South Of Someplace: October 2014

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween!

Happy

Day of the Dead

Reformation Day

All Hallows' Evening (Halloween)

and

All Saints' Day

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Personally, I'm fascinated by the fact that Halloween comes exactly two months before New Year's Eve. But knowing that New Year's Day and All Saints' Day are also separated by two months, for some reason that just doesn't interest me at all.

Monday, October 27, 2014

A Brief History of an Epidemic

1. A man flies to Dallas from West Africa. He feels sick, so he goes to the emergency room. They send him home. He gets really sick and returns to the hospital where he eventually dies. Two of the man's caregivers come down with the disease.

2. A doctor goes to Africa to treat people with the same disease. He flies home to New York, rides the subway, dines out and goes bowling before realizing that, oops! He's infected. A special team from the fire department transports him to an isolation ward at a specially designated hospital.

3. Governors in a handful of heavily populated states enact mandatory quarantine restrictions in order to prevent health care workers (who may be infected with Ebola) from frequenting public places (e.g. going bowling or riding the subway) during the disease's incubation period. The White House and the CDC immediately dismiss these regulations as unfair. Some worry that health care volunteers will be discouraged if the restrictions remain in effect.

4. A nurse confined by the new quarantine restriction complains to the press that she has been inconvenienced. She asks to return to her job and her family right away. Under pressure from public scrutiny, the governors cave in and permit the woman to opt out of quarantine. (Go ahead, lady! Run down to the local day care center and give all of the kids a big hug. Selfishness suits you.)

5. Who knows? But it's absolutely certain that more people will be infected with the disease. If MSF and other NGOs are unwilling to enforce quarantines on their own, and if self-centered Ebola carriers continue to roam around in public, the disease will continue to spread. If one of your relatives gets sick, don't blame Governors Christie or Cuomo for trying to do the right thing, even though it was unpopular.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

When Is Enough Going To Be Enough?

So many things went wrong today. A fifteen-year-old boy had unsupervised access to a powerful firearm. No parent ensured that the gun was locked away safely. No security detection equipment prevented him from taking the gun onto school property and into a crowded cafeteria. Some combination of influences in the boy's life led him to believe that rejection by a girl should be answered with murder.

An innocent child is dead and four more have been gravely wounded. Their families and friends are devastated. A community mourns. Because a girl said "No" to a boy, and the boy decided to shoot a bunch of people. And because no one prevented a child from gaining access to deadly force.

If you think that firearms protect people, think about those children at the cafeteria table being shot at point blank range. Think about it graphically. Think about their little bodies being pierced by heavy lead slugs speeding toward them at 1,000 miles per hour. How were they protected? What good did that gun do for them?

It's sad that schools and police departments and hospitals have to prepare for this type of tragedy, but I am thankful that they go through the trouble. But it's not enough. It doesn't prevent the angry maniac who's standing near you or sitting across the table from you from ending your life in an instant, all because they couldn't handle a bit of normal, everyday disappointment without giving in to some insane urge to end someone's life.

When is enough finally going to be enough?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Please Vote This Year!

Please vote this year. The greedy people and the angry people always vote, and it's not a good idea to let them run things.

Why Are You Still Here?

Dear Monica Lewinsky, no one forced you to make the choices that you made, and while you were doing those tawdry things, you were happy. You were having the time or your life. You kept the soiled dress as a trophy. You even bragged about it to your old friend Linda (big mistake-she was recording that phone call for Ken Starr).

I realize that you endured some humiliation along the way for things that again you chose to do all by yourself. But no one beat you to death like Matthew Stafford. So please don't compare yourself to him. Don't even mention his name anymore.

And please don't think that your life is difficult. It's not. You didn't lose your home in the financial crisis. You don't have cancer. Your husband didn't fool around with his intern - oh, wait, that was you. Your job hasn't been outsourced. You didn't lose a limb or acquire PTSD in Iraq.

So please, 1. Stop talking. 2. Get over yourself. And 3. Go away.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Torches and Pitchforks

When society is controlled by the wrath violent mobs and murderous maniacs, it ceases to be a society. It becomes a jungle.

Student Driver

One of my colleagues is studying in preparation for getting a driver's license. She's in her twenties, but I don't believe that she has ever operated a car.

At lunchtime, she asked me to help her with some of the online test questions that she had missed. She didn't understand what a soft shoulder was or why it was better, if one wheel fell onto the shoulder, to ease up on the gas rather than applying the brake. I did my best to explain it to her.

She didn't understand why pedestrians should face oncoming traffic on roads without sidewalks. I explained that as well.

I was surprised when she said that she didn't know the difference between headlights and high beams, but I was shocked when she then asked me to explain what headlights are. (No, I'm not kidding.) I gave her an explanation of the difference and recommendations on when to use one or the other.

In summation, watch out world! She'll be out on the roads very soon now. Oh, and I forgot to mention that she is an avid texter.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

End Game

It's the end game now. The goal is within reach. Just a few final laps to go.

Don't think about the distance. Don't think about the finish line. Don't clutter your mind with unnecessary pressure.

Just keep going. Keep breathing. Keep taking one step after another. Keep doing what you did to get this far, and you'll be okay.

You're going to make it. You're going to get there. Even if it seems impossible.

Friday, October 10, 2014

A Delightful Moment Of Candor

A colleague in India telephoned me this morning, a young lady who is always very formal and polite in her manner of speaking. She needed my help to understand a defect in a computer program that she had written.

It took me a while to explain and demonstrate what was causing the problem. The problem wasn't complex, but for some reason she had trouble seeing it. I had to get her to look past her assumptions and understand what was really happening.

Suddenly, she comprehended her mistake, and in that moment - and I am never going to forget this - she let loose with an emphatic exclamation of "OH, SHIT!"

It was so funny and so out of character. I couldn't stop laughing.

The Advantages of Marriage for Men

Every man should consider the benefits of marriage. You never know when it might be handy to have a detailed, cross referenced, fully indexed and painstakingly organized catalog of every mistake that you have ever made.

Worse Than Garlic

This evening, a man who smelled like a garlic bagel boarded the train and sat in the seat next to me. - I'm not making this up. That's exactly how he smelled, and the odor was quite strong. It was very unpleasant, and I considered changing seats.

Two minutes later, the man suddenly stood up and walked to the next car.

In reflecting upon his unexpected departure, I had to grapple with an uncomfortable truth. This man reeked of garlic, but it's possible that I smelled even worse.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Right Hand Man

I don't trust a person who claims to be their boss's right hand man. Think about what their boss does with his right hand.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

A Candle In The Darkness - The Appeal of Film Noir

In darkness, a single candle seems warm and inviting and powerful. Its light can guide us away from danger and help us to move to a better place.

This helps to explain the appeal of noir, a genre in fiction and film where imperfect characters navigate grim and desperate situations. When one of those characters shows a flicker of decency or charity or valor, we respond to their positive attributes, their "shining light." We feel inspired to take on the darkness in our own lives and rise above the challenges that we face.

This is the essence of heroism, inspiring others to overcome obstacles with resolution, energy, and a proactive outlook. The darker the night, the deeper the trouble, the brighter one act of goodness or kindness will appear.

South Of Someplace