite movies. My enduring appreciation of this daring coming of age classic is based on the emotional depth of two key scenes. 

I'm not talking about "Love On A Train" (with music from Tangerine Dream) or "Dancing In Underwear" (with music by Bob Seger). Both are iconic, groundbreaking scenes that everyone remembers and enjoys. My favorites are a bit more subtle.

The first scene follows the moment when Joel's life has bottomed out. He has damaged his father's Porsche. He's been expelled from school and banned from important extracurricular activities. Distraught and confused, he borrows a friend's bike, takes the train to the city center, and races up several flights stairs to Lana's apartment.

Lana recognizes that Joel is distraught. She takes him into his arms and holds him as his tears flow. But the comfort that she gives is a charade. She's distant and unfeeling; the detachment is clearly visible in her face. She only pretends to care.

The scene is heartwrenching - we identify with Joel's pain and cringe at Lana's predictable coldness - but it is a beautifully staged example of how two people can experience the same moment differently. Joel's innocence has been shattered. He's in shock. He pours his heart and soul out to Lana, and she doesn't feel anything.

"It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four-letter word." - Joel Goodson

The second scene is at the end when Joel and Lana meet for lunch in a restaurant. Joel asks her point blank if their time together meant anything or if it was all just a setup. She doesn't answer; she just stares off into the distance.

Anyone who has been in a lopsided relationship - or the end of a relationship when one person stops caring for the other - will recognized the fatalistic frustration of these moments. Love is self-generating and independently motivated. It is practically impossible to convince a person to care when either they didn't care in the first place, or they stopped caring along the way. Those emotions have to come from them, and they have to come honestly.

Happily, Joel walks away with prospects for a bright future. He can look back over his brief time with Lana as a transitional phase punctuated with valuable lessons that elevated him from insecurity to confidence, from innocence to manhood. Still, the haunting dynamic between the college bound boy and the world weary young woman is as fascinating as any romantic relationship in film. It's awkward and exciting at the same time. It is a hopeful as it is hopeless. It's controversial and remarkably ill-advised, but even in their final encounter, we wonder if there might be some way for them to go on.

"My name is Joel Goodson. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?"

Copyright © 2017 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

The Value Of Laughter

Laughter reduces stress, improves your mood, and makes the miserable seem tolerable. Laugh as much and as often as you can. 😄

A Prescription For Grief

Grief is devastating. It's powerful enough to kill us if we let it. 

Closure is evasive, even when we do all of the right things, consistently and faithfully, to encourage its progress. 

The healthiest option is to be honest about our feelings. Be sad when you're sad. Be angry when you're angry. Never hide from the truth, even when the truth is brutal.

Focus on the future, even if that future seems unimaginable. Keep moving forward every day. Believe with all of your heart that brighter times lie ahead, and do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to reach those brighter days.

Copyright © 2017 Daniel R. South 

All Rights Reserved

Always Be Honest

Always be honest, especially with your friends. You probably have too many friends.

Second Quarter

Don't think of this as April Fool's Day. It's the start of the 2nd quarter. Think about what you are going to accomplish in the next 3 months.